A&H

It’s Hard as a young referee

A111

New Member
Level 7 Referee
I’m a 16 a year old referee whos refereed for nearly a year now well lockdown and everything made it limited I guess?
Played the game last season but unfortunately couldn’t find a new team
I referee youth football mainly u15s and it’s been very hard these days because I’ve done 3 u13 games but it’s been very hard to be honest with loads of teaching the u13 players what’s allowed and not allowed. There’s even from each team swearing and etc at others on the other team. and I just feel like my foul recognition is quite bad well I do blow for those niggle fouls but since of the off ball fouls which occur behind me or the ones I don’t see is just difficult so as a young referee I feel like I’m not good enough just inexperienced really and youth football can be hard sometimes with the managers questioning my decisions and perants getting involved to
Can anyone tell me what refereeing OA football is like I might give it a go
 
The Referee Store
best advice would be to get down a local pitch and watch a game and see for yourself

players are obviously quicker, stronger, more skilful. they know how to play the game, wind up the opposition and, potentially, how to try an influence the ref.

it's not all bad though! there generally aren't any parents!!
 
Better yet, watch some more experienced referees ref youth football and learn how they deal with things you are having challenges with.

The best referees in the world starteded as inexperienced and "not good enough" at some stage. It gets easier as you get experience and the only way to get experience is to do more games.
 
If you feel the kids language is questionable, and by your own admission you are suspect at picking up fouls, then, imo, improve on what you already have before considering open age.
Adults will be ten times more industral, much more cynical in their fouls.
Not being harsh but if you are struggling to find your feet at u14s, as a kid yourself, you will be mauled by adults.

simply need to keep practising, apply the lotg to the best of your ability, if you recognise you have a few flaws, thats a positive in jtself, now find a remedy for them.
Get wider, keeping more of the players in view more of the time?
Increase your awareness of the potential for a delayed reaction?
give or not give fouls in tandem with the game itself, are things going ok can i let that push go, or, wait, i need take control here, i need to give that foul, the gsmd will benefit from it?

not easy as a kid yourself, if you want try be assertive though, when the occasion arises, inform the coach that today only works one way

the coach coaches
the players play
the referee referees
and the spectators spectate

if those groups do what those groups should be doing, you get half a chance of a decent afternoon.
 
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Well when I referee u15s everything goes good
But when I do u13
If you feel the kids language is questionable, and by your own admission you are suspect at picking up fouls, then, imo, improve on what you already have before considering open age.
Adults will be ten times more industral, much more cynical in their fouls.
Not being harsh but if you are struggling to find your feet at u14s, as a kid yourself, you will be mauled by adults.

simply need to keep practising, apply the lotg to the best of your ability, if you recognise you have a few flaws, thats a positive in jtself, now find a remedy for them.
Get wider, keeping more of the players in view more of the time?
Increase your awareness of the potential for a delayed reaction?
give or not give fouls in tandem with the game itself, are things going ok can i let that push go, or, wait, i need take control here, i need to give that foul, the gsmd will benefit from it?

not easy as a kid yourself, if you want try be assertive though, when the occasion arises, inform the coach that today only works one way

the coach cosches
the players play
the referee referees
and the spectators spectate

if those groups do what those groups should be doing, you get half a chance of a decent afternoon.
when I do u15s everything goes good
When I do u13s there’s issues
 
Can anyone tell me what refereeing OA football is like I might give it a go

Better, because as you say, they'll generally know what to expect, so it's less of educating them and more of managing them.

However...

can be hard sometimes with the managers questioning my decisions and perants getting involved to

If you feel you're struggling with questioning at youth level, I will warn you that you in particular will be getting a torrent of it if you do adult games. That's because you're 16, and I can promise you that Adults will try their utmost to take advantage of this, they will try to play on your lack of experience, manipulate you, get in your head, question you and in many cases, outright abuse you in the expectation that you'll wilt and not show a caution for dissent and then they'll be your best friend to spin your head and have you all at sea.

And this is going to be amplified if you think your foul detection is poor, and/or that you can't deal with benches winding each other up.

Honestly, the best thing you could do is talk to your Ref's Development Officer and ask them to give you advice and get an observer/mentor to come to some of your games at youth level and look at how you're refereeing. They'll be able to identify issues and better still, will be able to give you confidence that you're on the right track. You might even want to ask them if they might be able to get you some AO Reserves games, where the stakes are lower, and you might get some experience at adult games, so that you can gradually build up your confidence as well.

Watching games isn't much good if you're not too sure what you're looking for, and I don't advise it generally because the last thing you need is to pop over to see centre-circle mike giving a penalty from 60 yards away and waving away dissent like he's not bothered. That won't teach you good habits - my personal view is that you are always best served by observers/mentors who will guide you on the right path. Save the match-watching for when you're more experienced and can identify with more clarity what things you can pick up and add to your game etc. Just IMO of course.
 
To follow on from Roboda's sound advice have you thought about assisting?

This will give you a somewhat protected forray into adult football. You'll get to see lots of different referees (good and bad) and will learn an awful lot from them - all
 
Another good development route is to get yourself running the line as an Assistant Ref as part of a team of 3.

Down here in the south west, we have an U18 floodlight league that plays games mid-week that require a team of 3. Although considerably older than you, I found doing some time on the line was great for my development as a newish referee (and I enjoyed working as part of a team of three - much less lonely than being on your own in the middle)

You get to see another ref in action, but also talk through with them key points from the game at half and full time

[Edit: looks like @JamesL and I posted at the same time. Great minds and all that …]
 
I am 36 years old and there is no way I could have refereed at your age. I wouldn't have had the confidence or character to do so. You'll learn so many skills that will be invaluable for the rest of your career and life. So well done for even starting and making the effort to do something you love.

The suggestion to do a few lines is a great idea, you are protected by the referee and will see how an experience referee handles things at a higher level.
 
My advice would be:

- Don’t rush into OA. Yes players are more experienced, but they can also be more cunning.

- Speak to your Referee Development Officer about possible moly getting involved in local academies - many of these offer mentoring for younger referees and it is generally a very supportive and enjoyable setting.

- Try OA football as an assistant first - you will be able to watch some really experienced referees and assistant referees, and learn some tricks of the trade from them.

- Join your local referee association/society. Then you could ask them to find you a mentor - this is so useful when starting out and/or considering promotion as you will learn more tricks and have someone to support you from the sidelines.

- The only way to improve is to make mistakes and learn from them, so don’t be too tough on yourself!

Are you a member of an RA and which CFA are you affiliated with?

Really impressed to see your guts - at 16, I wouldn't have had the bottle to referee...

T
 
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I’m a 16 a year old referee whos refereed for nearly a year now well lockdown and everything made it limited I guess?
Played the game last season but unfortunately couldn’t find a new team
I referee youth football mainly u15s and it’s been very hard these days because I’ve done 3 u13 games but it’s been very hard to be honest with loads of teaching the u13 players what’s allowed and not allowed. There’s even from each team swearing and etc at others on the other team. and I just feel like my foul recognition is quite bad well I do blow for those niggle fouls but since of the off ball fouls which occur behind me or the ones I don’t see is just difficult so as a young referee I feel like I’m not good enough just inexperienced really and youth football can be hard sometimes with the managers questioning my decisions and perants getting involved to
Can anyone tell me what refereeing OA football is like I might give it a go
It’s easy to come of the pitch and question yourself after you had players and parents screaming at you. As every game passes you will become more experienced and confident, as long as you calling these decisions as you see them you must stand by them. No Matter what you will always upset 50% of players/parents. You also still young. Stick with it, try not to take it personally and remember it’s all a learning curve.

good luck 👍
 
I will pop in and say some teams are just outright mouthy, some are decent, you'll figure out which are which as time goes on. It's generally not a reflection on your ability as a referee.

I sometimes have a game and come out thinking 'was I really that bad', and then I tell myself that no, the team were just 'one of those teams' that go on at you all game about trivial decisions, I've done the same 2 Saturday leagues (morning and afternoon) for 4 seasons so I've worked out which teams are going to give me a hard time and I go in with that knowledge and deal with them more robustly.

I've even red carded one manager and yellow carded another in a 2 weekend period recently, and those were my 2 first ever sanctions to team officials, and one was to one of the 'annoying' teams.

It'll all come with time, stick to what you are doing at the moment game wise and I echo others saying get into AR for a few games if you can, even alternate weekends. It'll honestly do you the world of good having less pressure but still being involved (as AR) and you really do learn a lot.

Enjoy the rest of the season!
 
I’m a 16 a year old referee whos refereed for nearly a year now well lockdown and everything made it limited I guess?
Played the game last season but unfortunately couldn’t find a new team
I referee youth football mainly u15s and it’s been very hard these days because I’ve done 3 u13 games but it’s been very hard to be honest with loads of teaching the u13 players what’s allowed and not allowed. There’s even from each team swearing and etc at others on the other team. and I just feel like my foul recognition is quite bad well I do blow for those niggle fouls but since of the off ball fouls which occur behind me or the ones I don’t see is just difficult so as a young referee I feel like I’m not good enough just inexperienced really and youth football can be hard sometimes with the managers questioning my decisions and perants getting involved to
Can anyone tell me what refereeing OA football is like I might give it a go
What County FA are you with?
 
As has been said, some teams just don't know how to behave. I did an U14 game yesterday and one of the parents told me that last week they played a team who sound an absolute nightmare. One of the 13 year old players swore at the referee. He took him over to the side-line and told the manager "he's just called me a f***ing c**t and I want you to sub him or I'm sending him off!" The player then stood on the side swearing at the Referee as he ran past. The manager did nothing to sort this out and joined in swearing at the other team's parents and encouraging his players (U14) to do the same. This does nothing to help the next ref the team has. The referee is as bad as the team.

Unfortunately most referees for junior football tend to be either young and inexperienced or old and don't care. The managers don't understand or don't care that if they chase new referees out of the game they will end up with only the old ones, who will not be doing it for much longer, so their game will die.

I referee on a church league and one of the worst players for discipline on the league (he is currently suspended from the league) runs a youth team and has now qualified as a referee. He will be doing his own team so they will be a nightmare and he will let them get away with it.

Don't worry about how you're doing, because you will be making a lot fewer mistakes than the players. The other thing is that even if you do get stuff wrong you will get better as you get more experienced. They probably won't get much better at playing than they are now. They tell you when they think you're wrong - It doesn't mean you are wrong. The players will think pundits on MOTD know the laws of the game, and they really don't.
After the game when you self-evaluate (we all do it) for every thing you think you got wrong try to think of something you got right. It will be easier to think of correct decisions.

If there are things happening off the ball try to make a point of telling the players "I didn't see it but if I do I'm going to deal with it and I'm looking out for it now" If players are swearing at other players then deal with it. I'm much harder on youth players swearing than adults, but I go the other way for fouls generally, unless they're serious. If you see a player swear at an opponent then you could easily send him off. Alternatively, tell him to stop and if he doesn't then he's been warned. If he has a go at you when you tell him to stop then you can caution him if not too bad or send him if it is. Try not to just ignore it, although I know that's hard to do at your age.

As has been suggested, join a league as an assistant and watch how more senior referees handle things. If you have had problems with a particular team you could always go to one of their games to watch how other referees handle them. Either they will handle them well, in which case you might pick up tips, or they don't and you see that it's nothing to do with you.

Keep at it. Any Referee on here who says they have never come back from a game and said "that's it! What an awful game. I'm not doing that again!" is not being honest. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
 
I think you’re being very hard on yourself. Which is easily done because as a ref it is a very lonely experience.

Like me your still fairly new to it all, it’s all about getting experience and building confidence.

don’t beat yourself up about missing a foul or one bad decision, or not seeing one of the little ****s push an opponent behind you. As a player if you miss a sitter the quicker you forget about it the better. And it’s the same with reffing, make a bad decision or miss a decision. That’s life, move on, make sure you don’t miss another.

to be reffing at 16 is commendable in itself. I’ve found 13 and 14 year olds to be the most moany whiney aged players, it’s never enough for a yellow but it’s grating. Stick at it, find the balance, let the game flow, try your best to demonstrate to the players you understand. But be authorative where you need to be, don’t entertain or engage in conversation with them if you don’t need to. And if a 13 year old needs to sit in the sin bin for 8 minutes then so be it.

You don’t have to actively engage with every player who shouts “REF THATS A FOUL”, and you don’t need to explain yourself to them. One of the hardest thing I found when starting out was learning that a 15 year old screaming “REFFF!!!!” Doesnt actually require you to respond. Sometimes a stern look, or just eye contact is enough. like someone said above, maybe don’t watch referees locally on a Sunday, because you might unknowingly be watching a very rubbish ref. instead you could watch a few prem or championship games and observe the ref throughout the game.

One of the best peices of advice I have recently had is “make sure they all think you are the calmest person on the field, even if inside you feel like you are on fire.”

the social skills and interactions you learn to manage and deal with in refereeing will not be wasted as you get older, so if you can, stick at it and keep practising. :)
 
Hi, I am a 16yo Ref and have definitely had days like the ones you describe... I think we all have. This is my fourth year as a junior referee and it is only this year that I have felt like I have a reasonably high level of control and confidence in my self. I am doing senior games now and this is a whole new challenge. As others have said - don’t beat yourself up. It takes time to improve and foul identification, positioning and player management all come with time and practice and experience. Our bad games tend to teach us important things. I should also say that U13s can be quite challenging because no one seems to know the LOTG very well and they aren’t really used to formal refereeing. Hang in there and try to find a few slightly older referee mentors you can watch and learn from. It will get better... and more fun!
 
As said above, wave the flag. You'll learn loads, enjoy better matches, grow confidence... do it! It's the one short cut!
 
I’ve just turned 17 and have been doing this for almost 3 years and some key advice I’d say is always appear calm and in control even if you aren’t, stand tall and show strong body language (hand signals, strong whistle etc) and have complete confidence in your decisions publicly anyway. If the players see that you’re in control and mean business they’ll likely respect you more and trust your decisions.
Also with the parents and managers although it’s difficult just try and zone out from them what they think about your decision is irrelevant your the only person making that decision so as I said before show complete confidence with the call you made and that way it’s shows you’re in charge, even at youth level if young refs like us especially show that we are being influenced by them even in the slightest or aren’t confident in our calls managers and parents will try and intimidate us and take advantage.
Also in terms of your foul judgement in my case it just came with experience and also just trying to take in as much football as I could at all levels to see what was considered a foul and what wasn’t and it really does help in my opinion. Also always try and get wide on the pitch and use the whole pitch as you’ll likely get much better angles to judge those niggly type fouls and throw ins etc.
Finally not sure what county you’re in but I’d try and ask your RDO or Ref Appointments Secretary if they can arrange for a mentor to come down and watch some of your games as the experience that they’ll bring and teach you is invaluable and it definitely helped me become a better ref
 
one peice of advice, i was a liason officer for my referee ascottiation and i told our youngsters
we dont give you nice cards to keep nice and dry in your pocket] dont be scared to use them, it does get easier wiith experience
 
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