The Ref Stop

Difficult match

wazztie16

wazztie16

Level 4 Referee
Level 4 Referee
I'd like your thoughts on one incident in my match yesterday, well I say in my match, it happened after the final whistle but whilst I was still on the field of play, in the centre, waiting for anyone who dared come near me (after I'd dished out 4 yellows).

Away team not happy with my performance, I felt I did ok, probably wasn't my best performance but the away teams moaning and the conditions made things more difficult.

Anyway, away team player (they lost by a goal) comes towards me and as he's walking past me, quietly says pathetic in a tone and the direction that I'm sure it's aimed at me.

I go to speak to him, and he claims he was on about his teams performance.

What would you do, if anything? What do you think I did?
 
The Ref Stop
It’s a difficult one. That’s a comment you can’t be sure aimed at you. You could handle it in 3 ways

1) Ignore it
2) Nail him with a card
3) Hit him with a comeback like “Don’t be too hard on yourself, you weren’t THAT bad”

Based on what you said in the tone of the game, I probably wouldn’t have advised 3 on this occasion.
 
Justylove said:
It’s a difficult one. That’s a comment you can’t be sure aimed at you. You could handle it in 3 ways

1) Ignore it
2) Nail him with a card
3) Hit him with a comeback like “Don’t be too hard on yourself, you weren’t THAT bad”

Based on what you said in the tone of the game, I probably wouldn’t have advised 3 on this occasion.
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I am sure it was aimed at me, he said it in close proximity to me, quiet enough that it's likely only I would hear it, most players by that point were heading off the pitch due to the weather.
 
If you ask if he’s directed the comment at you and he says he didn’t, there’s nothing you can do really. You caution him then it’ll probably escalate things as he’d kick up a fuss about it in the overly dramatic reaction players seem to have these days...had plenty of holding the head in disbelief myself yesterday. Embarrassing.

If he’s directed at you then denies it, it makes him look a bit of a fool in my opinion. Depending on your mood I probably would’ve smiled it off.
 
Personally I would choose to ignore it and not raise my profile unnecessarily. Given that it was said quietly, the game has finished and everyone is walking off the pitch.

I tend to ask myself “what benefit will I get from this?” In this particular situation I can’t see any benefit to your game by even acknowledging the comment.

On the other hand if this was during the game and it wasn’t his first comment I would make a huge point about bringing the captain over and saying you are about go over step the mark and it is bordering on dissent. No more (cut the grass) or I will have no option other than a sin bin.
 
Markjamesbfc said:
Personally I would choose to ignore it and not raise my profile unnecessarily. Given that it was said quietly, the game has finished and everyone is walking off the pitch.

I tend to ask myself “what benefit will I get from this?” In this particular situation I can’t see any benefit to your game by even acknowledging the comment.

On the other hand if this was during the game and it wasn’t his first comment I would make a huge point about bringing the captain over and saying you are about go over step the mark and it is bordering on dissent. No more (cut the grass) or I will have no option other than a sin bin.
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You don't get any benefit straight away but he has one in you next time you have to referee him. Every other referee this player referee also benefits from you not ignoring it.

I'd go with 2 or 3 depending on my mood and how the game had gone. If you are going to caution don't engage with him. Blow whatley, show card and walk away.

Here is another line "would have probably done better if you weren't playing" :)
 
one said:
You don't get any benefit straight away but he has one in you next time you have to referee him. Every other referee this player referee also benefits from you not ignoring it.

I'd go with 2 or 3 depending on my mood and how the game had gone. If you are going to caution don't engage with him. Blow whatley, show card and walk away.

Here is another line "would have probably done better if you weren't playing" :)
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I’m sorry I completely disagree. The player will no doubt not even remember the comment by the time he/she has got changed.

Not punishing a passing comment that you are not even certain was directed at you won’t go against the next referee. If it was a player screaming across the pitch at the referee or asst and not being punished I would completely agree with you. That absolutely would impact the next referee.

Also, as the original poster is from the UK do not EVER just show a card and not interact with the player. Make sure you follow the correct procedure!!
 
Personally, I’d ignore it. The games done, just let him trudge off. Ok, we could all argue it’s a booking but at that stage, is there any real need to push the frustration levels? Everyone will have forgotten about it next time you meet again so unless he’s made a real point of arguing with you rather than a quick passing comment, just move on I say
 
wazztie16 said:
I'd like your thoughts on one incident in my match yesterday, well I say in my match, it happened after the final whistle but whilst I was still on the field of play, in the centre, waiting for anyone who dared come near me (after I'd dished out 4 yellows).

Away team not happy with my performance, I felt I did ok, probably wasn't my best performance but the away teams moaning and the conditions made things more difficult.

Anyway, away team player (they lost by a goal) comes towards me and as he's walking past me, quietly says pathetic in a tone and the direction that I'm sure it's aimed at me.

I go to speak to him, and he claims he was on about his teams performance.

What would you do, if anything? What do you think I did?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't hear him.
 
Just to be clear: don't ignore but don't hear it. Remove yourself from the area as quickly as you can. You can't justify ignoring a clear offense, but you can justify intelligently not knowing about it.
 
Much of how you respond to things like this depends on how experienced you are and how confident you are. I'm very vocal on the pitch so by the end of the game most players will know they can talk to me, and something like this I'd be tempted to use a joke like "really, didn't think you were that bad". But I wouldn't have done that 20 years ago when I'd first started out and would probably have reported him for it.

There are loads of options, and not all will work for every referee ...

- ignore it and walk away
- smile to show that you aren't bothered by it
- make a quip or sarcastic response
- say "sorry, what was that you said, I didn't catch it", at which point they will almost always not repeat it
- pull a yellow card out
- and probably other options as well
 
Why is it that we are accepting a player disrespecting a match official this way. This is not about pride or ego. This is about a culture shift. As long as we accept (ignore) it, it will keep happening. We cant have it both ways. One the one hand we complain about authorities not take action when it happens, on the other hand when it happens to us, we don't take actions.
 
Context. I think it depends how much you have been communicating with the players and the tone so far.

If you have been talking a lot for whatever reason, and if you have already talked with players about low dissent, maybe you should act. Something like: “I hope that wasn’t aimed at me, be careful what you say because we still have to use our cards after the final whistle.”

If it’s been a cold game, ignore and file under talking to himself.
 
wazztie16 said:
I'd like your thoughts on one incident in my match yesterday, well I say in my match, it happened after the final whistle but whilst I was still on the field of play, in the centre, waiting for anyone who dared come near me (after I'd dished out 4 yellows).

Away team not happy with my performance, I felt I did ok, probably wasn't my best performance but the away teams moaning and the conditions made things more difficult.

Anyway, away team player (they lost by a goal) comes towards me and as he's walking past me, quietly says pathetic in a tone and the direction that I'm sure it's aimed at me.

I go to speak to him, and he claims he was on about his teams performance.

What would you do, if anything? What do you think I did?
Click to expand...

To be honest, I'd ignore it. But you'd have been within your right to C2 if it was aimed at you.
Also, 4 yellows? That's nothing / average... don't let the fact that you book players in a game worry you about if you're in their good books or not...
 
Keeday said:
I think you have to be selectively deaf at times and this is probably one of those :)
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No chance. I'll ask the player straight if it was directed at me or ask him why he's whispering. Never once has anyone admitted that it was aimed at me. Im not taking this type of nonsense just because I'm wearing a black uniform. Equally I'm not making a big issue of it, just giving the player an opportunity to repeat himself whilst im looking at him.

I'm not being incendiary or fuelling any fires, but equally I'm not going to take snide comments from anyone. If a player thinks I'm the worst referee in the world then I'm absolutely happy to let them say that to my face, its their opinion and I couldn't care less. But snide comments hoping I'll ignore it, no way. Also, in amateur leagues I will often be reffing these teams again later in the season and if I accept this type of verbal abuse from them once then I cant complain if it happens again and again.
 
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