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In your last sentence, you are presumably excluding the shoulder of the defender into the back of the attacker?Poor decision for the referee to give it in the first instance but sometimes our eyes deceive us and we think we saw something that didn’t actually happen. So I do have some sympathy - we’re all human after all and mistakes happen.
Not really sure what the VAR is thinking though. I can’t see something that even looks like being a foul at any point, so I don’t think it’s even a case of it not being clear and obvious enough to review.