A&H

Managers trying to get in your head before the game !

H

Hartlepool_ref

Active Member
After reffing for 7/8 years (since the age of 15) I've only ever reported 2 managers for misconduct. However, strangely enough each of the two managers before the game gave me "oh well all we want is a fair game ref, that's all we ask". One even went as far as to tell me he'd reported the referee from the previous week to the FA because he was quote "shocking" (maybe he was, maybe he wasn't).
Anyway, my game last Sunday was a youth game (under 12s) I don't normally do these but my other games had been called off and was offered it last minute (other ref was poorly or something)... Did normal "hello" with home manager, gave flags and explained just ins and outs. Went to the away manager... Very loose handshake, then he proceeded to tell me that he "wanted a fair game... Blah blah". I then explained to him, calmly, that I was in no way affiliated with home team ("my accumulator already bombed by 5pm yesterday so I didn't need them to win any money" I believe we're my choice of words). I then explained that if he was unhappy in anyway with the appointment of me as the official to state now and the game can be called off to ensure 100% fairness ensues; bearing in mind I've never reffe either of these teams before and normally don't ref any younger than u14's......... I wish I could have taken a photo of his face ! He did the old "oh no, I didn't mean it like that" so I said "well why say it then ? If this is your way of trying to influence the game before it even starts your barking up the wrong tree"... I didn't hear a peep from him all game and revived 95/100. In fairness there was nothing to write home about, the game finished 6-3 to home team and I hardly used my whistle.
As sad as it sounds it felt like a massive victory against people who like to blame everyone else (us mainly) than themselves !
I could have been wrong about him but there seems to be a pattern/correlation between managers who give YOU a pre match talk !

Has anyone else had a similar experience ? Or is it just the North east haha.
 
The Referee Store
I just flat out ignore them. Always respond with "ill be calling them in in 2 mjnutes" or similar and walk off

Won't even entertain the discussion. It is an attempt to bias you before the kick off. And you're quite right, these are the managers that moan for the duration of the game.
 
I had one last season. There was a pitch clash at Team A's ground but Team B said we could play it there. The guy from Team A kept me constantly up to date with what was going on in terms of where we were playing and the league said we were fine to change venues. This gave me no idea of what was to come on match day, after a red card for OFFINABUS for Team A midfielder in the first half, the coach was an absolute nightmare. At one point he was dismissed from the vicinity then decided that he would return 5 minutes later, the game was very nearly abandoned (not just because of this incident) but it turns out that Team A have a bit of a reputation of giving the ref a hard time and trying to get the game abandoned if they're struggling.
 
Happens all the time.

I don't even dignify it with a response anymore, I usually say something along the lines of "enjoy the game" and walk away. It always surprises me how managers still think that this kind of thing works.
 
jofusref said:
the more referees report these clowns the better chance something can be done about them
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I think that's a bit extreme.
When I was a manager of a youth football team I would always have a chat with the referee before the game, mostly because I am a friendly chap who was genuinely interested in the ref's season but also to make sure that he saw me, and by extension my team, as a good bunch. I would always say something along the lines of "well, you shouldn't have any trouble with my lads and as far as the other team are concerned, we've never had any trouble with them so it should be an good game." I knew that my team were generally well behaved but were also a bit lightweight so I wanted the ref to think of my team as the good guys and if things got rough the ref would clamp down a little earlier than he might otherwise do. Probably completely ineffectual but who knows. I do know that we won the fair play award (which was from ref's scores rather than card count) 3 years out of 5.
Now I get a lot of managers (and I do mostly youth football) coming over and saying things like "last time we played this team they were very physical and so I would appreciate it if you could protect my team" or words to that effect. I think this is what a lot of managers mean when they say "we just want a fair game," I don't think they are usually trying to imply that you will be unfair, I think that they are trying to suggest - in a very ham-fisted way - that the other team are a bunch of dirty cheats who will, if you are not on your game, kick his team remorselessly.
I just reply, "I just give what I see," or words to that effect.
 
To be fair who can blame them. Might as well try every trick in the book to get themselves the odd decision. I'm pleasant to speak to, if I'm offered tea or a drink five fore a game if I'm thirsty I'll take it. The other week I was offered gloves by a manager when it was cold, I declined. But as soon as I blow that whistle to start the match any biased goes out the window. Personally I think refereeing is more a reactionary thing, so find very rarely having the time to think about making a biased decision.
 
I have had a couple of instances of trying to get into my head, but these have occurred when the home team manager has phoned in the week to confirm the game. Comments along the line of 'I'd better make you aware of the opposition we are playing' and then go on to paint a picture of a dirty team who will give the referee a hard time with reference to incidents from past games. I have just thanked the manager for making me aware and just asked them to make sure their team are on their best behaviour. When I have done the game I have had no problem with the team I have been warned about, and they have been nothing like the picture that was painted.
 
Don't get me wrong ive had chats with managers before a game and I don't have a problem with it but as soon as the conversation tips towards him telling me either something about the other team, a specific player or a manager being bad or something along those lines I go with what @happywhistler would say "just make make sure your team are well behaved and let me worry about them".
The only time I've ever entertained a warning from someone was when one of the coaches informed me that the night before, on Facebook, there has been some threats dished out I.e "I'm guna snap your legs tomorrow". It was something to do with the fact that a few players played for one team and then moved to that team. Also to be fair to the manager he said both sets of players had been at it and pointed all the cyber culprits out discreetly.
After 10 mins the first hand bags occurred and I clamped down it instantly and the game went without a hitch. To be fair the two lads who squared up were the ones he pointed out to me
So in the end this potential world war 3 game of football was quite pleasant despite the warnings which is what I always find to be the case
 
Have to agree with McTavish seems very harsh, how can "I just want a fair game ref" be conceived as "if you are unhappy in anyway with the appointment"?
 
I had one who insisted , both in the call to confirm appointment and on the day, that I wouldn't hear a peep from him or his players, "We always respect the referee" ; "Easiest game you'll have all season" etc etc etc.

I don't give a "certain penalty" and then of course they found their voices.

Manager (Ex referee apparently) insisted on having a chat after the game, which included debate about a factually in law incorrect call he had made about an offside!

Really hate it when anyone says to me "This will be an easy game ref"!
 
When a conversation with a manager starts to bore me, I just say, anyway mate have a good game. Can't see the point in going down a dead end like the conversation you got yourself in with this manager. U12's mentioning accumulators? Doesn't make any sense.
 
I normally just say, it's a pity my sister "Mary Poppins" is not avaliable today because she is the one who is practically perfect in every way, whereas I'm just human.
They normally just stand there and look at me like I'm mad
 
Cheshire Ref said:
Have to agree with McTavish seems very harsh, how can "I just want a fair game ref" be conceived as "if you are unhappy in anyway with the appointment"?
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Surely it's assumed that when you show up for a game you're going to be fair and just to the best of your ability; so why would someone remind you of your duties if not to try and put pressure on you ?

And @Jacko: it wasn't a conversation, it was me informing him that his cheap attempt to pressure me wasn't working.

Whether he was genuine or not; you can't tell me that if you start saying things like that your not trying to get under the referees skin a little.
 
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