A&H

Bad day at the office!

Apart from a few, most captains i encountered were just the most mouthy. I'd try but i was usually fighting a losing battle....They were often the ones leading the dissent thinking they were immune!!
 
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The Referee Store
Sometimes, the more you say, the worse it gets. Make a big effort to identify memorise your captains. Even if they're the two biggest morons of the clans, the cost of pulling those two numpties in is more than offset by the gains of pushing everyone else away. Explaining easily descends into squabbling. I make it sound easy; its anything but!!

That was exactly it mate, squabbling. When it got to the point where I just wanted the game to end I stopped bothering to explain and said the bare minimum to avoid the squabbles...this only seemed increase the level of grief I was getting 😂. Someone’s mentioned it before on another thread but players/lines can smell blood and they take full advantage.

Might go and watch a game or two next week to see if I can pick anything up from other refs.
 
Apart from a few, most captains i encountered were just the most mouthy. I'd try but i was usually fighting a losing battle....They were often the ones leading the dissent thinking they were immune!!

Yeah they were, my pre-KO chat was mainly around dissent and both gave the impression they’d help keep a lid on their players. As you said, they led it. Come the final whistle the worst offender couldn’t have been nicer, saying he appreciated how hard some calls are! Crazy.
 
I used to love banging a gobby Captain with a yellow, it definitely set your stall out that you weren’t taking crap. The joy on the big cherubs faced was worth the fee! They all thought that they could say mostly what they wanted!
 
That was exactly it mate, squabbling. When it got to the point where I just wanted the game to end I stopped bothering to explain and said the bare minimum to avoid the squabbles...this only seemed increase the level of grief I was getting 😂. Someone’s mentioned it before on another thread but players/lines can smell blood and they take full advantage.

Might go and watch a game or two next week to see if I can pick anything up from other refs.
Yup... i've mentioned the pack mentality and two sets of hyenas yapping at each other until they smell ref blood. I never speak to the players as a group before the game... waste of effort and anything you do say can be taken down and used against you
 
Me neither, generally wasted breath....captains and managers but not really the group huddle...

Thinking back though, i was once asked by a manager to give an away team a 30 second sermon before a game as they'd had a bad disciplinary record.

Did it...... and then booked 2 players for handbags inside the first minute!!!
 
Re: freekicks - make it ceremonial in the last 3rd and stop all that nonsense!

As for the rest of it, I never really had this but you do wonder why you bother. Sounds exactly the reason why cant be arsed to do OA - they just suck the life out of the match and my weekend.

They create the cancer let them rot in it and suffer games without refs .... did I mention I hate OA...

I totally understand your issue with OA, it can be a difficult place.

But today I had an OA game in South Yorkshire. Fantastic pitch. 2 good teams. One a team that's come from u21 football to OA and this was there first game in OA football. A team of reffed several times last year. Fast, technically good and obviously a fit side. The other team were much more experienced and defended very well and had 2 good strikers to hit on the break. A brilliant game, full throttle but fair. The more experienced team won by a single goal, with the other team hitting the underside of the bar with the last kick. I even disallowed a goal under the new handball/goal scoring oppurtunity law and after an explanation everyone was happy (half of them weren't aware of the new law). Handshakes all around after, no sin bins or cards and a very good, hard fought game which was great to watch.

I really enjoyed it. I just don't get as much enjoyment from youth football if I'm honest. Yes OA can be a cess pit for refs on bad days, but when it's good it's fantastic
 
Yup... i've mentioned the pack mentality and two sets of hyenas yapping at each other until they smell ref blood. I never speak to the players as a group before the game... waste of effort and anything you do say can be taken down and used against you

I've never understood why some people seem to want to get all the players together for a lecture before the game.

I'll have a chat and a bit of banter while doing kit checks etc, but even my chat with the captain's at the coin toss doesn't last more than 30 seconds, and most of that is me briefing my cars (I do this Infront of the captain's simply so I don't have to repeat myself and everyone hears the same thing.
 
I totally understand your issue with OA, it can be a difficult place.

But today I had an OA game in South Yorkshire. Fantastic pitch. 2 good teams. One a team that's come from u21 football to OA and this was there first game in OA football. A team of reffed several times last year. Fast, technically good and obviously a fit side. The other team were much more experienced and defended very well and had 2 good strikers to hit on the break. A brilliant game, full throttle but fair. The more experienced team won by a single goal, with the other team hitting the underside of the bar with the last kick. I even disallowed a goal under the new handball/goal scoring oppurtunity law and after an explanation everyone was happy (half of them weren't aware of the new law). Handshakes all around after, no sin bins or cards and a very good, hard fought game which was great to watch.

I really enjoyed it. I just don't get as much enjoyment from youth football if I'm honest. Yes OA can be a cess pit for refs on bad days, but when it's good it's fantastic

It was my second male OA game, my first (last week) was brilliant, got high marks from both sides (for what they’re worth). Loved having adult discussions during the game and a bit of a laugh at times, as opposed to feeling a bit like a teacher at times with junior football. I suppose I’ve just experienced the dirty end of the stick this weekend.

Was pretty dejected yesterday but I’m looking forward to putting the lessons learnt into practise next week.
 
It was my second male OA game, my first (last week) was brilliant, got high marks from both sides (for what they’re worth). Loved having adult discussions during the game and a bit of a laugh at times, as opposed to feeling a bit like a teacher at times with junior football. I suppose I’ve just experienced the dirty end of the stick this weekend.

Was pretty dejected yesterday but I’m looking forward to putting the lessons learnt into practise next week.

As others have said, pretty much everyone on this forum can sympathise - we've all been there. All you can do is take the lessons in what you could've done differently (get on the dissent early etc) and block out the rest.

A senior colleague gave me some great advice a few years ago - when you feel like you're losing control, 'kill the game'; get every FK taken from the exact spot, get everything on the whistle and just generally do what you can to slow things down (I've even held play to tie my laces in the past). This has worked many times for me because it takes the sting out of the game and generally calms things down. 5 minutes is usually enough. It won't always work, but it's worth trying.

Good luck for next week!
 
Greys won 3-2 in the end. Again I got the blame for the winner as the CAR was ‘incorrect’ awarding the throw to his own team, I went with him because he was 2 yards away and it was 50/50.

If you had CARs did they not help with the offside decisions? They may not be correct in all instances but at least they should be in a better poition to call them. Just make sure that you get in a position to check their honesty at least once or twice at each end per half (offensive free-kicks are ideal for this).
 
As others have said, pretty much everyone on this forum can sympathise - we've all been there. All you can do is take the lessons in what you could've done differently (get on the dissent early etc) and block out the rest.

A senior colleague gave me some great advice a few years ago - when you feel like you're losing control, 'kill the game'; get every FK taken from the exact spot, get everything on the whistle and just generally do what you can to slow things down (I've even held play to tie my laces in the past). This has worked many times for me because it takes the sting out of the game and generally calms things down. 5 minutes is usually enough. It won't always work, but it's worth trying.

Good luck for next week!
That would have been my suggestion for matches getting too hot...

Strangle the life out of the game. Blow for everything, no advantage, no quick free kicks, everything blade of grass accurate.

If they want to ruin your afternoon, the best you can do is ruin their game. Once they realise what you are doing, they should go back to playing football.

If you start doing this, then the moaners become easier to spot and sin bins become more obvious. If the captains complain, speak to both of them and say their players actions have resulted in you having to referee strictly to the laws. Make them aware their players actions have caused this from you.

@Eddie - each game is a learning experience. Work out where you could have been better ?stronger on offside complaints?, ?strong whistle for throwin decisions?.

I had a second louder whistle for Mass conf and when games got messy. Blowing that was deafening - players were aware of you more. Strong whistle tone to a great refereeing aid....
 
If you had CARs did they not help with the offside decisions? They may not be correct in all instances but at least they should be in a better poition to call them. Just make sure that you get in a position to check their honesty at least once or twice at each end per half (offensive free-kicks are ideal for this).

Protocol in my county is for CAR’s to call ball in/out only. Even that’s a challenge for some of them! TBH I’d probably prefer for them to help with offsides, I know that brings it’s own issues but I’d say it’s the lesser of two evils.
 
As others have said, pretty much everyone on this forum can sympathise - we've all been there. All you can do is take the lessons in what you could've done differently (get on the dissent early etc) and block out the rest.

A senior colleague gave me some great advice a few years ago - when you feel like you're losing control, 'kill the game'; get every FK taken from the exact spot, get everything on the whistle and just generally do what you can to slow things down (I've even held play to tie my laces in the past). This has worked many times for me because it takes the sting out of the game and generally calms things down. 5 minutes is usually enough. It won't always work, but it's worth trying.

Good luck for next week!

It’s good advice and I actually did do that for a spell, mate. A few tackles were flying in so I penalised the first ankle clip I spotted to slow/cool things down. Of course this was met with disapproval from the pitch & line because they were enjoying the flashback from the 80’s!

Again, the same with taking from the correct spot. Foul on the GK inside his box, caution to the offender, defender is taking it half way in his own half, tell them to get it back and must’ve had about 6 people pipe up moaning about it! ‘What are you playing at ref’ being one comment. I couldn’t believe it 😂.

The more I’m going over things the more I’m realising I was on a hiding to nothing from the off, to a certain degree. I ultimately didn’t help myself but that’s for me to sort.
 
Loved having adult discussions during the game
Err... maybe leave these discussions to the locker room!

I think the priority is to avoid squabbling left, right and centre. I think everyone has to figure out there own way of achieving this.
 
Err... maybe leave these discussions to the locker room!

I think the priority is to avoid squabbling left, right and centre. I think everyone has to figure out there own way of achieving this.

Not even during stoppages!?

Aye you’re right, responding to the moans only allowed them to drag on.
 
Not even during stoppages!?

Aye you’re right, responding to the moans only allowed them to drag on.
Yeah, apologies if I wasn't clear - when I said explain my decisions, I didn't mean get into discussions, I just meant clearly say why you have/haven't given the decision and move on.

If you've said nothing, it adds confusion and invites questions. If you explain a decision, the onus is on them to accept it and get on with the game. If you explain a decision and they start vocally disagreeing with what you've said, that's pretty much the textbook definition of dissent - start handing out some yellows and you'll either see them shut up, or get to the point where most of the team is stood on the sidelines and struggling to argue from that distance.
 
Protocol in my county is for CAR’s to call ball in/out only. Even that’s a challenge for some of them! TBH I’d probably prefer for them to help with offsides, I know that brings it’s own issues but I’d say it’s the lesser of two evils.

I know that it is quite common to use CARs for in/outs only up north, but I have found that getting them involved more helps. Thanking them for flags etc, all boosts their attitude and normally I find that games go far better when you have CARs helping you. Yes some will cheat, but very few in my experience.

I have tried games with and without CARs helping me and I know which I vastly prefer.
 
Sometimes, the more you say, the worse it gets. Make a big effort to identify memorise your captains. Even if they're the two biggest morons of the clans, the cost of pulling those two numpties in is more than offset by the gains of pushing everyone else away. Explaining easily descends into squabbling. I make it sound easy; its anything but!!
Yes, I explain generally, but if it encourages arguments then you have to shut it down quickly. 'I've given my decision, get on with it', whilst running to your next position can be a lifesaver, and shows confidence even when you're feeling shaky or uncertain.
 
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