The Ref Stop

Allocated to a match where you personally know players

R

Rye87Ref

New Member
Level 7 Referee
As the title states, I have been allocated a game which involves a team who one of my best and oldest friends now players for. There are also a couple of aquantances who play for the team.

Not that I am questioning my ability to cross the white line and be completeltly impartial, but the thought of it does make me feel somewhat un-easy.

I am wondering if this has happened to any of you before and how you dealt with it.

Any advice would be appreciated.
 
The Ref Stop
I have many years ago had to referee a few games for my son's team. This was due to me turning up to watch, which normally involved me being press ganged into being a CAR, only to find no ref.
Felt uncomfortable and I ended up giving any 50/50 decisions against his team as I did not want to be accused of bias.
As you know this is happening in advance I suggest you ask ref sec to swap you onto another game and not to allocate you to your friend's team in future.
 
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Me personally I am contacting the ref sec and explaining the situation and asking to be moved to a different game and not be allocated the team in question again.

More hassle than it's worth.
 
Ask to be swapped. It's just putting you in a difficult situation.

Imagine if your friend is genuinely fouled for a winning penalty. Which you rightly give. It turns out after the game you're best mates. Away team will focus on that rather than the good game you had and the correct decision.
 
As everybody says, ask to swap games.

While your judgement, etc may not be at issue, consider the "what does it look like" to another party.
 
It's not just about impartiality - it can also bring the friendship into question. From a refereeing perspective, the LOTG state (or at least, the Australian one does) that referees must not just 'be fair', but must 'be seen to be fair'. A close relationship jeopardises this. Odds are your friend will respect your position and won't even make it apparent that you know each other, but it's still an awkward situation - especially if you make some tough calls against him. Asking to be taken off the appointment shouldn't be an issue at all - it's not a good position to ask you to be in.
I have refereed people I've been close to, even family members (as an official referee, but due to a lack of other suitable referees). But I know there are people, even friends, who I would ask to not referee.
 
I think it depends on the regular level of harassment you receive. I referee with a lot of players I know by sight and have played with or against over the last 10 plus years in similar divisions. For me it is an advantage to know a little about the atmosphere, abilities and expectations of the players.

For me there was no option. I felt I had to it to demonstrate my ability to be impartial and handle different personalities. I have yellow carded a close friend for language and ended a game on a foul throw by one of my all time great ex-teammates.

I learnt quickly that some characters will try to get close and commentate to try and gain some advantage. You can spot it a mile off. I tell the players at the start that the laws apply to everyone. And any overly chummy commentary gets a swift rebuke. I would draw the line at family though!
 
I think something like this, where tuts clearly going to be a one off, then you're right to come off the fixture. I personally won't come off my first fixture of the season where I know a few players because if I do, I won't referee at all this season. I go to easily the largest school in the area so lots of players in the local league are fellow pupils.
 
I'm refereeing my best friend's brother's team next week in a cup match.
No question of being impartial, if anything, I'll go the other way.
I'm looking forward to having a captain that might actually work with as opposed to undermine me.
If it were a cup final or semi I might decline, but christ, Sunday league?
 
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The game is in the county senior league, not Sunday league (sorry not updated my level on my profile). I have been taken off the game and was thanked for my honest comments.
 
As a player and referee I've been involved in local grass roots football for nearly 30 years. Consequently, every game I referee I expect to know one of more players or club officials to a greater or lesser extent. I really don't think this has ever compromised my neutrality and I've never thought of asking to be removed from a particular fixture. Could be a slightly different scenario with a close relative (child, brother, sister, partner) where it might be advisable to alert your local league/association at the start of the season and tehreby avoid fixtures with any such teams.
 
I have two teams that I don't referee due to being "too close" to some of the players and I like others have informed my ref sec not to appoint me to these games. I find that one of the main things is that they will undoubtedly call you by your name and not ref which immediately gets the opposing teams back up. I always remember as a player if the other team used the ref's name it was so annoying.
 
...our online system has a checkbox tool where we can block any teams. It also automatically blocks a team if we are registered to play with them. I always block my brother-in-law's team. But I have officiated many games in their division.
 
santa sangria said:
...our online system has a checkbox tool where we can block any teams. It also automatically blocks a team if we are registered to play with them. I always block my brother-in-law's team. But I have officiated many games in their division.
Click to expand...

Blocking teams? That sounds amazing. Can you just block nuisance teams as well?
 
deusex said:
Blocking teams? That sounds amazing. Can you just block nuisance teams as well?
Click to expand...
Yeah, we can do that. It has been known for some people to block nuisance teams. Connected with the OP though, dealing with all kinds of teams, no matter how difficult they might be, or if you know the characters or not, has to be part of the challenge of officiating. The best referees I have seen can radically alter their style to handle different teams in different games e.g. going from zero tolerance for any comments to the ref, to holding court in three languages!
 
ive refereed my old team last season ... I decided to go ahead with it and like a few have said 'use it to my advantage' I knew the team, their habits etc etc. they ended up winning 5-0 and having a penalty their way too! away manager asked if I knew them (as my old manager was chatting to me after the game) I just told him that id refereed them a fair few times before!
 
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