The Ref Stop

General Behaviour Getting Worse

Justylove

Justylove

RefChat Addict
This happened in the supply league I referee on (Step 5) and I’ve done both teams this season.

On the same day, in the same division another game was abandoned by the referee due to an ‘incident’ (I know the details but they are not public domain so won’t comment).

We also have had the chairman of a side in the same division banned for 8 games for punching an opposing player after a match.

Feels like behaviour is rapidly spiralling out of control and I don’t know what the solution is.


fanbanter.co.uk

Non league club suspend first-team player 'until further notice' after incident during match - Fan Banter

A non league club have took to suspend a first-team player of theirs ‘until further notice’ after an incident during a match. In a late-February fixture, a fan ran onto pitch to confront player in the Wessex League game between Moneyfields and Fareham Town, which finished 3-3. Photos show the...
fanbanter.co.uk fanbanter.co.uk
 
The Ref Stop
I sometimes go to my local step 3 team, for the first time this year they have had to use 'proper' stewards after many altercations between home and opposition fans as well as this there have been other instances involving fans and players e.g. pints regularly being thrown onto players. Although there were problems in the past, from my experience they weren't half as prevalent.
 
I'm involved in a women's league, and we have had more red cards for VC this season than we have in many previous seasons put together. Either someone has put something in the water or the enforced lockdown has had a profoundly damaging effect on behaviour.
 
Personally I've had far more issues this season than in all of the others put together.

All in different games:

1) Had a player try to headbutt me after I sent him off for a stamp right in front of me.

2) Had a player accuse me of being a cheat across social media channels after they had lost a close game that I was in the middle for.

3) Had to be escorted off the pitch by a Steward for our own safety after a game where the ref (I was on the line) had sent 2 of the home side off, one for a clear headbutt and the second for an attempted chokeslam on one of his own team. The steward then abused us as he was leading us off.

4) Extraordinary misconduct report after home side sparked a mass melee with the away team after entering the away dugout at full time to celebrate their victory due to some 'pre match needle in the press'

5) Having our post game food thrown at us through the changing room door and being told to 'not f*cling bother coming into the bar because someone will likely punch your lights out'

All of these things happened in a short space of time, a couple of the decisions were marginal and could have gone either way and the last one I got a penalty decision wrong and it cost them the game.
 
Its a reflection of society in general. People's lives are getting harder and they dont know how to do anything about it therefore take it out on each other. The football pitch is a prime battleground for it. The widespread use of recreational drugs and binge drinking of alcohol,not to mention its widespread ease of obtaining all these things all make things less difficult to control. And when professional football players are allowed to treat match officials the way they do because they are the 'stars' of the proceedings it's bound to filter down the chain including with youngsters.
 
Justylove said:
Personally I've had far more issues this season than in all of the others put together.

All in different games:

1) Had a player try to headbutt me after I sent him off for a stamp right in front of me.

2) Had a player accuse me of being a cheat across social media channels after they had lost a close game that I was in the middle for.

3) Had to be escorted off the pitch by a Steward for our own safety after a game where the ref (I was on the line) had sent 2 of the home side off, one for a clear headbutt and the second for an attempted chokeslam on one of his own team. The steward then abused us as he was leading us off.

4) Extraordinary misconduct report after home side sparked a mass melee with the away team after entering the away dugout at full time to celebrate their victory due to some 'pre match needle in the press'

5) Having our post game food thrown at us through the changing room door and being told to 'not f*cling bother coming into the bar because someone will likely punch your lights out'

All of these things happened in a short space of time, a couple of the decisions were marginal and could have gone either way and the last one I got a penalty decision wrong and it cost them the game.
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Sorry to hear about your multiple bad experiences this season.

As someone who has had a couple but nowhere near the amount above. How do you deal with it and keep refereeing?

I ask as I hear multiple story's in my county of refs quitting and I myself had a bit of a break from middles due to abuse.

Is it just a case of being mentally stronger and / or ignoring it?
 
3) and 4) didn't bother me, I actually found them quite amusing. 5) was from the guy who cooks the food in a club I know well and do pitch inspections for. I have a good relationship with the chairman and secretary (who were very unhappy with the individual and had no issues with my report and apologised to me afterwards)

1) and 2) were the worst and happened close together and I did think about quitting for a while. Ironically, the being labelled a cheat had more of a negative impact on me than the guy that tried to headbutt me!
 
Justylove said:
Personally I've had far more issues this season than in all of the others put together.

All in different games:

1) Had a player try to headbutt me after I sent him off for a stamp right in front of me.

2) Had a player accuse me of being a cheat across social media channels after they had lost a close game that I was in the middle for.

3) Had to be escorted off the pitch by a Steward for our own safety after a game where the ref (I was on the line) had sent 2 of the home side off, one for a clear headbutt and the second for an attempted chokeslam on one of his own team. The steward then abused us as he was leading us off.

4) Extraordinary misconduct report after home side sparked a mass melee with the away team after entering the away dugout at full time to celebrate their victory due to some 'pre match needle in the press'

5) Having our post game food thrown at us through the changing room door and being told to 'not f*cling bother coming into the bar because someone will likely punch your lights out'

All of these things happened in a short space of time, a couple of the decisions were marginal and could have gone either way and the last one I got a penalty decision wrong and it cost them the game.
Click to expand...
Bloody hell!

Too man for sticking with it, that’s more than enough to make you think “why am I doing this?!”
 
Sorry to hijack the post but I just wanted to add that I too,in the past,have been the 'victim' of criminal damage,constant threats of violence and fearing for my safety. It wasn't what forced me to take a break from reffing,that was more health stuff,but I am a stubborn bugger and dont back away from bullies. I tend to carry on and confront them. If an adult tried to butt me I would strike back and most likely be banned from reffing but if it was a youngster I'd have to back off. I admire others who dont let those bullies win too.
The joys of being a referee.
 
Justylove said:
This happened in the supply league I referee on (Step 5) and I’ve done both teams this season.

On the same day, in the same division another game was abandoned by the referee due to an ‘incident’ (I know the details but they are not public domain so won’t comment).

We also have had the chairman of a side in the same division banned for 8 games for punching an opposing player after a match.

Feels like behaviour is rapidly spiralling out of control and I don’t know what the solution is.


fanbanter.co.uk

Non league club suspend first-team player 'until further notice' after incident during match - Fan Banter

A non league club have took to suspend a first-team player of theirs ‘until further notice’ after an incident during a match. In a late-February fixture, a fan ran onto pitch to confront player in the Wessex League game between Moneyfields and Fareham Town, which finished 3-3. Photos show the...
fanbanter.co.uk fanbanter.co.uk
Click to expand...
I love the spot that the offender had their shoes on wrong!
 
Will_A said:
Bloody hell!

Too man for sticking with it, that’s more than enough to make you think “why am I doing this?!”
Click to expand...
99% of people in the game at non League level are honest and decent. Sometimes they cross the line during a game, but they respect that when they do, I deal with it and there's no hard feelings either way.

It's the tiny minority that seem to be getting more and more extreme in how they behave.
 
Justylove said:
Personally I've had far more issues this season than in all of the others put together.

All in different games:

1) Had a player try to headbutt me after I sent him off for a stamp right in front of me.

2) Had a player accuse me of being a cheat across social media channels after they had lost a close game that I was in the middle for.

3) Had to be escorted off the pitch by a Steward for our own safety after a game where the ref (I was on the line) had sent 2 of the home side off, one for a clear headbutt and the second for an attempted chokeslam on one of his own team. The steward then abused us as he was leading us off.

4) Extraordinary misconduct report after home side sparked a mass melee with the away team after entering the away dugout at full time to celebrate their victory due to some 'pre match needle in the press'

5) Having our post game food thrown at us through the changing room door and being told to 'not f*cling bother coming into the bar because someone will likely punch your lights out'

All of these things happened in a short space of time, a couple of the decisions were marginal and could have gone either way and the last one I got a penalty decision wrong and it cost them the game.
Click to expand...
There seems to be one common denominator in all these incidents 😘😂
 
Alex Rush-Fear said:
There seems to be one common denominator in all these incidents 😘😂
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🤣🤣

I forgot to add the club that has left the league after getting thrown out of their ground share agreement by the hosts after a player was sent off for racial abuse, then trashed the changing room and a group of their players were chucked out of the clubhouse after the game for more abuse (and no I wasn't involved in that one).
 
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Justylove said:
🤣🤣

I forgot to add the club that has left the league after getting thrown out of their ground share agreement by the hosts after a player was sent off for racial abuse, then trashed the changing room and a group of their players for chucked out the clubhouse after the game for more abuse (and no I wasn't involved in that one).
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Ohhhhh... THEM! What a lovely bunch
 
SpecsSaver66 said:
Its a reflection of society in general. People's lives are getting harder and they dont know how to do anything about it therefore take it out on each other. The football pitch is a prime battleground for it. The widespread use of recreational drugs and binge drinking of alcohol,not to mention its widespread ease of obtaining all these things all make things less difficult to control. And when professional football players are allowed to treat match officials the way they do because they are the 'stars' of the proceedings it's bound to filter down the chain including with youngsters.
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Yes, I agree, behaviour in football is just a reflection of the wider picture
Paradoxically, the more accepting and tolerant society is portrayed as and the more the media force feed us their marketing agendas like BLM, the more anti-social and nasty the picture becomes. FIFA 🤮 their appetite for having a +ve influence.. yeh right... We all know where their sole interests lie
The culture in football has ebbed & flowed over the years, but behavioural problems have always prevailed. But undoubtedly there's a nastier flavour to it now and I can only see it getting worse
 
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A mixture of the pandemic, general and consistent criticism of officials in the media (far worse since VAR) and a consistent minority of people in the crowd that are desperate for it to kick off so they can whack it on social media. Thats even crept into Sunday League.

To add to those examples on here, this season I've also seen a referee abused in the bar after the game by fans. The 3 of us were queuing at the bar when we were told to "**** off" and called every name under the sun. The ref had given a pen which they weren't happy with. Been on the line at a step 6 game where a few crowd members filmed themselves being racist towards a player which made the news. Been asked to provide a report for a fight that happened in the changing rooms between several players in a women's fa cup game. Been accused of colluding with the other officials in a disagreement about match balls (yes, really!). I've also seen coaches boozing before the game and then behaved disgracefully throughout. Just lots of weird examples of poor behaviour which you just don't expect. Bur what really grates me is the crap I've had after the game when we're just going in for a pint and a chat. I'm old school and once the game is over and you're showered and changed then thats it, it's over. When I played I never once remember officials being abused in the bar afterwards. Disagreed with maybe but it was always over a beer and the concensus that what happened on the field stayed there other than a relaxed discussion. If a fan, coach or player had been abusive to the officials in the bar they'd have been dragged out and thats where society has changed alot.

Dealing with the players is just football. I dont give it a second thought and most of the time there's nothing of note that happens. But outside of the players, general behaviour at grounds has gone down hill fast.

Its not just football either. Unbelievably it's happening in cricket too over the last few years and that's genuinely shocking. The umpire could've been completely inept and got every decision wrong in cricket but after the gane you bought him a beer and moved on. That is eroding too. I've played adult cricket since I was 14 and I was 35 before I heard an umpire abused. I have seen rare instances before but the captain or senior players would stop it there and then before it went anywhere and now that doesn't seem to happen? Suggests a societal problem
 
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I would consider referees Postmen and the Spectators the canines. You put that black top(other colours top) and you just become the hunted no matter how innocuously you go about your job.
 
This weekend was awful, I do agree.

Not the worst season overall for behaviour though.

Ben448844 said:
consistent criticism of officials in the media
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I've been in the paper three times in as many weeks, and in two of those articles my decisions were reported in negative light. The latter one particularly winds me up because it required selective eye-sight not to see it was the correct decision, put it that way.
 
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