A&H

Friendlies

BrumRef

Regular Contributor
Level 7 Referee
Hi,
Unfortunately due to a recent incident at a game and because of the lack of support I felt I was given at the time, I am thinking about giving up refereeing friendlies due to the stress and problems caused by these kind of games. My question is if any other referees have any thoughts on this and if anyone has had a similar experience on what they’ve done and if I can get some advice before I make a decision.
Thanks
 
The Referee Store
Hi,
Unfortunately due to a recent incident at a game and because of the lack of support I felt I was given at the time, I am thinking about giving up refereeing friendlies due to the stress and problems caused by these kind of games. My question is if any other referees have any thoughts on this and if anyone has had a similar experience on what they’ve done and if I can get some advice before I make a decision.
Thanks
You are not alone. I have swerved friendlies for 5 years now for these exact reasons.
I have gone back to them this season due to such long layoff and I am reffing at step 6 so the standard and behaviour is better
Don't know what it is about friendlies but in found I was having more red cards than the whole proper season.
 
Personally I hate friendlies. I always think that match officials are on a hiding to nothing doing them, especially at grassroots level.

There is an expectation that you’ll overlook bad behaviour and keep cards in your pocket, whilst players act like idiots.

Like @JamesL I've done a handful, mainly to get match sharpness for the start of the season. First supply league game I’ve got an observer, so a small number of pre season games to iron the kinks out is optimal.

Agree that Step 5 and 6 friendlies tend to be a bit better behaved and the closer the teams get to the season, the more they want the game to be played like a competitive fixture versus a practice match.
 
Hi,
Unfortunately due to a recent incident at a game and because of the lack of support I felt I was given at the time, I am thinking about giving up refereeing friendlies due to the stress and problems caused by these kind of games. My question is if any other referees have any thoughts on this and if anyone has had a similar experience on what they’ve done and if I can get some advice before I make a decision.
Thanks
Talk to your RDO. You sound like you are also thinking about carrying on. Run some lines. Ask for some youth matches. Avoid friendlies.
You've had some kind of traumatic experience. Take your time.
 
You need to set your stall out, referee it like any other match and make sure they know that's what will be happening........I'd never improve my standards just because it's a friendly.................
 
Hi,
Unfortunately due to a recent incident at a game and because of the lack of support I felt I was given at the time, I am thinking about giving up refereeing friendlies due to the stress and problems caused by these kind of games. My question is if any other referees have any thoughts on this and if anyone has had a similar experience on what they’ve done and if I can get some advice before I make a decision.
Thanks
Like the posters above, I have reservations about any game involving the term 'friendly', or 'tournament', or whatever
However, I've also done more of them (than I said I would) over the last few weeks due to the long lay-off and because they've improved my fitness
Refereeing is challenging enough for big, ugly, old blokes; it must have the potential to be really unforgiving at your age
 
I feel that I need pre season practice in the same way as teams and players so I always look for 5-6 friendlies before the season starts. At my level and in my area friendlies mostly come via direct contact so it's usually a team I'm familiar and have a reasonable relationship with. Often the more organised teams will have a friendly schedule planned out and might ask me to cover 2-3 games. I'm usually happy to accept such requests but I am wary of approaches from teams I don't really know particularly if it is a last minute thing.
 
I accepted a game 6 hours before kick off yesterday. I checked online that both clubs were affiliated etc, usual stuff. Turned up to a pitch with no pitch markings at all. The faintest of muddy touchlines, which had a few cones across them, but impossible to see penalty areas etc. Less than ideal to say the least but spirit of the game etc we got going. The weather was awful and there was a mist of cannabis in the air from some of the more enthusiastic away fans, who seemingly needed medicinal support after watching the first 2 minutes.

What transpired was an excellent game of football. Competitive, fair and with both sides a pleasure to referee. Plenty of stick from the sidelines, but nothing daft and I think they were more comedic to me and both teams than abusive.

0 cards, 0 incidents on the field and a decent run out for us all. 9 friendlies done for me this month and so far so good.
 
I accepted a game 6 hours before kick off yesterday. I checked online that both clubs were affiliated etc, usual stuff. Turned up to a pitch with no pitch markings at all. The faintest of muddy touchlines, which had a few cones across them, but impossible to see penalty areas etc. Less than ideal to say the least but spirit of the game etc we got going. The weather was awful and there was a mist of cannabis in the air from some of the more enthusiastic away fans, who seemingly needed medicinal support after watching the first 2 minutes.

What transpired was an excellent game of football. Competitive, fair and with both sides a pleasure to referee. Plenty of stick from the sidelines, but nothing daft and I think they were more comedic to me and both teams than abusive.

0 cards, 0 incidents on the field and a decent run out for us all. 9 friendlies done for me this month and so far so good.
Probably just the type of game I would have turned down but I just shows that you can never tell.
 
I’ve always done pre season friendlies but have found this year, there’s just something in the air other than COVID. U17 friendly today, 1 team had 6 yellows and 2 reds. I abandoned with couple minutes left just to keep the players safe and I had reached my limit.
 
Just back from a friendly this morning. Excellent match played in great spirits in Rotherham. Went back to the home teams pub who treated the opposition and ref like Kings, insisting we were first for the food they put on and refused to let me pay for several pints of guiness. Just how Sunday League in the UK should be.
 
Just had a text message from an unknown sender - 'Can you manage a game on Friday night, 7pm at VENUE X'. No name, no mention of teams and even managed to get my name wrong.

Sorry, unavailable!
 
Here in my area, we don't have too many friendlies. The matches are usually all organized through a league associated with US Soccer. However, they do happen. I generally have an informal list I keep of clubs, teams, and coaches that I'll work friendlies for. Obviously, I'll work friendlies for my son's U13 team. No one has to worry about lining up referees, and I usually work these games solo since they are much more like scrimmages than actual games. For example, if a coach wants to stop the game to make a coaching point, I'll stop the game and just add time later.

If it's my son's game, I usually just ref it as a volunteer. I use the excuse that I'd rather referee a game for my workout than run. For other matches, as long as the match fee is fairly reasonable, I'll work the match. I have a pretty good relationship with a lot of coaches in my area, and they appreciate that I take these matches as seriously as I would any other match. I do sometimes take advantage of these games to break out my pink referee shirt, which isn't an approved color in the US and one I like to wear when I get the chance.
 
Had two friendlies this summer. First was uneventful to the point of boredom. The second was one of the most demanding games I’ve refereed in terms of player behaviour.

Weren’t too many bad challenges but the level of petulance embarrassing. Constantly bickering with each other. Trying to get each other booked. Denying they’d done anything wrong when they’d commited blatant fouls....that sort of garbage.

Cautioned one for mocking and taunting an opposition player as he dribbled past him. Naturally he couldn’t believe it and went on to tell me it wasn’t an offence blah blah. which ultimately bought him a C2 for good measure.

It was like being a PE teacher in a bad comprehensive school.
 
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