Body Language and Communication

[PinnerPaul]

Good advice above (as always!)

An area that's not been covered is the use of the 'preventative' word or words!

Especially at this age group they can expect evbrytime someone places hands in the back of oppo ist a foul - 'Hands on the back, isn't a push' , sometimes reduces or stops appeals for those.

Likewise 'Yes it hit his hand, but that's not deliberate handball'

As others have said shouts like 'Good challenge'; 'No foul there' demonstrate that you have seen the incident and made your decision.

I used to be very quiet, but over the years have found that, generally, talking to the players DOES help.

Interesting debate. I did an u21 game at the weekend and have been thinking about how I dealt with the verbals ever since. I'm a level 7 and it's my first season of 'full time' reffing, as opposed to playing most weekends and occasionally reffing to help friends teams out (I initislly qualified as a 15 year old in 1999 as a level 3, which was beginner level back then).

I've always tried to keep a good raport with players and communicate whenever possible and I consider myself pretty competent in heated situations (maybe cause I used to cause a few as a player, oops).

However, I showed 0 cards at the weekend, which has been the case in 10 of my 20 games this season (adult footy). One team gave me abuse throughout (as they did their own coach). I tried to manage it without cards, which often worked during the game, but there's a couple of players in particularly I shouldve sent off, never mind tickings off.

Thinking about it, it's really rather arrogant that I believe I can sort verbal issues without resorting to cards and i failed on Sunday to meet the standard required. Most importantly, ive learnt a valuable lesson and im therefore pleased it happened. A single warning and then straight to the pocket next time. Ive been trying to use strong body language and stern but clear language to stop verbals but it didn't work and i kept to that technique for too long. I also play advantage too long and despite telling myself not to I still find myself doing it. It'll come of course I just frustrate myself! I get good marks and I've had no real incidents of note at all this season but it's so important to accept your failings and attempt to learn from them, even if you're a bit thick like me and it takes a while.

Don't think you should be so hard on yourself or too rigid in your 'limits' - sometimes the dissent is so loud/obvious and/or the player needs calming down that a yellow card is necessary for a 1st offence. In cup semi recently, I gave a free kick for a handball on edge of area - defender loudly shouts at me, whilst moving towards me 'What part of the arm ref, WHAT PART' it needed an intervention to (try) and calm him down so I gave him a yellow.

Needless to say oppo score from the fk, which sets him off again, this time I pull him AND captain over to get him to calm down and point out the obvious consequence if he didn't - manager saw this and subbed him! Doesn't always work out like that for us refs - nice when it does. Don't forget at O/p's matches age groups most comps are now roll on, roll off subs, so a public word will often prompt a manager to haul off the problem player to calm down.

 

[PinnerPaul]

Thank you for everyone with your advice! I honestly mean that, it’s been great and no doubt helpful. I definitely plan to scribble some of these down for future reference (I’m a bit of a geek like that!) hopefully what I lack in experience I can make up for in presentation, and honestly grassroots football is a completely different ballgame to how you see profesional refs dealing with this at Prem, Champ, etc level which is what most people are exposed too. I am trying to catch some more Sunday league football and observing what techniques the more experienced refs use in adult games, and to see if any observations are transferable (probably more appropriate for older teenagers) One day I would love to do adult football, but that’s a few seasons off yet and maybe promotion but the more I get my behavioural style down the more I can stop worrying and really focusing on application of law. But again, all advice is massively appreciated! Thanks guys.
Btw, I really like the ‘group’ mentality here. A lot different from social media where you mention a referee and your mentions aren’t amazing to read.

'Dealing with it' at the top levels, generally means ignoring 99% of dissent!

 

[Ben448844]

Good advice above (as always!)

An area that's not been covered is the use of the 'preventative' word or words!

Especially at this age group they can expect evbrytime someone places hands in the back of oppo ist a foul - 'Hands on the back, isn't a push' , sometimes reduces or stops appeals for those.

Likewise 'Yes it hit his hand, but that's not deliberate handball'

As others have said shouts like 'Good challenge'; 'No foul there' demonstrate that you have seen the incident and made your decision.

I used to be very quiet, but over the years have found that, generally, talking to the players DOES help.


Don't think you should be so hard on yourself or too rigid in your 'limits' - sometimes the dissent is so loud/obvious and/or the player needs calming down that a yellow card is necessary for a 1st offence. In cup semi recently, I gave a free kick for a handball on edge of area - defender loudly shouts at me, whilst moving towards me 'What part of the arm ref, WHAT PART' it needed an intervention to (try) and calm him down so I gave him a yellow.

Needless to say oppo score from the fk, which sets him off again, this time I pull him AND captain over to get him to calm down and point out the obvious consequence if he didn't - manager saw this and subbed him! Doesn't always work out like that for us refs - nice when it does. Don't forget at O/p's matches age groups most comps are now roll on, roll off subs, so a public word will often prompt a manager to haul off the problem player to calm down.

Agreed. Probably due to the difficulty in communicating context on a message board, I'm being hard on myself but not doing so in a negative persuasion if that makes sense? I fully agree with your point regarding talking to players. I do that alot, I always appreciated it when I was playing to hear that the ref was aware of what was happening during the game. Most people can understand the decision then even if they disagree with the reasoning.

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Agreed. Probably due to the difficulty in communicating context on a message board, I'm being hard on myself but not doing so in a negative persuasion if that makes sense? I fully agree with your point regarding talking to players. I do that alot, I always appreciated it when I was playing to hear that the ref was aware of what was happening during the game. Most people can understand the decision then even if they disagree with the reasoning.

It's probably my communication with the players which is the root cause of my failure to caution persistent dissent. I've always found that common sense and being reasonable and approachable with people wins the day 99% of the time, I just feel like when you can't sort the dissent then I need to go to the card quicker in those very occasional circumstances. I've only carded players in 50% of my games this season and have never shown more than 2 for context.

Agreed. Probably due to the difficulty in communicating context on a message board, I'm being hard on myself but not doing so in a negative persuasion if that makes sense? I fully agree with your point regarding talking to players. I do that alot, I always appreciated it when I was playing to hear that the ref was aware of what was happening during the game. Most people can understand the decision then even if they disagree with the reasoning.

It's probably my communication with the players which is the root cause of my failure to caution persistent dissent. I've always found that common sense and being reasonable and approachable with people wins the day 99% of the time, I just feel like when you can't sort the dissent then I need to go to the card quicker in those very occasional circumstances. I've only carded players in 50% of my games this season and have never shown more than 2 for context.

 

[Twinblade]

Excellent advice here as always.

The biggest thing is being confident in what you do. A lot of it will come with experience. There is nothing wrong with taking a moment before issuing a caution/red card (just don’t leave it too long) to make sure you are giving the right decision. It can also help diffuse the situation.

What I found when I first started is that once you have refereed a team more than once you quickly learn what type of team you are officiating and who the potential problem players are. Some teams will start off with the usual comments but quickly quieten when they realise they won’t get anywhere. Others will be constant, but nothing more than friendly banter. Then there are the players you know will be on a short fuse from minute one, especially if it is a Sunday morning and they have been out drinking the night before. This gives you an advantage.

I also felt like others had said that I was big enough to be able to manage my way through a game without resorting to cards. After a few months I quickly realised, especially on Sunday leagues, players don’t understand simple chat and cautions were the only thing they did respond to (no-one likes having less drinking money). I had to send someone off this weekend in the first 15 minutes for a foul mouthed outburst that came completely out the blue because the CA gave the thrown in the wrong way. Some people just can’t be helped.

Forgive me, I cannot see if you have indicated where you are based? Speak to your local RDO, it might be that they have a mentor scheme and they might be able to assign you someone to work with who can watch and give you some pointers.

 

[SamSkywalker]

I must admit I’ve enjoyed reading the advice you’re getting here, Olivia. If I may just add some notes... mind that I’m a 25-yo in his 8th season into the business officiating division 6 adults in Spain... plus some u19, u16, and beyond on Saturday leagues...

Adults and kids are two worlds apart. When I officiate adults I tend to speak the bare minimum, and most of the things I say are platitudes, e.g. ‘I honestly think you’re the last man to play the ball’ as a response to a corner kick claim. One second after, they’re gone. If I really need to explain a decision, it’ll likely have to do with the recent law changes -imagine I dismiss a player for dogso-holding in the box. However, I’ve learnt that some humbleness may be appropriate at some point. Imagine you see a foul, wait a second for advantage, then you call it and right after the advantage appears. You’ll hear some protests... as long as they’re polite there’s no wrong in saying ‘8, my bad, you can’t feel as sorry as I am for missing this advantage’. Upside: when you’re serious about any thing you need to be serious about, they’ll take you at face value.

Meanwhile, I manage u16 and the like quite a different way. U19s are often ‘very young adult games’ or ‘very grown-up u16s pestering around’. Any way, u16s and u14s are to be handled with care due to the particularities of their age. Anything sounds way too aggressive nowadays, and parents tend to complain about everything their mollycoddled stars undergo. If you want their respect, I’d begin by being firm, authoritative if necessary. You can do it at the time you look relaxed and assertive. No need to raise your voice, no need to have a lotg debate on the field... just make decisions and keep the game flowing. If they pose reasonable questions, deal with them without conveying any trace of doubt. Firm hands without agitation, and control of personal space.

Last but not least, deal with their coaches. Some times they help us control their sides. Other times, they help their sides take control of us. In the later, grounds for an ejection are likely to come down the line. Use discipline in your advantage, for the onus is on you to control the game and its participants.

 

[kronell]

I just use my natural body language as it is hard to designate a new form of body language that is specific for certain game rules or event. It would be better to be vocal so I ensure that I practice speaking in loud voice always.

 

[Mintyref]

That's the right attitude to propel you a long way not just in refereeing but in life so stick with it and yes we are in way like a big family in here with minty and finest being the grandparents; yes we have our arguments maybe a bit rowdy and noisy at times but for the most of it we stick by each other.

As for picking up other techniques and observing other referees try doing the line on the higher decisions that's the ideal way to observe refs at work!

Cheeky pup, grandparents that wish they could give the grandkids a clip round the ear......you know you deserve it.

And as for @Olivia P, don't fret about it too much, it all comes with time and experience. Just try and speak to players the way you'd like to be spoken to yourself. That goes a long way to sorting your problems and smile....unless its a card that is....

 

[Sheffields Finest]

That's the right attitude to propel you a long way not just in refereeing but in life so stick with it and yes we are in way like a big family in here with minty and finest being the grandparents; yes we have our arguments maybe a bit rowdy and noisy at times but for the most of it we stick by each other.

As for picking up other techniques and observing other referees try doing the line on the higher decisions that's the ideal way to observe refs at work!

I could still match most on here stride for stride during a game, its the day after that got me!!! We all cant be loudmouth referees, it takes all sorts, watch the video of David Ellery addressing Tony Adams, he sounds like a posh vicar on helium!!!