The Ref Stop

Dealing with Parents/ Supporters

Redref34

Well-Known Member
Level 5 Referee
Hi all

I had an U18 county level game at the weekend. Went well considering I knew previously that the home team has a really bad disciplinary record.

The game was in a stadium… Late into the second half, I gave a free kick to the away team, easy free kick to give no doubt. The home player that I gave the foul against shouted a tirade of abuse at me.. I sin binned him and he went off, I told him not to speak to me like that, especially on a football pitch. Suddenly I get a comment from a nearby parent ‘that was dogshit ref’. Should I be reporting this? Up until now I was always told to ignore the crowd/ parents. I couldn’t really identify who it was specifically and have no way of telling which team it was for (assuming it was parent of the home team player). I just laughed it off at the time.

My question is do you ignore? Do you report after or not? Is there much that can be done about this? Should I have gone over and had a word with the parent / group near where it came from?

Thanks
 
The Ref Stop
Of course it you who was there, but, someone, shouting a tirade of abuse, is imo not guilty of dissent.
They are guilty of a red card offence.
You are there to officiate a sporting event, not to tolerate being abused.
If you find yourself abused, the laws allow you to deal with this, by issuing a red card. If we tolerate the abuse, we only have ourselves to blame.

dissent, is a show of disagreement
abuse, is an entirely different brand of baked beans.



Re the parent point, imo, thats absolutely nothing and certainly not advised to approach them.

am certainly ignoring this. Based entirely on the post
 
Last edited:
Hi all

I had an U18 county level game at the weekend. Went well considering I knew previously that the home team has a really bad disciplinary record.

The game was in a stadium… Late into the second half, I gave a free kick to the away team, easy free kick to give no doubt. The home player that I gave the foul against shouted a tirade of abuse at me.. I sin binned him and he went off, I told him not to speak to me like that, especially on a football pitch. Suddenly I get a comment from a nearby parent ‘that was dogshit ref’. Should I be reporting this? Up until now I was always told to ignore the crowd/ parents. I couldn’t really identify who it was specifically and have no way of telling which team it was for (assuming it was parent of the home team player). I just laughed it off at the time.

My question is do you ignore? Do you report after or not? Is there much that can be done about this? Should I have gone over and had a word with the parent / group near where it came from?

Thanks
The way to handle abusive/offensive/ insulting comments from a spectator at that level - assuming you know who said what - is to tell the home team manager/ coach what you want done about it.
They should involve the Respect steward to deal with it (Under 18's so should be one with each team)
Do NOT go across or respond to a spectator's comment yourself.
For an isolated stupid comment like this, from an unknown person, ignore it unless it becomes a regular feature.
 
If it is in the stadium then as far as I'm concerned the crowd doesn't exist. I don't hear them, I don't see them, it's just background noise.

If you can't do this, you'll have a long, stressful time ahead of you. - I've seen referee's who can't tune it out and they never do well until they can get over it (more or less).
 
Of course it you who was there, but, someone, shouting a tirade of abuse, is imo not guilty of dissent.
They are guilty of a red card offence.
You are there to officiate a sporting event, not to tolerate being abused.
If you find yourself abused, the laws allow you to deal with this, by issuing a red card. If we tolerate the abuse, we only have ourselves to blame.

dissent, is a show of disagreement
abuse, is an entirely different brand of baked beans.



Re the parent point, imo, thats absolutely nothing and certainly not advised to approach them.

am certainly ignoring this. Based entirely on the post

The key word there is "abuse." If he is shouting a tirade of abuse, then he is definitionally guilty of abusive language. Hence, he should be sent off.

To answer the original question, yes I ignore spectators if it is a one-off comment. Otherwise, I use the field marshal or team managers to manage the situation by saying that the behavioural issues must be dealt with by them before you allow the match to restart.
 
Back
Top