Mick.
RefChat Addict
A salutary lesson. Last Tuesday I had a cracking game (which was assessed). Both teams wanted to play football and got on and did so. Minor answering back on decisions but nothing that warranted more than a quiet word.
Wednesday, a lower league game who appeared to want to play football but at an obviously poorer standard. About 10 minutes in Green defender bent over and backed into Yellow attacker going for a header. This has been discussed recently on another post. I saw it as an unfair "charge" and blew up for a foul. Green defender started shouting at me that it was never a foul. I repeated that it was a foul "charge" and that the foul stood. He then said, not particularly loudly - enough for me to hear from 10m away, "how is that a foul you pr@ck?"
I called the captain over, explained to him why the foul was a foul and then turned to the Green defender and said, "Call me a pr@ck again and you are walking." Whaaat? I didn't even give him a yellow!!!! I have no idea why not. I have never let a player talk to me like that before. His captain cuffed him around the head and told him to keep his mouth shut and, in fairness, I never had another issue with this player again, but what on earth was I thinking?
Needless to say, about 15 minutes later, there was a disputed foul by Yellow which resulted in me talking to the Yellow captain about arguing with my decision. As soon as he was close enough he said, "Can I just remind you ref that you let Green go for calling you a pr@ck." He was absolutely right. How could I really card him when I haven't even carded someone for OFFINABUS directed at me? I did work on the basis of the stepped approach and gave him a public word of advice, but even so..... To compound things, while the Yellow captain was walking towards me, the Green player who fouled him had a go at him about throwing himself to the floor and called him a "fat f@cker". I had determined that this was OFFINABUS, but when I finished dealing with the Yellow captain and called the Green player to me the two passed each other and shook hands. To my mind, especially considering that I hadn't dealt with the previous OFFINABUS properly, this was sufficient to give him a public word of advice as the Yellow captain did not seem to be offended. It was extremely weak on my part and I just felt worse as the match progressed when I heard the Yellow lino moaning about how it was a personal comment about the Yellow captain.
As far as I was concerned, my match control was shot to bits. It didn't happen often, but any time that a player gobbed off I couldn't justify to myself carding him, having not dealt with the earlier issues properly. I tried to "manage" it with having public rebukes but felt like I had really sold my soul. Towards the end of the game I called a player over and with the captain said, "I am sorry, I have not controlled this match properly, but will be doing so from now on. One more word from you or (to the captain) your team and I will be getting the cards out."
I did have a bit of a let off as there were very little comments after that.
Don't get me wrong, the game was not full of dissent, but there were niggly bits that probably would not have happened if I had dealt with things properly. I don't know why I didn't. I just know that I want to get back into a match (back on the horse so to speak) and ensure that future dissent/Offinabus is dealt with appropriately.
I know that I should reflect on my performance and then move on, which is what I have done, but I do still believe that I have let myself down and, by extension, let you lot down too. To next week's ref, sorry mate.
Wednesday, a lower league game who appeared to want to play football but at an obviously poorer standard. About 10 minutes in Green defender bent over and backed into Yellow attacker going for a header. This has been discussed recently on another post. I saw it as an unfair "charge" and blew up for a foul. Green defender started shouting at me that it was never a foul. I repeated that it was a foul "charge" and that the foul stood. He then said, not particularly loudly - enough for me to hear from 10m away, "how is that a foul you pr@ck?"
I called the captain over, explained to him why the foul was a foul and then turned to the Green defender and said, "Call me a pr@ck again and you are walking." Whaaat? I didn't even give him a yellow!!!! I have no idea why not. I have never let a player talk to me like that before. His captain cuffed him around the head and told him to keep his mouth shut and, in fairness, I never had another issue with this player again, but what on earth was I thinking?
Needless to say, about 15 minutes later, there was a disputed foul by Yellow which resulted in me talking to the Yellow captain about arguing with my decision. As soon as he was close enough he said, "Can I just remind you ref that you let Green go for calling you a pr@ck." He was absolutely right. How could I really card him when I haven't even carded someone for OFFINABUS directed at me? I did work on the basis of the stepped approach and gave him a public word of advice, but even so..... To compound things, while the Yellow captain was walking towards me, the Green player who fouled him had a go at him about throwing himself to the floor and called him a "fat f@cker". I had determined that this was OFFINABUS, but when I finished dealing with the Yellow captain and called the Green player to me the two passed each other and shook hands. To my mind, especially considering that I hadn't dealt with the previous OFFINABUS properly, this was sufficient to give him a public word of advice as the Yellow captain did not seem to be offended. It was extremely weak on my part and I just felt worse as the match progressed when I heard the Yellow lino moaning about how it was a personal comment about the Yellow captain.
As far as I was concerned, my match control was shot to bits. It didn't happen often, but any time that a player gobbed off I couldn't justify to myself carding him, having not dealt with the earlier issues properly. I tried to "manage" it with having public rebukes but felt like I had really sold my soul. Towards the end of the game I called a player over and with the captain said, "I am sorry, I have not controlled this match properly, but will be doing so from now on. One more word from you or (to the captain) your team and I will be getting the cards out."
I did have a bit of a let off as there were very little comments after that.
Don't get me wrong, the game was not full of dissent, but there were niggly bits that probably would not have happened if I had dealt with things properly. I don't know why I didn't. I just know that I want to get back into a match (back on the horse so to speak) and ensure that future dissent/Offinabus is dealt with appropriately.
I know that I should reflect on my performance and then move on, which is what I have done, but I do still believe that I have let myself down and, by extension, let you lot down too. To next week's ref, sorry mate.