Delusional coaches killing the youth game

[RustyRef]

I've always been much harder on managers than players, if you get them under control then more often than not player behaviour will follow suit.

A very notorious manager at step 3 and 4 in the South East area told me that he knew he had to behave if I was refereeing his teams. I don't think I ever took disciplinary action against him but the threat remained there as I'd warned him over the course of many games. Don't think he liked being told what he could and couldn't do, but we built up a mutual understanding that I'd be fine with him as long as he didn't overstep the mark. As bizarre as it sounds it got to the point that if he started to get out of hand I could just shout his name and he would reign it in.

It just can't be ignored, that will just embolden them to keep doing it and escalate.

 

[BenS]

I've been a coach for a few years now and have been absolutely shocked at some of the things I've heard shouted from further down the touchline. I have twice removed by team from the pitch due to the language and aggression being displayed by one particular coach, sadly the reports made after the games have never got anywhere, but he's well known in our area. You'll often see clubs advertising for a 'strong' referee and then you see the fixture and understand why. His team are still not even teenagers and he has this type of reputation. I find it so bizarre that a children's football match can provoke such behaviour from some people. It's quite sad.

Personally, I don't know how people have the time to be so invested that they're appealing every decision, I'm too busy trying to work out how long until my next set of subs and who needs to come off next etc.

 

[ChasObserverRefDeveloper]

How sad is this?
After observing last weekend, I went for a pub meal with my daughter and my grandchildren (boy of 10, girl of 7)
Grandson: "Which team did you support?"
Me: "Neither - I watched the referee and the two assistant referees"
Granddaughter: "Some referees are biased"
Me: "Who told you that?"
Granddaughter: "Our manager"
Daughter and I moved the conversation on, then two minutes later Granddaughter asked her mum "What does 'biased' mean, Mummy?"

 

[The Gump]

I

I've been a coach for a few years now and have been absolutely shocked at some of the things I've heard shouted from further down the touchline. I have twice removed by team from the pitch due to the language and aggression being displayed by one particular coach, sadly the reports made after the games have never got anywhere, but he's well known in our area. You'll often see clubs advertising for a 'strong' referee and then you see the fixture and understand why. His team are still not even teenagers and he has this type of reputation. I find it so bizarre that a children's football match can provoke such behaviour from some people. It's quite sad.

Personally, I don't know how people have the time to be so invested that they're appealing every decision, I'm too busy trying to work out how long until my next set of subs and who needs to come off next etc.

As a coach I absolutely SHOULD be invested, and as a parent I WANT my coach to be invested, not in any negligible and in the grander scheme of things unimportant impact of a referee, but in the development of children/my child as a footballer, teammate and individual.

As a coach I’ve never complained (except under my breath) about a referee or decision they’ve taken in my life, and I don’t do it as a parent either - and that pre-dated refereeing. Most parents and coaches get it.

Those coaches that don’t, and those parents who keep their kids with coaches that don’t, shouldn’t be allowed to ruin it for the majority, and the onus is on us as referees, as well as leagues, CFAs and FAs to deal with it.

All we can do is control our role in that process.

 

[BenS]

I

As a coach I absolutely SHOULD be invested, and as a parent I WANT my coach to be invested, not in any negligible and in the grander scheme of things unimportant impact of a referee, but in the development of children/my child as a footballer, teammate and individual.

As a coach I’ve never complained (except under my breath) about a referee or decision they’ve taken in my life, and I don’t do it as a parent either - and that pre-dated refereeing. Most parents and coaches get it.

Those coaches that don’t, and those parents who keep their kids with coaches that don’t, shouldn’t be allowed to ruin it for the majority, and the onus is on us as referees, as well as leagues, CFAs and FAs to deal with it.

All we can do is control our role in that process.

Oh I completely agree, maybe invested was the wrong word. I'm invested in terms of wanting the players to get the most out of every training session and match that they can. But I'm definitely not invested to the point where I'm dancing up the touchline, arms outstretched screaming at the ref for a handball on the half way line!

Right from u7 through to u13 we've had the outlook that we control the controllables; we can't control a referee's decision so we don't consider it any longer once it's made. It's kept us in games far more than those who can't get over a bad decision and spend the rest of the game appealing/moaning whilst we're working out how to win it.