Debating a misconduct report

[Padfoot]

Contrary to popular belief, putting on the black shirt doesn't mean you should be the subject of abuse, regardless of age. I accept that I'll be the person that people look to blame, but displeasure and abuse are two very different things. The fact that the OP is even considering a misconduct report means that a line has been crossed.

@Padfoot I started refereeing when I was fourteen, and whilst I had some terrible experiences with parents and coaches in particular, the majority were fantastic. Those experiences made me in to the referee I am today and meant that when I turned 16/18 and began to ref older age groups, I was prepared. The issue lies with the CFA's and their support networks, or lack of them. I was forced to abandon a mini-soccer game in my first season after a coach reduced me to tears; there's no doubt that was because I was so young, but that experience made me stronger. Unfortunately, my CFA were useless, the coach was charged and requested a hearing but the CFA messed me around so much, two cancelled hearings (an hour before) because of the manager being unable to attend, but they arranged a new one on my birthday, so they did it in my absence and refused to even discuss it with me. Pathetic, and I still resent them for that.

Put the right support networks in place and our young referees will thrive, fail to support them and we'll continue to lose referees as a result of vile abuse. I don't regret for a minute starting at 14, and would encourage every young referee to start at that age.

Basically, you were subject to abusve behaviour from an adult, which you were not mature enough to deal with.....entirely not your fault, you couldn't help being 14, however, the CFA and FA have a duty of care to ensure that minors are not subject to abusive behaviour.
The only way to guarantee that no minor is subject to it is to raise the minimum age to 18. Otherwise the potential will always exist for that behaviour to be visited upon a minor.

It's one thing for an adult to be abused whilst refereeing, it's an entirely different thing for a child to be abused in the same situation.

I agree that picking up the whistle doesn't mean it's open season for the idiots who like to shout and swear however, you do have to recognise that it does mean you become a focal point for people's frustration and displeasure, and that people will express that in different ways.
You have the tools in your refereeing arsenal to deal with that, however, whether someone has the mental toughness required to deal with is a different matter.
It takes a lot to realise that it is not personal and its just aimed at what you are wearing and the job you are doing.

Part of that process is to learn when to walk away from a situation. Engaging with spectators, especially parents, is normally destined to not end well. So don't do it. Don't put yourself in that situation.

 

[Matthew]

Basically, you were subject to abusve behaviour from an adult, which you were not mature enough to deal with.....entirely not your fault, you couldn't help being 14, however, the CFA and FA have a duty of care to ensure that minors are not subject to abusive behaviour.
The only way to guarantee that no minor is subject to it is to raise the minimum age to 18. Otherwise the potential will always exist for that behaviour to be visited upon a minor.

It's one thing for an adult to be abused whilst refereeing, it's an entirely different thing for a child to be abused in the same situation.

I agree that picking up the whistle doesn't mean it's open season for the idiots who like to shout and swear however, you do have to recognise that it does mean you become a focal point for people's frustration and displeasure, and that people will express that in different ways.
You have the tools in your refereeing arsenal to deal with that, however, whether someone has the mental toughness required to deal with is a different matter.
It takes a lot to realise that it is not personal and its just aimed at what you are wearing and the job you are doing.

Part of that process is to learn when to walk away from a situation. Engaging with spectators, especially parents, is normally destined to not end well. So don't do it. Don't put yourself in that situation.

I totally understand your point, but I'm not sure a blanket ban on anybody under 18 officiating would be the best way forward. Maybe raise the minimum age to 16?

I certainly didn't have the mental toughness when I started, being in the middle helped me to develop that; it takes a lot for abuse to get to me these days. Having said that, I don't think I would have had the required mental toughness at 18.

Perhaps all young referees should start with a year of academy football? It's a much more controlled environment and would allow refs to develop their skills in the middle, even build self-confidence. Obviously the behaviour of coaches/spectators will always be an issue, but with the right support networks in place there's no reason a 14 year old shouldn't be able to referee. Maybe the CFA's should hand down lifetime bans for abuse of minors? The abuse we get is bad, but it's disgraceful when it happens to a minor. Thankfully, though, these kind of things are less common than we might think.

 

[haywain]

I totally understand your point, but I'm not sure a blanket ban on anybody under 18 officiating would be the best way forward. Maybe raise the minimum age to 16?

I certainly didn't have the mental toughness when I started, being in the middle helped me to develop that; it takes a lot for abuse to get to me these days. Having said that, I don't think I would have had the required mental toughness at 18.

Perhaps all young referees should start with a year of academy football? It's a much more controlled environment and would allow refs to develop their skills in the middle, even build self-confidence. Obviously the behaviour of coaches/spectators will always be an issue, but with the right support networks in place there's no reason a 14 year old shouldn't be able to referee. Maybe the CFA's should hand down lifetime bans for abuse of minors? The abuse we get is bad, but it's disgraceful when it happens to a minor. Thankfully, though, these kind of things are less common than we might think.

Some good points there matthew, imho.

Not enough academy games to cater for the numbers of u14's who want to referee, I wouldn't have thought