Hi - putting this out there to see how others deal with it. A recent women's FA Cup game with me in the middle. My two neutral ARs were late to the game and I felt a little bit unsettled throughout in terms of not having had a proper pre-match briefing with them as I normally would cover tone/tempo/signals/fouls etc etc. The game was quite one-sided and afterwards I asked to see the Veo recording as was fairly sure I'd made a mistake with not giving a decision (DOGSO) in favour of the team that went on to heavily win anyway. I also wanted to review my positioning generally as had covered a lot of ground and want to work on my angles/proximity for future games etc. All normal stuff. But of course, the VEO picks up a lot of comments from the (winning) manager about me being the worst ref he's ever seen, etc etc. Mainly around the Dogso but also just low-level chirping about everything. I don't know my club marks but thought I'd done pretty well overall including playing two advantages that led to goals for the same winning team. Anyway - how do others park criticism and move on? Without the VEO I'd never have known all this but it's really bugging me and not sure why.
Comments on VEO - struggling to park them and move on
- Thread starter Athers
- Start date
This wonderful forum has taught me the art of selective hearing.
Many managers are going to abuse you for 90 minutes, not because of your performance, but because that's what they see on the tv or they need an outlet for their team's poor performance.
I think it's pretty easy to be focused on your game and not hear the noises external from the FOP.
But just remember the 3 P's (Personal, Public, Provocative) and of course OFFINABUS, if you hear anything and it ticks any of this criteria then send them on their way for an early bath.
Many managers are going to abuse you for 90 minutes, not because of your performance, but because that's what they see on the tv or they need an outlet for their team's poor performance.
I think it's pretty easy to be focused on your game and not hear the noises external from the FOP.
But just remember the 3 P's (Personal, Public, Provocative) and of course OFFINABUS, if you hear anything and it ticks any of this criteria then send them on their way for an early bath.
To a certain extent, you have to a level of self assurance.
Players, managers, club officials, spectators all have a view of your performance as a referee. They are conditioned by the media that all referees are rubbish and the behaviour of these groups towards officials is normalised.
You're not really there to impress the manager. If he thinks you werent very good, so be it. Sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong. They probably say similar about every referee they have.
To put it into perspective, I've had a game where I was told by a club official I was the best they'd had that season, despite me knowing I had a poor game and had cautioned the wrong player for an offence.
Take the comments with the pinch of salt that they deserve, reflect on your performance with your own eyes, (and the mute button on).
Players, managers, club officials, spectators all have a view of your performance as a referee. They are conditioned by the media that all referees are rubbish and the behaviour of these groups towards officials is normalised.
You're not really there to impress the manager. If he thinks you werent very good, so be it. Sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong. They probably say similar about every referee they have.
To put it into perspective, I've had a game where I was told by a club official I was the best they'd had that season, despite me knowing I had a poor game and had cautioned the wrong player for an offence.
Take the comments with the pinch of salt that they deserve, reflect on your performance with your own eyes, (and the mute button on).
cheers all. I think what's bugging me is that comments came from the winning manager so on reflection he's probably very hard to please and I'll move on. Making the 'mute button' my friend is a good idea! I do like Veo for development though. And I did screw up that foul/dogso decision which is maybe why I'm feeling rubbish about the game when really most of it was pretty good on second viewing. live and learn etc.
The saying 'you're only as good as your last decision' rings true in some ways. It isn't true at all in others.
If you've had a great game but got one decision wrong, that's the main one that people will remember. It doesn't make you a bad referee at all.
As others have said, park it and move on.
As the saying goes, if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen. The kitchen here is the video footage, but it could also be Twitter, fans forums, Facebook groups, etc. I don't mean that in a critical way, rather people are conditioned by the press and media to think that all referees are rubbish, so if you look back at footage or social media you are likely to see or hear negative comments even if you've had a very good performance.
Managers are the worst, usually because they copy those they see on the TV. The big difference though is they don't have the tactical and managerial skills of the top level managers, so when it doesn't go well they look for the easiest target to blame, which is obviously the referee. When I was managing I took one opposition manager to task after he spent first 60 minutes berating the young referee, who in reality had done nothing wrong. I knew that he played two very skilful central midfielders but who wouldn't track back at all, so I put an extra midfielder in and we hammered them. When I was totally fed up of his moaning I went over and suggested to him that rather than blaming the referee for everything he might want to put a defensive midfielder on as he was embarrassing himself. Caused a bit of a row but it needed doing.
Another example when I was refereeing, at full time Martin Tyler, who was the home team's assistant manager, walked over to us and said that the manager thought we were all hopeless but he thought we'd done very well. I know which opinion I respected the most, but just shows how two people sitting or standing next to each other for 90 minutes can have polar opposite opinions of the referee's performance.
Managers are the worst, usually because they copy those they see on the TV. The big difference though is they don't have the tactical and managerial skills of the top level managers, so when it doesn't go well they look for the easiest target to blame, which is obviously the referee. When I was managing I took one opposition manager to task after he spent first 60 minutes berating the young referee, who in reality had done nothing wrong. I knew that he played two very skilful central midfielders but who wouldn't track back at all, so I put an extra midfielder in and we hammered them. When I was totally fed up of his moaning I went over and suggested to him that rather than blaming the referee for everything he might want to put a defensive midfielder on as he was embarrassing himself. Caused a bit of a row but it needed doing.
Another example when I was refereeing, at full time Martin Tyler, who was the home team's assistant manager, walked over to us and said that the manager thought we were all hopeless but he thought we'd done very well. I know which opinion I respected the most, but just shows how two people sitting or standing next to each other for 90 minutes can have polar opposite opinions of the referee's performance.
Echoing the above, really. They talk a load of crap over the 90 minutes and while we can filter it out during the match, having it so blatantly afterwards does knock the confidence.
I was a late cover on a fifth-tier women’s game on Sunday. Ref had been Step 2 the day before, myself Step 4, AR2 Step 5 middle.
After a bog-standard foul against the home team, home coach says “this is why they ref at this level”. How completely patronising, not just to us three but to his own team (who won comfortably).
Proof they’ll say any old crap because they think it’s just what people say when a decision goes against them. They’re the same people who shake your hands and tell you that you’ve had a good game at 4:50 pm.
I was a late cover on a fifth-tier women’s game on Sunday. Ref had been Step 2 the day before, myself Step 4, AR2 Step 5 middle.
After a bog-standard foul against the home team, home coach says “this is why they ref at this level”. How completely patronising, not just to us three but to his own team (who won comfortably).
Proof they’ll say any old crap because they think it’s just what people say when a decision goes against them. They’re the same people who shake your hands and tell you that you’ve had a good game at 4:50 pm.
santa sangria
RefChat Addict
With NARs (and when you NAR) this is something to cover in the pre-match. If you know your AR1 then you probably already know if they are passive or active, if they will avoid hearing anything, and if they are able to deal with active benches. On higher level matches with great ARs it’s easier as expectations are clearer.
Yeah, they are clueless and often have a very highly inflated opinion of their own ability. After I’d refereed a step 3 game one of the managers said to me enjoy your game tomorrow morning ref, clearly meant as an insult. Bad timing for him, but my game the following day was live on TV, I should have left it but couldn’t resist a response of stick BT Sport on at 1pm tomorrow and you’ll what game I’m doing. Small victory but they all count (he didn’t need to know I was 4th official)
