A&H

Bad day at the office!

Eddie

Well-Known Member
Level 7 Referee
Well, I’ve just had my first ‘is this worth it’ game after 6 months or so officiating. OA league match where it seemed like every man and his dog was out to make my life as miserable as possible! So need to vent.

Trying my best to figure out where it all went wrong really, first 10 mins there wasn’t much to do, gave a clear pen with next to no complaints...then came the ‘OFFSIDE!!’ shouts. Explained to both defences, if it’s tight and I can’t see it’s offside I’m not giving it, and that it’s almost impossible to tell from behind, when it’s tight- I was consistent for both sides. Both both sides wouldn't have it. It was more moaning than dissent at this stage.

After that I can’t pinpoint the exact moment every single one of my decisions started being questioned but I lost control in the first half: easy ones, 50/50’s, balls in/out the CAR’s had called- they were all ‘wrong’ to whichever team I’d given it against. If I could pinpoint a moment where a player first crossed the line in reflection I definitely should’ve sin-binned someone. At the time though it literally seemed like everyone so who do you pick? I also had the feeling sin-binning someone wouldn’t have reduced the pressure cooker, I only would’ve got more flak.

One incident stands out and I still don’t know whether or not I was in the wrong.

Yellow attacking, fouled by grey about 25 yards out. I give the foul and grey 19 moans, I say ‘19’ and go to tell him that it was a clear foul and to get on with it, I wasn’t going to call him over. As soon as I said ‘19’ yellow took the FK and scored. I decided straight away yellows were entitled to take the quick FK and that it was a goal...que mayhem all directed at me. Was confronted by atleast 8 players all in an aggressive manner- basically what fergies Utd sides used to do! The captain sorts his lads out after 5 or so seconds of abuse and I explain they were entitled to the quick FK. 19 was arguing that because I mentioned his number I should’ve pulled it back...IMO it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference as 19 was still getting up when yellows took it. 2-2

I could’ve dished out reds for the incident easily. But in truth I couldn’t tell who was saying what! Plus after that I’m almost certain 1-2 reds would’ve resulted in a kick-off.

Greys won 3-2 in the end. Again I got the blame for the winner as the CAR was ‘incorrect’ awarding the throw to his own team, I went with him because he was 2 yards away and it was 50/50.

What I know went wrong:
-the moaning from players started off low-level, when it went beyond that everyone seemed to be doing it at a dissent level, but I’ll be taking a zero tolerance approach from now on. Letting it slide lost me match control. The captains were as bad as anyone for it.

-I should’ve gotten wider for potential offsides, I’m conscious this will catch me out of position for incidents the other side of the pitch but I’ll need to work on it.

-The grief I was getting 100% effected my confidence and decision making on the pitch. I was less authoritative. This led to a few minor things like not remembering who touched it last after I stopped play for an injury. Which only caused me more grief.

I was bullied today, simple as that which is the hardest thing about it as I’m not that type of fella, I wouldn’t have took it in a pub! But I’m sort of convinced I would’ve got a certain level of crap all game regardless of my approach. The managers hinted to it beforehand.

The only plus was me sticking with my offside calls. I stuck with not giving it unless I see it- despite the lip that resulted in that approach. Aside from that I gave what I seen really, which will almost certainly result in 1/10 marks from both teams today.

Advice would be appreciated on the quick FK. Pulling it back would’ve got me less grief off trey but yellow definitely would’ve kick off.

It was just a nightmare! 😂
 
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Re the free kick - you can’t change anything now, so don’t sweat on it, just do things differently next time.

I had something similar when a very well respected and experienced colleague was doing the line. After the game, he told me that if I want to speak to a player, go and stand on/near then ball so a team can’t take a quick free quick. Just be a physical presence to stop a quick free kick. Attacking side may moan that they can’t take a quick kick, but some times it helps to just cool the game down.

HTH

J
 
Good advice refjef about the freekick. was about to say the same. We all make that dissent mistake now and again but you have pointed it out so you learnt from it. You learn more from games like this than the easy ones. Chin up dont panic and yellow card for dissent a player spending 10 mins off will have an amazing effect.
 
If had similar issues....I learned.....low level dissent is still dissent. Deal with it with a stepped approach for each side.......
 
Re the free kick - you can’t change anything now, so don’t sweat on it, just do things differently next time.

I had something similar when a very well respected and experienced colleague was doing the line. After the game, he told me that if I want to speak to a player, go and stand on/near then ball so a team can’t take a quick free quick. Just be a physical presence to stop a quick free kick. Attacking side may moan that they can’t take a quick kick, but some times it helps to just cool the game down.

HTH

J

Appreciate that, mate.

To be honest I didn’t want to speak to the player, I was just going to give him a ‘get on with it’ esq comment as you do whilst passing. I would’ve been happy pulling it back if taking him to one side was my intention.

I honestly think that letting the quick free kick go was the right call. I don’t want to stop every quick FK just because it’ll cause me less grief...or should I!? Seems unfair to the attackers. As I said I would’ve lost either way in that situation I think.
 
To be honest I didn’t want to speak to the player, I was just going to give him a ‘get on with it’ esq comment as you do whilst passing. I would’ve been happy pulling it back if taking him to one side was my intention.

In future, do that then. Run by him and chat to him, don't call out his number and draw attention to it.

Also, keep your head up and pay the teams no mind. Get back in the saddle and if you need to, chat to your RDO about things, sometimes it is good to talk face to face and get through any lingering issues, but don't let that game bring you down. You're a good referee, so get back out there next weekend and take control of that game instead. Always keep moving forward.
 
Can identify with most of what you've said today as I'm sure most on here can. Similar experience today in my OA game, everyone claiming, in the back, off-side, no way off-side, our throw, no our throw. It's just habit in most players and teams to claim for everything and give the ref a hard time when he doesn't give the call their way. Sin bins are designed to change that, maybe a season of pain will sort it? In my game today I simply stopped play more than once to tell the players to stop all the strops and shouting. What did help today was the heat, it was a hot day. It enabled me around the 25-30 minute mark to give the players a quick drinks break. That instantly defused some of the pressure and helped me to keep things calmish. Thought I had a poor game, but then after the final whistle the players were saying how good a game I had. It's all a mystery this football malarky
 
Good advice refjef about the freekick. was about to say the same.

Likewise, this was going to be my advice - if you think its worth talking to him then get there ASAP. If you don't and the fouled team don't then happy days. In all likeliness if the fouled team think you need to have a chat, they're unlikely to take a QFK.
 
Well done for getting through and try not to get disheartened.

Handling dissent - how you recognise and handle the first dissent in a game is often key. It might be low level, 1-2-3 players questioning a decision, it might a dismissive gesture... just don't ignore it... if it's extreme enough use the cards, but at least take control, stop the game, give the warning, it's a ceremony, show everyone that you noticed it and you are ready to act.

Quick free kicks - if you get involved at or near the spot of the free kick, you should consider taking control and asking/telling it's on the whistle. In the end it's a balancing act about how much you are interfering vs match control if something bizarre happens. If you have to run in to the spot of the offence because of handbags, prone players etc. then make it on the whistle. If you don't have to interfere, then don't. Keep your distance, then a quick free kick is no problem. If a quick free kick is obviously taken from more than 2-3 yards from the offence and there is an big chance on, then consider blowing very quickly to stop the game to get it taken "from the right place".

Offensive, abusive and red card offences - it can be intimidating and confusing if lots of players are shouting or acting aggressively. In the end you can only act on what you can process. First, remember your whistle. If someone is shouting at you, your whistle is twice as loud, use it. If lots of players are coming at you, move away, it makes it much more obvious who is really out of control. If you can't take in more than one offender, concentrate on one, make an example.

Offsides with no ARs - I am a firm believer in getting really wide, especially at set pieces. But, big but, you have to be really confident, be as fast or faster than the players. I believe that you should practice the diagonal and sacrifice some weak side ball in/out when you have no ARs - others believe different. But, whichever, if it's too much, and you feel like you are constantly out of position, don't do it. Go back to a shorter diagonal, concentrate more on have the play in your view, try to get side on with high balls, and get good positions at set pieces. Do the basics, save the excessive running for another day!
 
It's easy to go into your shell when things aren't going well, but often I think the way to get away from that is to try and be more vocal in an effort to become a confident and visible presence. If players are appealing for fouls you don't intend to give, don't be tempted to quietly ignore the claims - shouting a loud "No foul" or "Nothing there" will look like you're making a decision, quietly ignoring them runs the risk of looking indecisive and inviting more pressure from the players.
 
I've found the sin bin to be really useful. Once used, other players then help you by telling their teammates to shut up.
 
It's easy to go into your shell when things aren't going well, but often I think the way to get away from that is to try and be more vocal in an effort to become a confident and visible presence. If players are appealing for fouls you don't intend to give, don't be tempted to quietly ignore the claims - shouting a loud "No foul" or "Nothing there" will look like you're making a decision, quietly ignoring them runs the risk of looking indecisive and inviting more pressure from the players.

This. I've become far more vocal over time. If and when the moaning starts I'll explain my decision and if they moan back I'll tell them that I've told you what I saw and if you disagree that's fine but it won't my decision,let's play on. From my playing days, if the referee looked like he coulsnbe influenced or was struggling then people would jump on it. You have to give the impression that you're comfortable and strong with your decisions, even if inside you're struggling with the match. It happens to all of us, but I always try to give the impression that I'm firm with my decisions.
 
I've found the sin bin to be really useful. Once used, other players then help you by telling their teammates to shut up.

In every game I've done this season I've explained how sin bins work to each team. The level of dissent I've seen had dramatically reduced so far this season and I put it down to this chat before the game starts. Obviously I'll tail it off now as teams become more aware of sin bins, but just the chance to talk about dissent between me and the players has been great and altered behaviour
 
Re: freekicks - make it ceremonial in the last 3rd and stop all that nonsense!

As for the rest of it, I never really had this but you do wonder why you bother. Sounds exactly the reason why cant be arsed to do OA - they just suck the life out of the match and my weekend.

They create the cancer let them rot in it and suffer games without refs .... did I mention I hate OA...
 
The best piece of advice I ever was given was by my coaching officer when I originally qualified. (His day job was as a superintendent in the police). He said that the most important decision you will make in a game is your first one. Blow your whistle loudly and for 2-3 seconds and then explain (Ioudly) what you have blown for. This sets the tone for all the players. In a vast majority of cases this works very well indeed as the players mindset is one of "OK, this guy is in charge".
 
Well, I’ve just had my first ‘is this worth it’ game after 6 months or so officiating. OA league match where it seemed like every man and his dog was out to make my life as miserable as possible! So need to vent.

Trying my best to figure out where it all went wrong really, first 10 mins there wasn’t much to do, gave a clear pen with next to no complaints...then came the ‘OFFSIDE!!’ shouts. Explained to both defences, if it’s tight and I can’t see it’s offside I’m not giving it, and that it’s almost impossible to tell from behind, when it’s tight- I was consistent for both sides. Both both sides wouldn't have it. It was more moaning than dissent at this stage.

After that I can’t pinpoint the exact moment every single one of my decisions started being questioned but I lost control in the first half: easy ones, 50/50’s, balls in/out the CAR’s had called- they were all ‘wrong’ to whichever team I’d given it against. If I could pinpoint a moment where a player first crossed the line in reflection I definitely should’ve sin-binned someone. At the time though it literally seemed like everyone so who do you pick? I also had the feeling sin-binning someone wouldn’t have reduced the pressure cooker, I only would’ve got more flak.

One incident stands out and I still don’t know whether or not I was in the wrong.

Yellow attacking, fouled by grey about 25 yards out. I give the foul and grey 19 moans, I say ‘19’ and go to tell him that it was a clear foul and to get on with it, I wasn’t going to call him over. As soon as I said ‘19’ yellow took the FK and scored. I decided straight away yellows were entitled to take the quick FK and that it was a goal...que mayhem all directed at me. Was confronted by atleast 8 players all in an aggressive manner- basically what fergies Utd sides used to do! The captain sorts his lads out after 5 or so seconds of abuse and I explain they were entitled to the quick FK. 19 was arguing that because I mentioned his number I should’ve pulled it back...IMO it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference as 19 was still getting up when yellows took it. 2-2

I could’ve dished out reds for the incident easily. But in truth I couldn’t tell who was saying what! Plus after that I’m almost certain 1-2 reds would’ve resulted in a kick-off.

Greys won 3-2 in the end. Again I got the blame for the winner as the CAR was ‘incorrect’ awarding the throw to his own team, I went with him because he was 2 yards away and it was 50/50.

What I know went wrong:
-the moaning from players started off low-level, when it went beyond that everyone seemed to be doing it at a dissent level, but I’ll be taking a zero tolerance approach from now on. Letting it slide lost me match control. The captains were as bad as anyone for it.

-I should’ve gotten wider for potential offsides, I’m conscious this will catch me out of position for incidents the other side of the pitch but I’ll need to work on it.

-The grief I was getting 100% effected my confidence and decision making on the pitch. I was less authoritative. This led to a few minor things like not remembering who touched it last after I stopped play for an injury. Which only caused me more grief.

I was bullied today, simple as that which is the hardest thing about it as I’m not that type of fella, I wouldn’t have took it in a pub! But I’m sort of convinced I would’ve got a certain level of crap all game regardless of my approach. The managers hinted to it beforehand.

The only plus was me sticking with my offside calls. I stuck with not giving it unless I see it- despite the lip that resulted in that approach. Aside from that I gave what I seen really, which will almost certainly result in 1/10 marks from both teams today.

Advice would be appreciated on the quick FK. Pulling it back would’ve got me less grief off trey but yellow definitely would’ve kick off.

It was just a nightmare! 😂
Life as a 'grass roots ref', is encapsulated very well by your post
The 'stepped approach' is fine, equally there are as many occasions when it needs bypassing. The 'pack mentality' in football can be brutal
Also, we know when we're not having a good game. That's disheartening and distracting itself, but add in fatigue and relentless pressure from omnidirectional verbals and the layman is left completely ignorant of how difficult you've described it. Cards work better than words in my experience because sometimes the latter can make it worse. We're in trouble when we're considering the consequences of every decision; over and above just getting each call correct
 
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It's easy to go into your shell when things aren't going well, but often I think the way to get away from that is to try and be more vocal in an effort to become a confident and visible presence. If players are appealing for fouls you don't intend to give, don't be tempted to quietly ignore the claims - shouting a loud "No foul" or "Nothing there" will look like you're making a decision, quietly ignoring them runs the risk of looking indecisive and inviting more pressure from the players.

Cheers for the advice so far guys, more reassuring to know I’m not the only one to have one of them games.

In terms of being vocal, that wasn’t an issue for 70mins...i constantly explained my decisions (I was getting bored of it), problem was the resulting back chat was distracting me from the game itself. It was incessant, players wouldn’t let things go- ball in/out, FK’s, offsides- the lot. I don’t even think I was getting that much wrong tbh.

I know that the above is easily sorted with C2’s, so will apply that from now on. Was just a bit of a shock to the system at the time!
 
Cheers for the advice so far guys, more reassuring to know I’m not the only one to have one of them games.

In terms of being vocal, that wasn’t an issue for 70mins...i constantly explained my decisions (I was getting bored of it), problem was the resulting back chat was distracting me from the game itself. It was incessant, players wouldn’t let things go- ball in/out, FK’s, offsides- the lot. I don’t even think I was getting that much wrong tbh.

I know that the above is easily sorted with C2’s, so will apply that from now on. Was just a bit of a shock to the system at the time!
Sometimes, the more you say, the worse it gets. Make a big effort to identify memorise your captains. Even if they're the two biggest morons of the clans, the cost of pulling those two numpties in is more than offset by the gains of pushing everyone else away. Explaining easily descends into squabbling. I make it sound easy; its anything but!!
 
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