A&H

Junior/Youth Go and kill yourself, Ref!

Aaron Aven

Aaron Aven

Member
Level 7 Referee
Match today at 2:15pm.
Blue v Purple. (U14 age group). Both teams in the top division of their age and Blue is 3rd, Purple is 1st. So obviously the game was going to be a feisty! It started off okay, with strong tackles from both sides and they were fair. I gave free kicks where it was necessary, and the first half went pretty well. At half time, score was 2-0 to Purple.

2nd half was a bit more physical with nudges in the back were happening left, right and centre. It was one of those games where all of the parents and managers are shouting 'Ref' every 2 minutes! :rolleyes:

But coming into the 30th minute, Blue player was running down the line and then a Purple player comes in with a challenge. The ball gets stuck in between both of them and then pops out past the goal line. Both teams claim that it's there goal kick/corner, so I look to my linesman who said he didn't see it properly. So I award a goal kick (because on the course I was told to always go in favour of defence if you have to make a decision like that). There was then an uproar from the blue team and number 3 comes up to me and says "You need to go kill yourself ref!". So I pull him over, take his name etc and issue the yellow card. Then carried a rather aggressive game on to the end. (Final score was 2-2). S

So what I want to know, is what would you guys have done in that situation? Would you have issued a yellow or red? Thinking about it now, maybe it was worth a red, but I think I opted for the yellow card due to the age of the player, even though that shouldn't have been an excuse. But yeah, what card would you have issued?

:D
 
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That's a tricky one. I suppose it depends on your tolerance levels, may be OFFINABUS to some, but for me, I'd struggle to justify that. YC for dissent.
 
All down to personal opinion, of course, but for me that's a red. That takes it too far in my view and is overly malicious
 
For me that comment is a red card.

We don't need that. Mental health issues affect everyone at some point in their lives and players can't speak to anyone like that, as its just disgusting, and what if hen said it to someone who was thinking about taking their life.
 
If someone tells me to go and kill myself they're not staying on the pitch any longer, no chance. Red for OFFINABUS
 
This is where people differ with their tolerance levels. For me this is a straight red, no question.
 
Thank you guys for your opinions! Thinking about it more now, I think I should have issued a red... :( Looking back at it more, it really is a malicious thing to say, but thank you for your views on it!
 
You did what you thought was right at the time.

Must say I'd have gone for a red as thats a pretty serious comment to be made.
 
Stonewall OFFINABUS in my opinion. But you did what you thought was right at the time so don't dwell on it.
 
I can accept the interpretation of a yellow, but for me this is a definite red. There are few things you can say to somebody that is more disgusting than that.
 
In @Aaron Aven defense at youth level things can be said and when written down sound terrible but can be said in certain ways by the yoof of today that don't sound as bad.
 
As I'm issuing the red card, I would tell the player something along the lines of "Did you realise my best friend killed himself?" If the player feels bad, tough, it will teach him to start thinking about what he'll say in future.
 
I have to agree with the reds here but we all have differing opinions on these things. Don't lose any sleep over it !
 
I've always had a worry about reffing youth games at U/14 and below, always worried about issues like this.

I would have struggled to send the player off too, but I might have spoken with the manager first and given him the option of subbing the player. Not the official thing to do of course and probably has a number of other issues if the manager wants to report you, just trying to think of was to manage the situation so the player is no longer on the pitch but I don't have a load of angry parents...
 
I reckon the worst thing you can do at youth level is patronise them by letting them get away with what's clearly the wrong thing. And that's a lesson I've learned the hard way.
 
I can see why you have issued a yellow, but for me its a red all day long. I had a similar situation last week, where a player whom I had just sent off commented implying that I was a junkie!
 
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