Homophobic language
- Thread starter Pezza
- Start date
- Status
Red but also speak to the coach because that language doesn’t come from nature and he’s picked it up somewhere. Likely school rather than home but it needs challenging from parents and explaining why it’s wrong everywhere, not just on the pitch.
fwiw I don’t think he would’ve meant it in a homophobic way, gay is used in place of bad in the same way r*tard is at that age. Doesn’t make it’s use acceptable but it’s important context and WHY you should explain to the player and then the coach why he is being sent off.
It’s been a long time since I’ve refereed junior leagues, but I’m not quite sure I’d advocate giving a 9/10 year old a red card for something I’m pretty sure the player doesn’t understand fully.
Of course context is important - but most likely I think I’d go with the teachable moment, involve his coach and explain why it’s not acceptable, how it could be punished and ask them to substitute the player for the remainder of the game.
Of course context is important - but most likely I think I’d go with the teachable moment, involve his coach and explain why it’s not acceptable, how it could be punished and ask them to substitute the player for the remainder of the game.
Last edited:
one
RefChat Addict
Not sure how is this any different to the player than showing him the red card. As far as he is concerned, he is taking no further part in the game for what he said due to your decision (sent off). Not criticising but serious question. Allowing a sub in is only a concession to the team not the player.
I'd show the red card but the delivery of the card has to be 'light'. While I'd explain briefly to the player the reason for send off, I'll give the coach a chance to do this in due time and in detail by letting him know.
Depending on competitiveness of the game, if the other coach agrees I'll let another player in for the team playing short but only at the next stoppage.
This isn't really making the point you think it is.
one
RefChat Addict
There has been a lot of discussion on refereeing younger age youth games. Here is where my thoughts are which also apply for this thread.
At this age the game is about the kids enjoying the game, learning to play and also learning 'the terms' they should play the game under. Learning how to deal with win or loss is also part of it. We as referees are not there to teach them all that, but to facilitate it so that the coaches and parents get the opportunity to teach them all that. In most cases coaches and parents are sensible enough to understand this. Sometimes they are not.
At this age the game is about the kids enjoying the game, learning to play and also learning 'the terms' they should play the game under. Learning how to deal with win or loss is also part of it. We as referees are not there to teach them all that, but to facilitate it so that the coaches and parents get the opportunity to teach them all that. In most cases coaches and parents are sensible enough to understand this. Sometimes they are not.
Anubis
RefChat Addict
Context.
its a word used to plenty kids cartoons too, for example, Simpsons.
Gay, is not even an offensive term. If you are going to say " it is to someine who is straight", then I say to , would you dismiss for someone calling a gay person " straight?"
above all tho, context.
the situation sounds managable. Am strugglimg to believe it was used as offence at this age level. We need remember we are not life coaches.
slightly off topic but, in adults, I had a game I was giving a few freekicks to a player, who was getting fouled.
" awwwwww ref, you giving him everything, you fancy him?" came the shout.
" yes, hes a good looking guy, " i replied.....few second delay and i continued, now pointing to my gf and kid at the side of the pitch, " hopefully my burd dont mind"
Few seconds laughter from all angles, ( inc fortunately from the better half)
its a word used to plenty kids cartoons too, for example, Simpsons.
Gay, is not even an offensive term. If you are going to say " it is to someine who is straight", then I say to , would you dismiss for someone calling a gay person " straight?"
above all tho, context.
the situation sounds managable. Am strugglimg to believe it was used as offence at this age level. We need remember we are not life coaches.
slightly off topic but, in adults, I had a game I was giving a few freekicks to a player, who was getting fouled.
" awwwwww ref, you giving him everything, you fancy him?" came the shout.
" yes, hes a good looking guy, " i replied.....few second delay and i continued, now pointing to my gf and kid at the side of the pitch, " hopefully my burd dont mind"
Few seconds laughter from all angles, ( inc fortunately from the better half)
This isn't really making the point you think it is.
Well It is making a point. I coach kids. These kids do use on the odd occassion the term gay. It means lame and rubbish to the fourteen and fifteen year olds I coach. Its use there and its context is not homophobic.
Hence I asked what does the term mean to that kid (u10)?
Last edited:
But it shouldn’t be used in the context of being ‘lame or rubbish’, that’s the point. It’s the suggestion that anyone who is gay is ‘rubbish or lame’.
Is the suggestion there at all? You are displaying a bias using an adults cynical view of a word that has differing meanings.
I have coached kids from six to youth level. Nine year olds still believe in Father Christmas, a nine year olds world view is wholly different to a adults, hence why I asked what does the term mean to a U10 kid?
Anubis
RefChat Addict
Last edited:
Macca
Active Member
That's homophobic not sexist.
It's incredibly unlikely someone would make that comment on the field unless they were trying to offend.
I sent someone off in an underage game yesterday for calling another player a pu**y.
Just thinking about this and wondering why we as refs look for reasons not to card a player because they are young.
A red at u18 is a red at u10. Player ignorance should not be an excise.
Then do your job and educate them.
So you would referee a U18 game the same as a U10 game? You cannot. The game and those who play It are different as humans.
A nine year old is not an adult. Kids still think they are spiderman at nine. A child of nine will not have the same level of understanding as adult, they will have differing comprehension skills, this is not an opinion it is fact. A nine-year-olds brain is not fully developed.
Football has age related priorities , and rules due to the differing levels of understanding of kids. U10’s play a modified game due to their inability to understand the adult game, and its complexities.
Its very likely a child will not make that comment as a deep insult because they can't understand what a deep insult is, and will not understand differing sexuality. It is very likely a child will make comments they do not wholly understand, because they are children and should be treated as such.
- Status