The Ref Stop

Criticism on Social media after the game

jamesb84

jamesb84

New Member
OK...bit of a new one for me. What would you all do about criticism on a teams Facebook page after the game?

To quote "that was some of the worst refereeing I've ever seen, well done for not retaliating after nearly having legs broken"

Also criticised a penalty I gave (against them - which their keeper saved) and one I apparently didn't give (because it wasn't a penalty).

I'm stuck in two minds...one to screen grab and speak to the RDO/CFA and one to brush it off.

I can take criticism generally pretty well, but this guy (the captain) refused to shake my hand at the whistle and gave me no opportunity to explain my decision for a penalty.

Not sure which of the two choices is right here...
 
The Ref Stop
Does it name you or can you be idenified? If so then you can not brush it off, and needs to be reported.

If it will leave you annon, then your choice to report or leave.

Personally, I'd at least firstly speak to the league with the thought that if they are not willing to do anything, then let the RDO know so that the county can do something. If League says will do something that you are happy with, make sure they do, or go to step 2.

Under no circumstances retaliate - NEVER! Don't lower yourself to their level of criticism behind the veil of the computer.

Caveat to all this being - do you think you had a good or a bad game / and or do they have a point? (just stating this as with out further info it's always an option, so not aimed at being personal or derogatory - either way it still has no place being on-line)
 
No, doesn't name me at all.

OK, context...this is my 4th ever game and I felt it was OK until I gave the Pen, which was clear to me as the defender (on this guys team) pulled back an attacker in the box. Clear pulling going on which definitely stopped the attacker from getting a shot away. No caution given, just the Penalty.

Penalty was cleanly saved and the keeper cleared it away.

This was the decision it all turned on. Until then, I'd been getting chippiness about not letting the game flow enough. After this, every decision I should have given.

The second half was OK, both sides came out with the usual "2 halves lads" "start as 0-0 boys, it's only 1 goal" so I figured it would be a better half, couple of careless challenges...nothing reckless in my view. Some 50/50's as well...when I started to let the game flow a bit it quietened down with the tiredness, but a couple of careless (and I really mean careless not a spot more) challenges went in. It was then that the captain started saying "could've broken his leg ref" and "you going to let them get away with it". I didn't really do anything other than a Collina style stare (it was a Collina in my head - not sure how it came across). Should I have spoken to him about dissent? I felt that this would escalate the issue into "you're just picking on us" style stuff...

Couple of their players shook hands with me at the end, couple didn't...captain didn't. One of his teammates said "you must understand why ref". Didn't think anything more of it until this Facebook post. Which another player has said "can't do much playing against 12" and "he obviously just didn't like us".

This is the first thing that has left me doubting why I signed up to this in the first place...I didn't give up my Saturday afternoons for crap like this which now stops me from enjoying my Saturday evening.
 
Couple of points:
- If it's me I'm in the ignore, block (if it's Twitter, I haven't the foggiest about Facebook) move on category.
- I avoid a a club's social media page after a game, it'll never lead to good things.
- If you feel seriously offended then I guess you can do something.
 
no probs - wasn't execting an explanation but thanks for it - it helps.

So, stating again - welcome to reffing!

A couple of thing I wish I had been told earlier than waiting to find out myself:

i) If the players play on, get over it, if they come running at you, its a yellow, if they go running after the guy that tackled, its a red (read between the lines). If only the guy on the gound is vocal, probs let him get on with it and play on.

A late whistle is better than an early one (same with flags for the AR).

Tackle goes in, in a way that breakes a LOTG, you are either going to a) blow, stop play, maybe YC, take 10 / 15 seconds to set up the FK, maybe a wall, check your OS line, blow and continue.....

or - b) see the foul, decide its a foul, count to three, do they still have the ball and be making their way forward in an advantagous way then either let them get on with it or THEN blow and bring it back to the tackle.

Option a) makes for a stop start game, option b) people may well appreciate the chance to flow.

The above goes out of the window if it is in the box, whereby it is either going to be option a), your choices are between options a), a) or a), or you will decide that the best option is a). (sounds likea scouser now)

ii) If no-one wants it, dont give it. ie ball goes out on the touchline, you think its a red ball, but blues pick it up, and no reds complain - let them get on with it. Goes out at goal line - if the defenders all run for a corner and the attackers move but you think its a GK, let them have their corner. The two players involved know what happened and their own team will go with that. Described as "No Suprises".

iii) In general it can get demoralising, but how much stick have you given the PL guys over the years, and if they had been privy to all of your comments, it might disharten them too, but they all had a 4th game at somepoint in their life, and then a 5th, and a better game, and a worse game, and an average season, a good season and probably a sh*t season too.

Yes, you signed up for this - rough with the smooth and all that. Sure if you put it in life terms - think abut jobs - crap week at work, did you quit? have good days and bad days, whilst you are learning (and passing the course does not make a you a referee, it means you are allowed to officiate - same as a dirivng licence does not mean you can drive, it measn that you can contol a vehicle and know the Laws of the Road) It takes expereience to lear the ups and downs.

I found in my first season, after each game, write down 5 decisions you got correct, 4 things you did well / correct, 3 decisions you got wrong and 2 things you will change for next time.

ie

offisde in the 3rd minute, hand ball in 20th, advantage in 42nd, offside 64th, YC dissent 80th

got there 45 before KO, chased teamsheets 20 before KO, got money before KO, caution and results done by 7pm

missed a late takle and played on, bottled out of a YC, let OS go through

move closer to GL for corners, will mention x to the captains before KO.

This way if you have the same things cropping up - you know where you problem is.

I ca continue if you'd like, or not as the case may be.

In the big picture - note the OP to the League, if not the RDO as yo see fit.
 
Thanks @HRW that's all useful stuff.

Interestingly, the last game (my third overall) I gave a penalty against the away side who were well in the lead and absolutely no complaints at all...equally as "stone wall" as this one...albeit with a tackle that was just clumsy rather than this pulling. The "no surprises" thing definitely works as it did in that game. The defender knew he'd dropped a clanger and he was just happy he didn't get a caution or sending off.

I've been doing that with the "lessons learned" thing...not necessarily 5 per game but things I've learned and put them into action for the next game. Stamped out the "missing Offsides" in the first game by getting my positioning right and keeping the CAR in sight, also reiterated the request for a good, obvious signal rather than a half-hearted flag (for all the good it seems to do!).

You're right about the rough with the smooth thing and of course it's not a "i'm going to quit" moment. I think the thing that got my goat was the fact that this guy wasn't happy, and rather than asking me about it at the final whistle he decided to go off and post it all over Facebook which gives me no opportunity to reply and explain the decision. Just struck me as being hugely cowardly and underhand.
 
Regardless of what you decide to do with reporting this, for future reference - a suggestion: as far as football is concerned, stay off Facebook. No good come of it. Not worth the hassle.
 
I also would not let the abuse you described above get to you. This can happen from time to time and the more you referee you will notice which teams are more prone for it. You will have days where you leave feeling like crap and 'why am I doing this'. Done that many times before. But then you have one game where the football was good and you had very little to do where you control everything and it brings you back to why you got your badge in the first place. Regarding the captain not shaking your hand at the end.....just ignore that, You will get some games where nobody shakes your hand its just the team not always against yourself. From what you described I think you did well. I would also advise reporting the comments but as many have said try stay off FB, I do it myself but if you can avoid it do so.
 
@Supermonkey totally agree. Think in total you would find maybe 2 recent relevent football related posts on my FB (some Academies have a nice monetry fine or removal from their system should you say anything!). So i've got nothing to read, so I don;t o looking for something either.

Would there be any affect on you if you didnt know it was there? (Does
 
HRW said:
@Supermonkey totally agree. Think in total you would find maybe 2 recent relevent football related posts on my FB (some Academies have a nice monetry fine or removal from their system should you say anything!). So i've got nothing to read, so I don;t o looking for something either.

Would there be any affect on you if you didnt know it was there? (Does
Click to expand...

Yeah, I don't post about football on my Facebook or Twitter...I ramble about enough inane nonsense without the ref stuff/football stuff on there! Interesting our Ref Trainer runs the academy and advised exactly the same...keep it out of social media.

Irritatingly my curiosity got the better of me today as I just knew there'd be something written...my own fault for curiosity.

At least it sounds like @Darren Paterson thinks I handled it OK. Didn't have my mentor there today so nice to get some feedback on what other refs think...

Thanks refchat...that, the nice bottle of red wine for me and the missus and 'The Spy Who Loved Me' on ITV4 has made it better.
 
Don't bother checking. I used to look for match reports after games in case some brilliant or awful decision was mentioned. I never found any.

My only poet match judgement comes from myself. I'm my own harshest, intelligent, critic. Clubs views on things will be woefully biased so not worth worrying about. But I would screenshot and report it. If only so they can remind the club of their responsibilities before they step well over the mark.
 
jamesb84 said:
I felt it was OK until I gave the Pen, which was clear to me as the defender (on this guys team) pulled back an attacker in the box. Clear pulling going on which definitely stopped the attacker from getting a shot away. No caution given, just the Penalty
Click to expand...

Mandatory caution
 
My advice: stop looking at team's social media; if you happen onto it then just ignore and move on. Compared to the violence that some referees end up getting, consider yourself to get off lucky with just a twitter strop.
 
Fb/ twitter
Bin it if your using it to seek out match reports etc
It will make you miserable and want to reply or report it .
So if a tree in a forrest falls and no one heres it does it make a sound
Get the meaning .but if it is worthy of a repot to the fa rdo do it
 
I agree. I tend to leave by the credo of:

If someone hasn't got the balls to say what they have to your face, it isn't worth wasting any time thinking or worrying about.

This goes double for keyboard bedroom warriors who post gibberish on Facebook.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top