Story cut short - Had u-14 game today, one of players had previously bullied my brother and therefore we had had arguments in the past, with threats (but never escalating) towards violence. I didn't let this effect my game and saw him as a usual player and he respected i was the referee and in charge and i had no problems with him in the game, but it made the game very on edge and difficult for me as i didn't want to be seen as biased because of our past, should i let the situation slide and have that team again or should i inform my appointments officer to not assign me this team again, bear in mind the game was clean and the past didn't affect it to much, however i did hear him saying some things before the match which proved him and his team were all on edge, and may have lead to a tricky game had i made a bad decision within it.
Awkward Situation
- Thread starter KaiSant
- Start date
Paul March
Well-Known Member
Put it out of my your mind, as you progress you will always come across people who you recognise and who recognise you. Leave your personal life in the changing room. Players will respect you for it
I'm guessing you're not very old (under 18?). As such I would let the Ref Sec know about the issue and let him decide. If you referee this player in the future, you know and he knows, so neither of you will do anything stupid or you'll both have the book thrown at you.
Well done for getting through yesterday and keeping the lid on what could have been a difficult situation.
A Freethinker
RefChat Addict
Listen, you are a referee throughout your career you will encounter people who you send off and people who you disagree with. In this situation you have proved that you are professional in how you handled the situation and as long as you keep your integrity on how you deal with this individual then what is the issue? Are you going to tell your Ref Sec every time you send someone of or threatens you that you don't want to do their teams? Handle every situation the same way, you refereed the match there were no issues, next time do the same. You will always get the 'this ref hates us' comments etc so don't let it annoy you.
Well done on your professionalism and keep up the good work.
Well done on your professionalism and keep up the good work.
Paul March
Well-Known Member
You will also get ' last week the ref (insert any number of moans from list a below) and all we ask is for (insert from list b below)'
List a
Gave a free kick for pushing when there was no contact
Didn't send opponent off for swearing
Gave a penalty for......
Didn't give a penalty for .....
Cautioned one of our players for.....
Let the other bench get away with......
Added too much time on...,,
Didn't add enough time on for....
Let us wear black undergarments with our white shirted tops
Didn't let us wear black undergarments with our white tops
Ignored bad tackles
Was the worst we have ever had
List b
Consistency
Fair crack of the whop
Protection
Strong referee
Talk to us
Don't talk to us
Not to be busy
Cut out swearing
Allow a bit of contact
No contact
I am sure this list can be added to. It is a rather long winded way to say you will hear it all at some point. Don't take much notice, remember next week you'll be last weeks ref somewhere
List a
Gave a free kick for pushing when there was no contact
Didn't send opponent off for swearing
Gave a penalty for......
Didn't give a penalty for .....
Cautioned one of our players for.....
Let the other bench get away with......
Added too much time on...,,
Didn't add enough time on for....
Let us wear black undergarments with our white shirted tops
Didn't let us wear black undergarments with our white tops
Ignored bad tackles
Was the worst we have ever had
List b
Consistency
Fair crack of the whop
Protection
Strong referee
Talk to us
Don't talk to us
Not to be busy
Cut out swearing
Allow a bit of contact
No contact
I am sure this list can be added to. It is a rather long winded way to say you will hear it all at some point. Don't take much notice, remember next week you'll be last weeks ref somewhere
A Freethinker
RefChat Addict
I love seeing players at matches who I know should be playing and saying what's wrong with you (knowing they are suspended) and them going "you wouldn't believe it but last week I did a two footed challenge around this guys neck...the ball was there and he only lost an ear but the ref sent me off!"
This week I guy I knew played said to me "suspended mate, last week went in for a tackle and this guy headbutted on the side of the head..I was really dizzy from it he caught me a cracker, and I just started punching his head in left him on the ground in a heap of blood and the ref sent me off, surely he should have sent the other guy off?" I asked did he see the headbutt? He said "no his back was turned but he caught me kicking the guys head?" I just laughed and walked away!
This week I guy I knew played said to me "suspended mate, last week went in for a tackle and this guy headbutted on the side of the head..I was really dizzy from it he caught me a cracker, and I just started punching his head in left him on the ground in a heap of blood and the ref sent me off, surely he should have sent the other guy off?" I asked did he see the headbutt? He said "no his back was turned but he caught me kicking the guys head?" I just laughed and walked away!
Cheers mate!
Yeah, this sounds like a very good approach and is very true, thanks for the advice
Yes i am only 15, and thanks mate for the advice, I think because this match went smoothly and as other people have said i will put it behind me and leave my personal life out of it as i tried and don't let it affect my refereeing, cheers again!
Thanks you for this, what you said does make the most sense, there was no problem, so no need to worry about it unless something did happen because of it. And that is very true i try my best and as my experience grows i will realise everyone will say some bad things, ive just got to ignore it, cheers for the reply!