The Ref Stop

Just a couple of things.

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Any advice or knowledge on these would be great folkes.

Being to verbal in games..
So basicly feeling the need to speak during games during play, so I’ll often say the following.. fair challenge, fair battle, play on play on (that’s my biggest and most frequently used) no way fella no way etc etc.

So it’s almost like I feel I need to justify not giving a free kick or I’m giving my ok for the game to continue, it’s never been an issue upuntil the other week when a player said in play can you stop giving a commentary it’s really offputing, so it got me thinking..

So if I pick the bones out of it & asses it the only thing I can put it down to is I’m sort of responding to appeals or potential appeals from players, I’m kinda instructing don’t stop or your not getting the decision & play on.

I personally haven’t felt awkward or like I’m doing anything wrong giving a brief input now & then in a 50/50 situation between two players but I was interested in what you guys thought, if it’s something you’ve had any experience of or how vocal you are mid game?

Next one is being alert & assertive enough to remember who has said what & who did what, so for instance a player says something I’ve seen who it is play continues I go to have a word & ive got three or four that look alike in the same kit & ive forgotten who it is.

I’m not talking dissent I’m talking a player may have asked a perfectly innocent question or there may have been an incident where a player has done something border line & ive gone back to have a word, low and behold I can’t identify who it was.

I’m wondering if you need to be a certain type of person or have a certain brain to be ontop of so much & to multi task for 90 mins.
I’m hoping with experience it gets easier, let’s hope so.

So I can see what’s infront of me & deal with it in real time, the moment I go back to someone or something I’m struggling.

These are two things that happen every game.
 
The Ref Stop
Being alert/aware comes with practice, the more games you do the easier it gets, but one method I use is to pick a distinguishing feature about the player I want to speak to, something that sets them apart from the others.

Could be their fluorescent green boots, or their pink spiky hair, you don’t need to shout it out, but it can help.

As for talking too much I’m the opposite, I hardly talk during my games. I’ll let players know what’s going on etc, and I’m more than happy to have a chat at a break in play, but I don’t give a running commentary.

But I know some refs who are constantly chatting away and never stop. Basically it’s whatever works for you, but as you found out the other day, you need to be aware of whether the players appreciate it.
 
Good shout on picking a feature on a player I’ll certainly try that in future.

As for running commentary it’s only at certain points in games, like a potential foul or coming together it almost feels like the players involved are expecting my input.

One player has complained in 30 odd middles so I’ll leave it as the minority at present and carry on the way I am, it was ironic that the player & team in question were one of the most vocal moaning teams ever. I felt like responding but i didn’t.
 
Men in Black said:
Any advice or knowledge on these would be great folkes.

Being to verbal in games..
So basicly feeling the need to speak during games during play, so I’ll often say the following.. fair challenge, fair battle, play on play on (that’s my biggest and most frequently used) no way fella no way etc etc.

So it’s almost like I feel I need to justify not giving a free kick or I’m giving my ok for the game to continue, it’s never been an issue upuntil the other week when a player said in play can you stop giving a commentary it’s really offputing, so it got me thinking..

So if I pick the bones out of it & asses it the only thing I can put it down to is I’m sort of responding to appeals or potential appeals from players, I’m kinda instructing don’t stop or your not getting the decision & play on.

I personally haven’t felt awkward or like I’m doing anything wrong giving a brief input now & then in a 50/50 situation between two players but I was interested in what you guys thought, if it’s something you’ve had any experience of or how vocal you are mid game?

Next one is being alert & assertive enough to remember who has said what & who did what, so for instance a player says something I’ve seen who it is play continues I go to have a word & ive got three or four that look alike in the same kit & ive forgotten who it is.

I’m not talking dissent I’m talking a player may have asked a perfectly innocent question or there may have been an incident where a player has done something border line & ive gone back to have a word, low and behold I can’t identify who it was.

I’m wondering if you need to be a certain type of person or have a certain brain to be ontop of so much & to multi task for 90 mins.
I’m hoping with experience it gets easier, let’s hope so.

So I can see what’s infront of me & deal with it in real time, the moment I go back to someone or something I’m struggling.

These are two things that happen every game.
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Whenever you tackle a new challenge, your mind is likely to be overworked. Once aspects of the process become second nature, the mental capacity to cope with these 'details' will become available and you'll become more aware of what's going on around you. That's based on my experience of 50 or so games
In terms of what the player said about your commentary, don't lose sight of the fact that many players will use absolutely anything against you to undermine your position. The player's comment is low level dissent and it should be ignored. Indeed, I've read other referee's assessments in which the referee has been criticized for not communicating in this way
 
Also mindset and relationship with players & coaches before during & after game, so basically I’ve upuntil now felt like I’m there to be part of the match day bit of banter good convo with everyone before and after, I think I’ve put to much emphasis on this & actually need to turn up like a loner and ref the game, I’m there for me I’m not part of a team I’m there to do my best job on my own.

I’m quite a chatty person and get on with most folk (believe it or not) less so on forums lol. I want to have a smile on my face at games & be approachable but at the same time I want to concentrate 100% at the task in hand & zone into ref mode, I’ve found upuntil now I’ve been like a old pal of the teams turning up.

I’m now more of the mindset that I’m a referee and I’m a Lone Ranger, to give the best performance I need to zone in & try to keep everything else around officiating to a minimum.

Looking back on refs I’ve experienced none of them have ever gone out of there way to be overly chatty off the pitch they just turn up do there job and then jog on.
 
Sheffields Finest said:
Yeh, learn when to be vocal and learn when to STFU... The more you say the more it can hang you if you're not on your A game...
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Is there anything in refereeing that isn’t a balancing act?

Can’t think of a single aspect of the job that doesn’t involve balancing what u do or say.
 
Men in Black said:
Also mindset and relationship with players & coaches before during & after game, so basically I’ve upuntil now felt like I’m there to be part of the match day bit of banter good convo with everyone before and after, I think I’ve put to much emphasis on this & actually need to turn up like a loner and ref the game, I’m there for me I’m not part of a team I’m there to do my best job on my own.

I’m quite a chatty person and get on with most folk (believe it or not) less so on forums lol. I want to have a smile on my face at games & be approachable but at the same time I want to concentrate 100% at the task in hand & zone into ref mode, I’ve found upuntil now I’ve been like a old pal of the teams turning up.

I’m now more of the mindset that I’m a referee and I’m a Lone Ranger, to give the best performance I need to zone in & try to keep everything else around officiating to a minimum.

Looking back on refs I’ve experienced none of them have ever gone out of there way to be overly chatty off the pitch they just turn up do there job and then jog on.
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It sounds cynical, but even banter can be used against you. Fall foul of getting too friendly with anyone and you'll end up feeling let down and naive. Take Michael Oliver; I doubt he got to the top by patting players on the back and sharing endless banter. At the same time, we're not meant to be cold impersonal robots. It may be a challenge none of us will ever master
 
Sorry to keep these coming but they are things relevant to me & that are causing me a concern.

Nerves before the game on the first whistle that slowly go as the game goes on.

Basically im really nervous before I blow the whistle I’m self conscious when I blow it, I feel like all eyes are on me & that everyone is watching me & not the game.

As I work into games my confidence grows & by the 60th min I’m enjoying it for the first time & right in the grove.

Do nerves or early nerves play a part in any of your games.

It’s been more so lately in youth games u17 / u18, did a game lastnite must have been 50 odd people there & I was nervous as hell felt like all eyes were on me & every whistle it went silent it’s like the spotlight was on me.
I know thats all in my head but I can’t help it.

Got an under18’s tomoz nite decent standard evo stick ground under lights, just know if there is a few people there I’ll be a little nervous again.

Give me a Sunday morning men’s game in the snow with nobody there & im fine.
 
I think it’s a perfectly human reaction to get nervous in these situations, regardless of how experienced you are. If anything, it gets harder as the stakes are increased. Deep breathing seems to help me, just have to remember people don’t give a rat’s backside about you - they’re there to see their kids/friends/relatives etc or the football. Sure, you’re a part of it, but even you aren’t that special that they’re watching you the whole time ;)

As for being verbal, SF said it best - I fall more on the verbal side tbh and it’s done me fine so far. Don’t do a running commentary but I certainly try and build up a rapport by saying things like ‘good tackle’, ‘great save’ or something like that. More than anything, it helps them get used to your voice, so when you have to shout a quick ‘not offside, play on’ they’re used to and almost expecting to hear you.
 
If I naturally feel like saying play on or fair challenge or he’s onside then that’s obviously how I referee, I can’t ever see myself being silent.

One particular referee I’ve had for a few seasons officiates in complete silence & I mean complete silence, my opinion of him was does this fella know what he’s doing is he lost, he isn’t actually a bad ref just completely silent.

I won’t be going out of my way to chat to players but being one vocal little ******* as a player for so many years it’s hard to keep my mouth shut.

Funnily enough my verbal was always at the opposition and not the ref.
 
Men in Black said:
So basicly feeling the need to speak during games during play, so I’ll often say the following.. fair challenge, fair battle, play on play on (that’s my biggest and most frequently used) no way fella no way etc etc.
.
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Massive positive. Took me a couple of years to get comfortable doing this. The best refs I work with (great to hear on mics) talk a lot. Brief, to the point, keeps the game moving, heads off dissent. Great. One caveat, in lower level games, watch that your mouth doesn't go ahead of the players and your commentary doesn't over excite them. Like anything, you can over do it. If you are relaxed and in the zone then it's a massive positive.
 
santa sangria said:
Massive positive. Took me a couple of years to get comfortable doing this. The best refs I work with (great to hear on mics) talk a lot. Brief, to the point, keeps the game moving, heads off dissent. Great. One caveat, in lower level games, watch that your mouth doesn't go ahead of the players and your commentary doesn't over excite them. Like anything, you can over do it. If you are relaxed and in the zone then it's a massive positive.
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Like I say it’s just at certain points or coming togethers I just give a natural opinion vocally, it like you says stops a lot of moaning for decisions & puts players in the picture inplay.

Watched an ex Prem ref being very vocal in play in an amateur match, if it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for me.
 
I used to get even more nervous before playing. I found my performances were directly proportional to how nervous i felt before KO
Nerves are essential rather than unwanted imo
 
Big Cat said:
I used to get even more nervous before playing. I found my performances were directly proportional to how nervous i felt before KO
Nerves are essential rather than unwanted imo
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Never had a single nerve whilst playing ,was the most confident player on the park kicking a ball is what I loved the game or occasion made no difference to me. Tell a lie playing infront of nearly 2000 people as a 16yr old for the last 15 mins of a friendly v Watford scared the living daylights out of me but hand on heart that is the only time I’ve ever been nervous.

Refereeing I’ve been a nervous wreck at times, a lot my own fault for not knowing the lotg, but people said to me you’ve played for years you should walk it.. NO if anything I think it’s made it harder in some respects I went in with an attitude of this is a doddle I’ve dealt with these numptys in Black I’ll do it with my eyes closed..

Well we all know what knee deep quick sand I’ve got myself into so far, but nerves do get to me a bit pre match, I think it’s the responsibility & emphasis on me or Atleast that’s how it feels.

The reality is spectators & players only probably look at you when you blow the whistle, apart from that they’re watching the game.
 
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My vocalness depends on the game. When I was newly qualified I was a lot more vocal but with more games under my belt I have become quieter. I will always try to answer a question but not at the expense of getting distracted. My fav saying is not a chance as a player falls to the floor when there is clearly no foul. At youth will praise good saves and sporting behaivour but at OA will only praise at the end. Do I get nervous a bit as I want to get all the kmi right and come away thinking that was good today.
 
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Men in Black said:
The reality is spectators & players only probably look at you when you blow the whistle, apart from that they’re watching the game.
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A bit OT but I actually think its a lot more than that. They look at you almost every time they expect to get a whistle, whether you blow it or not. Most of them stop if you put the whistle in your mouth. That's why one of my favourite advice to new referees is that unless you are going to blow it, don't put the whistle in your mouth (with the 'possible' exception of playing advantage).
 
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