Challenging match.

[Abeverley]

Hi guys.

Had my most challenging game so far yesterday and wondered if you could give me a few pointers.



It was a college league game so the players were between 16 and 18.

Both teams constantly were holding, pushing and committing niggly fouls.



Some I let go if possession was kept by the non offending team but most I blew for.



Every single whistle had half the pitch saying ‘what’s that for?’ And the other half saying ‘they’re always doing that’ etc etc.



Both teams were as bad as each other and seemed determined to whinge at absolutely everything.



I hadn’t had a match like this before and not sure I handled it well until in the second half I started being firmer and issued my first yellow card ever, this was dissent. After I blew, one play shouted loudly ‘**** off’. Not really telling me to do so, but I had had enough by that point.



Looking back I should have booked players earlier but nothing really stood out at dissent as such. I have thick skin and I’m not worried about them complaining as such, but when two teams are just determined to moan (and constantly foul) it put a bit of a dampener on the match which was quite good and fast paced.



I’m thinking I should have acted firmer at the start, let the players know that I won’t let things go and if necessary, get one in the book before it gets out of hand.

I didn’t feel my match control was compromised but I think I also found myself engaging with the players too much. They were constantly asking questions, which is fine but it was a bit distracting etc.



This was my 5th match.



Any thoughts and comments would be appreciated.

 

[QuaverRef]

You've hit the nail on the head really, you just needed to be firmer. It's very easy to have a constant back and fourth with players when they pose everything as a question. The good thing is you've come out of the game realising how it could be handled different.

Cards are key, but also remember the stepped approach. A big verbal warning to an individual for the whole world to hear to begin with, then use the captains and see if they can calm the situation. After that, cards are your best weapon.

Be careful with reaction to F off shouts. Although the language isn't acceptable, this will be regularly shouted out of frustration and may not be INOFFABUS. A little calming word with the player should suffice for that

 

[Abeverley]

Thanks for the reply.

With regards to the question, they aren’t doing anything wrong really; just annoying me.
How would you deal with that? Most of them were actually polite when asking questions.

Yeah, the F off was just a final straw really. I didn’t see it as INOFFABUS, gave a yellow for dissent to my decision.

I had to have a few words with players, and it seemed to work with that player but then other piped up lol. Never ending.

Because most of the whinging and questioning wasn’t dissent, how should I deal with that do you think?

Honestly, I’ve never come across too teams so determined to moan about everything.

 

[QuaverRef]

Thanks for the reply.

With regards to the question, they aren’t doing anything wrong really; just annoying me.
How would you deal with that? Most of them were actually polite when asking questions.

Yeah, the F off was just a final straw really. I didn’t see it as INOFFABUS, gave a yellow for dissent to my decision.

I had to have a few words with players, and it seemed to work with that player but then other piped up lol. Never ending.

Because most of the whinging and questioning wasn’t dissent, how should I deal with that do you think?

Honestly, I’ve never come across too teams so determined to moan about everything.

If it gets too much, just tell that exactly that. Or maybe pose it in a way such as 'I've made my decision, save any questions for HT/FT". I've never minded quick fire questions while a ball is stuck in a hedge etc as long as I've sorted everything I need to do (any cards, getting into position for restart etc). Some players genuinelly don't know why a foul was given but you can usually tell when they don't know or they are just trying it on.

Constantly asking questions and whinging after each decision is definitely dissent and that's where the captain comes in handy. Tell them the above "no more questions, save it for HT/FT" and let them deal with the players. If they continue to undermine you, book them

 

[spuddy1878]

16-17-18 Year olds moaning.........................................never.

 

[Abeverley]

Great stuff. Thanks.
I’ll do that next time.

I did a girls U16 match the other week and they had quite a few questions but they were genuine questions through not knowing the laws as well as perhaps they should. They accepted what I said and moved on.

I’ll defo get both captains in next time.
If I have one of these teams again I’ll mention it at the coin toss too.

 

[one]

Be careful with reaction to F off shouts. Although the language isn't acceptable, this will be regularly shouted out of frustration and may not be INOFFABUS. A little calming word with the player should suffice for that

Completely disagree. In the context of the OP I am happy with a yellow but if shouted in your face, even in frustration, it's a red.

 

[Nalbi]

I have one of these teams again I’ll mention it at the coin toss too.

I’ll be mindful of that if I’m honest, each to their own of course. While i know it can be very very hard not to come into a match with pre-determined mind set, you don’t want to start off the match by a telling off!

If you believe you must, use general comments rather than specific reflections relating to that team only.

 

[QuaverRef]

Completely disagree. In the context of the OP I am happy with a yellow but if shouted in your face, even in frustration, it's a red.

I completely agree with that but I was taking it as a mere shout out loud in the open. I'd be doing exactly the same if your example arises.

 

[one]

In regards to too many fouls (or too much moaning) I found this quote on the forum which should help.

"Refereeing a game is like riding a new horse. You keep a firm grip of reigns to begin with, as you don't know the horse or how it will behave.
If the horse settles down and is responding to your control, then you too can ease off and give it some slack. If however horsey is stubborn and tricky, you keep a strong grip on it throughout."

 

[Abeverley]

In regards to too many fouls (or too much moaning) I found this quote on the forum which should help.

"Refereeing a game is like riding a new horse. You keep a firm grip of reigns to begin with, as you don't know the horse or how it will behave.
If the horse settles down and is responding to your control, then you too can ease off and give it some slack. If however horsey is stubborn and tricky, you keep a strong grip on it throughout."

I like that.
Thank you.
Bit of a learning curve!

 

[Abeverley]

I’ll be mindful of that if I’m honest, each to their own of course. While i know it can be very very hard not to come into a match with pre-determined mind set, you don’t want to start off the match by a telling off!

If you believe you must, use general comments rather than specific reflections relating to that team only.

A good point well taken. Thank you

 

[Tino Best]

An early yellow for dissent normally shuts the little toe rags up. Questioning every decision is dissent and caution for it.

 

[Martiju]

A good point well taken. Thank you

Yes, personally I would keep the pre-match short and to the point. If you even hint that 'if x happens I will do y', they will jump on every potential argument that 'x' has happened and 'where's your consistency, ref?', 'you said...!', etc.

 

[GraemeS]

Thanks for the reply.

With regards to the question, they aren’t doing anything wrong really; just annoying me.
How would you deal with that? Most of them were actually polite when asking questions.

Yeah, the F off was just a final straw really. I didn’t see it as INOFFABUS, gave a yellow for dissent to my decision.

I had to have a few words with players, and it seemed to work with that player but then other piped up lol. Never ending.

Because most of the whinging and questioning wasn’t dissent, how should I deal with that do you think?

Honestly, I’ve never come across too teams so determined to moan about everything.

Yeah, I'd suggest considering if you should have utilised the stepped approach a little more?

I've got no problem giving a short (no more than 5 words) answer to the question of why a decision is given, but any response or disagreement with that answer is probably low-level dissent and should be treated as such. I'd immediately jump to a firm word in passing to tell them this isn't the time for a discussion, and if that doesn't do the trick, take the opportunity to hold the game up and give them a dressing down with everyone else watching. Once you've done that (and again with the captain involved if you're feeling generous or the temperature of the match has been fairly cool up to that point), no one will be surprised by a card if they player keeps making the same issue.