A&H

Considering retiring at 20

T

tiest0

New Member
Level 5 Referee
Right now I feel so relieved that the season has come to an end. It's been a bumpy season, my first at L5 at the age of 20, and I haven't had the progress that most other new L5s have this season, even though most reports have been good, some have been outright awful. I feel that there are several other referees in the county, who were at my level or even below me at this time last year who have surpassed me, and who the county now have more faith in, some were also promoted to L4, and that is kind of disappointing, but also gives me an extra kick in the back, making me determined to come out better than them in the long run.

One part of me feels though that I really should call it a day and leave refereeing. It's taking up too much of my time, especially considering that I'm in uni, studying law. It's embarrassing to say, but for the last year I've probably been more obsessed with becoming a top referee than a top barrister, and I think I've spent more time focusing on refereeing/exercising/watching games than studying. My grades have been all right, not that awful nor excellent, I'm on course to graduate with 2nd class honours, but perhaps they could have been better if it wasn't for refereeing. The pressure on performing in school is quite high, though I have always coped rather well with that, but the pressure that I put on myself to perform on the football field is perhaps even higher. I see every assessed game as an exam where I really need to perform to the best of my ability, and I get disappointed when the assessor's mark isn't up to standards, often overshadowing what I do in school. As an example, I had an assessment this year where I got a 64, and the day after receiving the assessment, I got a school essay back on which I got 69%. I just glanced at the number and wrote it at the top of the essay document. I couldn't feel happy, considering the appalling assessment I had received.

At the same time, I just feel I can't leave refereeing for several reasons. After investing so much time and effort into this, most assessors, the county management, and referees both from the county and some I know from other counties know how dedicated I am and how much refereeing means to me. If I throw my kit and whistle in the rubbish now, I'd definitely see myself as a total failure, considering how I hate giving up, and I'm afraid others will do too, seeing me as the one "who tried harder than everyone else, but was bad, got burnt out and quit". Refereeing really is truly my only hobby in life and one of the few things I feel I'm reasonably good at, if I quit I'd be left with little to fill my weekends with. Most of my current friends are referees, I don't have the largest social circle outside of refereeing, though I could get closer to some friends in uni if I quit. Last but not least, there is the financial aspect. My match fees are a huge contribution when it comes to getting by, and a great way to top up my student loan. Now during the off-season I have to live off my savings and parents, and I'm not sure if I'll have enough to get through summer. Just imagine how it would be if it was like that the entire season... Of course there are other jobs than refereeing football, but you know what the part-time job market for young people is like.

I'm planning to just completely chill out during summer, try to not think about football or refereeing at all, but still work out to stay in shape, then, when the season approaches, I'll make a decision on whether I'm going to keep refereeing or not and if I do, what my level of ambition will be. I think that for my sake, if I were to carry on, I'd have to try to relax more, think that refereeing isn't everything there is and not obsess that much about performing. I'm not sure whether I'll be able to follow through on those plans though, considering how much refereeing performance and promotion, something that would be natural and expected from me next year, means to me.

Does anyone have any clever advice for me? I'm a little bit distraught at the moment...
 
The Referee Store
Firstly, enjoy your summer break and use it to re-focus and re-charge your batteries. I hope this will allow your obvious enthusiasm to return.

Secondly, I can't help wondering if you're trying to do too much, too quickly. It takes and great deal of commitment to move up the refereeing ladder, more than people realise. You're only 20 so you have many, many good years in you. While you are studying find a level of refereeing you are comfortable with and work hard within that level to improve.

Finally, I appreciate that the money is attractive in your situation but try not to let in be too big a motivation - it should only be a bonus for something you enjoy doing.
 
Personally, I think the season just gone is the first season since I've been refereeing where I haven't considered quitting at the end of the season. That's not an attempt to marginalise what you're feeling, but rather to highlight that the seasonal nature of football/refereeing does lend itself to regular periods of self-reflection, and obvious points where jacking it in seems like a real option.

My suggestion is very straightforward - give it time. There's no reason to let your fitness drop any more than you would in a normal summer (fitness is always good), and there's no benefit to binning or selling your kit now, so why force yourself to make the decision now? Give it a month or two, enjoy your summer and then when the time comes that you're being asked to make yourself available for pre-season friendlies, decide then. You could even do a few matches and see if you're still getting the same enjoyment out of it once you're on the pitch? I know that's been the case for me when I've been on the fence before - the thing that really made me commit was actually getting back out there.

And on a grander scale, give it time regarding promotion as well. As a L5 20 year old, there's absolutely no need to go a level per season - I'm a L6 27 year old and it's been made very clear to me that I can afford to go slower than that, so you've got a lot of leeway. If you need to take a season or two "off" (or only do the minimum required to keep your eye in) to focus on your studies, no league or CFA is going to object - and they'll gladly have you back on their lists in a season or two's time.

TL;DR: don't be afraid to slow things down and delay the decisions until after you've had a summer off.
 
No doubt others with more refereeing experience than I will be able to offer you more relevant advice.

But for what it's worth, you need to do what is best for you.

You clearly have a passion for refereeing, perhaps if you decide to keep going next season you could reduce the amount of refereeing that you're doing. Taking a step back and spending an extra season or two at level 5 to build on what you've already learned certainly won't hurt you.

If you did this you may find that some of your colleagues who have been promoted past you might end back at level 5 again if they weren't ready for their level 4.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
Some of what you are feeling is normal. It is ok to struggle for the first season that you do something, including being at a higher qualification of refereeing. If it is something that you enjoy doing but don't want it to take over your life, why don't you decide to only officiate twice a month? It means that you are still doing it regularly but have a bit more time. Enjoy the summer! If you are concerned about the poor reports then look back over them and think about what went well and what didn't. It will help you to become a better referee and maybe help you to do better and therefore enjoy it more next season.

No one can tell you what to do but they can certainly advise. Have you talked to your RDO about it all? They will be able to help and give a different perspective. I hope that you come to a decision soon
 
There are way, way too many lawyers and parasitic legal reps in this country. Give up the law rubbish and get yourself a proper career with a bit of honour and for the time being just carry on refereeing for enjoyment rather that progression and/or cuedos. I only went from Level 6-5 last season and I'm 49. You've all the time in the world.

There. I've said it. :D
 
wow, thats a pretty harsh self analysis, but one that indicates you certainly care about what you do.
personally i'd say that you should take into account your age... 20 years old with so much ahead of you. the time you have at uni is something that yes, you could get back by re enrolling if things dont pan out this time around, but why do that when you can pick up the refereeing education baton at any point.
treat the whistle as a hobby for the moment and not pressure yourself to rip through the levels, and i'd say that will eventually come, pass your legal exams and step things back up once theyre safely under your belt
 
2 offerings - The cream ALWAYS rises to the top.

You're only one bad injury away from being finished.

What am I saying? Take you time, enjoy being at 5 while you study. Your study will enable you to pay the bills later on. And as you allow yourself to relax while refereeing you'll read things better; see the flashpoints quicker and build up that e-word, experience. Consolidate and kick on; you may surprise yourself in how well you do.
 
You are taking this all way too seriously. It should be about you enjoying it and just letting things happen. As @GraemeS says, I think all of us have a moment of reflection at the end of the season, I know I do and right now I want to do anything other than referee. It's a hobby and not a career.

Your studies are more important - why not referee to enjoy it next season, take a year off the promotion hunt, and maybe do some mentoring or assessing and just enjoy it for a season? If I'm being frank (sorry) with a 64 to your name you will really struggle anyway, so perhaps it is just not your time. It can be done of course, just perhaps lower your expectations and relax.
 
I can completely empathise with what you're feeling, we all have that moment of self reflection at the end of the season and it certainly isn't a bad thing. What does come across in your post is your obvious enthusiasm for both the game in general and for refereeing; I sincerely hope that you stay involved in the game.

I've always been a L7 so I can't really comment in relation to the time commitments, but I am currently studying on the LPC and that, even as a L7, I simply don't have any more time to devote to refereeing than I already do. There comes a point in time when your studies have to come first and what I read in your post is that you don't feel that you're doing yourself justice at university because of refereeing. In a years time when you finish university and apply to do the BPTC, which I assume is your plan, you won't have the time to study and go for promotion/progress your refereeing career; that may come across as an exaggeration, but take it from somebody who studies 24/7, there aren't enough hours in the day. By no means does that mean you should retire, go out there and referee for the enjoyment of the game; I see refereeing as a hobby, and as something that gets me allows me to get away from study for a few hours on a Saturday and Sunday morning to do something I really enjoy. I really admire you for progressing to L5 at 20 years old, but you've got all the time in the world to referee; finish university and set up your career, then, if you still want to, start moving up the ladder again.

Don't rush in to anything. Take the summer off, get away from the game and university and re-eavaluate in August.
 
Monotone Whistle said:
You are taking this all way too seriously. It should be about you enjoying it and just letting things happen. As @GraemeS says, I think all of us have a moment of reflection at the end of the season, I know I do and right now I want to do anything other than referee. It's a hobby and not a career.

Your studies are more important - why not referee to enjoy it next season, take a year off the promotion hunt, and maybe do some mentoring or assessing and just enjoy it for a season? If I'm being frank (sorry) with a 64 to your name you will really struggle anyway, so perhaps it is just not your time. It can be done of course, just perhaps lower your expectations and relax.
Click to expand...

It sure sounds like some good suggestions, I want to remain involved in some way or another. But a 64 this season won't have anything to say for next season, will it?

My relationship to refereeing is almost comparable to a love affair or even a drug - once you get hooked, everything else becomes unimportant. It gives you immense pleasure at times, and terrible pain and stress on other occasions. I know not many referees see refereeing the same way I do, but it's exactly the same way a friend who's a footballer sees playing, school, work, even family becomes unimportant at times, in his quest for the ultimate successes. I think if I manage to reach L4 it will be easier to handle the stress and spend time on other things, as I then know I'm a slightly better than average referee, and that if I leave it there, I've reached a reasonable level.
 
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The last thing you need in your life now is level 4.

For a start this is your first at 5, you have plenty of time on your side and you need to establish yourself at that level.

More importantly, if you have these thoughts now, imagine being L4. At the mercy of a contrib appointment on a Tuesday night in December 100 miles away. L4 is going to bring more pressure, not less.

Just enjoy next season, don't be obsessed with promotion and enjoy the games. You have plenty of time.

A scarier thought is maybe @Padfoot is actually right about young referees being promoted too quickly :eek::eek::eek:
 
Painfully, I find myself agreeing with Ruffle!

I think you should continue with your refereeing but hold off on the promotion attempts at this stage. Whatever anyone says about refereeing, your 'real' job is far more important, until such time when refereeing IS your 'real' job! For you, right now, your priority HAS to be gaining a Law degree that enables you to progress through that aspect of life. L

As Ruffle says, L4 brings with a whole host of other 'c*ap' that you do not have time for right now. Whether that's regional NGS meetings, L4 national meet-up's, fitness test, 200 mile round trips on a Tuesday night (yes, I've done that, it's not fun and is killer!), a lot of time dedicated (that you don't have!) as well as all the stuff you're doing refereeing-wise already.
Additionally, and I know there's some that hate people refereeing for money, but you will be financially worse off as you'll be limited to FA-appointed games only (trust me, the last thing you want to do is inform appts officer you got injured doing a Sunday morning game and now have to miss 4 weeks).

Take your time, get used to and enjoy Level 5. When you finish uni, then go for 4. Or don't. You will make that decision at an appropriate time.

Because, and I'm talking from very bitter personal experience, there's plenty of time at L4 to fall out with people and be forced into retirement at a young age!!!!!
 
Agree with Dan and others, L4 would be a real problem for you at the moment. If you are struggling to balance work and refereeing as a L5, you sure as hell would be if you had got L4. You also suggest that you need the match fees to pay your way through university, which makes absolute sense, but you would probably get far less as a L4 than you would refereeing local league games as a L5.
 
I hear you mate, it can drain a lot from you.

I am at a good level, career (apparently) on the up and at a really competitive category. I had a solid season, done everything asked of me with respect to performance and fitness. Also had to deal with a few things that needed a lot of mental strength both on and off the field. I had my mind made up that I would perhaps walk away or re-categorise to a lower level if I did not progress, afterall if I couldnt progress having done everything asked of me then I'm not going to progress at all was my thinking.

Sure enough - I didnt progress, but then nobody from my category did! So I reconsidered my mindset and remaining. What I am really struggling with is my motivation. Expectation is high and I'm not sure I have the drive to do the same again to potentially not get anywhere yet again.

So I can sympathise with your situation to an extent - refereeing takes up a lot of my time when in fact family and work deserve it more. I am chilling out for 2 weeks and starting pre-season as planned. The friendlies will start to come in and I'll see how it goes. If I'm not feeling it at all then I need to re-evaluate and perhaps give someone else a chance.
 
Update: I've decided to keep going and refereeing. Throughout summer I've been through a thorough thinking process where I questioned my motivations and used the help of several friends, refereeing and non-refereeing. They made me realise that there's more to life than refereeing, and that "failure" as a referee does not mean failure in life. It's after all just a hobby which most of the people I'm "competing" against now will leave at some point without even reaching semi-professional level.

Season has started well - assessors have remarked how I'm more relaxed now than before, communicating more naturally and friendlily with players, and getting accepted for my decisions a lot more than before. Unfortunately I've made some KMI errors, but apart from that it's mostly been much better than last season, and I could potentially get promoted to L4 if I carry on - and want the promotion, but I'm actually not sure whether I do.
 
Good to hear it's working out. You have plenty of time to progress if a career in the game is what you want and even more time if it's going to be, like for the majority of us, your 'second' job. Good luck
 
@tiest0 - as someone who knows about refereeing and professional exams, treat refereeing as a hobby while qualifying. I am a Chartered Accountant, and post qualification, it was a greater stress relieving activity.

Once you you have achieved your job, refereeing will still be there. The law will provide you a good income for life, refereeing a few extra quid at the weekend. If you want to progress, then there will be options and the job you are planning to go into will allow flexible working - Joe Wirral, one of the first PL referees was a partner in a firm of chartered accountants, so it is possible to mix a professional career and refereeing.
 
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