Aggressive Player

[JRef]

I had a game on the weekend (Blue vs Red). Blue made a very bad challenge on red and a foul was given, I cautioned as a result and then instantly knew I should have gone for red - lesson learnt on that one.

The player still protested over a yellow and was clear;y very angry - he later kept complaining about decisions and all so could have sin-binned him but after speaking to him he cut it out. When we were both walking back ready for a goal kick, he was about 5-10m away and did not take his eyes off me once. I think he was trying to intimidate me as he knew that I had seen what he was doing and continued. He then shouted, "You okay?" in a confrontational way rather than a genuine concern. Looking back I probably should have cautioned him for adopting an aggressive attitude but in all fairness, he was a big guy and I am only a small 17 year old. I felt too scared to stop play and call him over about his attitude since it was aggressive towards me.

I feel like because he spent most the game trying to intimidate me and as a result I was too scared to give the decision, I let the red team down as i was not in control, what should I have done differently in order to prevent this and at what point is it that i am okay to abandon the match?

 

[es1]

you know what you should have done differently...you said you should have given him a red not a yellow for the tackle and subsequently a sin bin for dissent or yellow for adopting an aggressive attitude

next time, be big and brave and do what you know is right and a lot of these issues will disappear

 

[Max2]

Find the captain/manager, hopefully get them on your side, and just bin him off.

 

[socal lurker]

Good advice above.

It doesn't sound like you were near a point to abandon--the problem was one player and you need to address the problem with that player.

 

[wazztie16]

I had a game on the weekend (Blue vs Red). Blue made a very bad challenge on red and a foul was given, I cautioned as a result and then instantly knew I should have gone for red - lesson learnt on that one.

The player still protested over a yellow and was clear;y very angry - he later kept complaining about decisions and all so could have sin-binned him but after speaking to him he cut it out. When we were both walking back ready for a goal kick, he was about 5-10m away and did not take his eyes off me once. I think he was trying to intimidate me as he knew that I had seen what he was doing and continued. He then shouted, "You okay?" in a confrontational way rather than a genuine concern. Looking back I probably should have cautioned him for adopting an aggressive attitude but in all fairness, he was a big guy and I am only a small 17 year old. I felt too scared to stop play and call him over about his attitude since it was aggressive towards me.

I feel like because he spent most the game trying to intimidate me and as a result I was too scared to give the decision, I let the red team down as i was not in control, what should I have done differently in order to prevent this and at what point is it that i am okay to abandon the match?

If you had cautioned and not restarted play, for future reference you can change your decision.

Re the difference in size etc, I think the best you can do is either bring the captain or manager in, explain the situation calmly and manage it in that way. That's what I would be looking at.

I know the feeling of having to sanction a player you really don't want to for the above reason.

I had to do it to a player like that after about 5 minutes for a reckless challenge.

Neither of us were happy

 

[Anubis]

Very difficult sell esp for one so young but as above, the option was there to change to red
is it possible you rushed into the sanction with best intention of defusing something or exerting control?
if so, then thats the lesson, replay the tackle in your mind before reaching for the card
with the added privision that even having gone yellow, you could have changed it to red, ( again as above had the gane not restarted)

sounds no reason to abandon, you have between your personality, whistle, cards, sin bin, plenty to tools in the box to cope with the player.
you with experience will use them to their full effect as you mature and gain confidence

 

[Kes]

If you had cautioned and not restarted play, for future reference you can change your decision.

Very difficult sell esp for one so young but as above, the option was there to change to red

Are we suggesting to the OP that after showing the yellow, he should then be seen respond to this players indignation and complaints by then changing his mind and pulling out the red? Not sure that's good advice at all.

Match control straight out of the window ...

Unless of course I'm reading that wrong (?)

 

[Anubis]

Are we suggesting to the OP that after showing the yellow, he should then be seen respond to this players indignation and complaints by then changing his mind and pulling out the red? Not sure that's good advice at all.

Match control straight out of the window ...

Unless of course I'm reading that wrong (?)

No, upon realising the yc was incorrect.
" i cautioned but instantly knew i should have gone red"

granted it dont state how he knew, i have taken the post to read he himself knew yellow was wrong

given the age and inexperience involved, it can be a hard sell. but more positively, the awareness looking back that the decision was wrong will stand him in good steed

and if that was the case, you absolutely change yellow to red
you do not leave a player on the field of play who should be dismissed

the match control is more at risk from you leaving a player on the park who should be off than it is from a messy handling of the sending off

to realise you have erred, and be brave enough to correct it, is surely a huge boost to your match control.

its the correct call we all crave afterall, players and officials

 

[Kes]

No, upon realising the yc was incorrect.
" i cautioned but instantly knew i should have gone red"

granted it dont state how he knew, i have taken the post to read he himself knew yellow was wrong

given the age and inexperience involved, it can be a hard sell. but more positively, the awareness looking back that the decision was wrong will stand him in good steed

and if that was the case, you absolutely change yellow to red
you do not leave a player on the field of play who should be dismissed

the match control is more at risk from you leaving a player on the park who should be off than it is from a messy handling of the sending off

to realise you have erred, and be brave enough to correct it, is surely a huge boost to your match control.

its the correct call we all crave afterall, players and officials

Irrelevant.

You don't pull out a yellow on a player, and then after his "victim" moans and complains suddenly pull out a red instead!!

Too late. Rightly or wrongly, once you've (mistakenly) shown the yellow, the damage is done. In the scenario described, there is no way he could do as you've advised and remain credible. (IMO)

 

[one]

A lot of good advise above. Some I don't agree with and some I can't see. So I may give you repeats or conflicting advice here.

I had a game on the weekend (Blue vs Red). Blue made a very bad challenge on red and a foul was given, I cautioned as a result and then instantly knew I should have gone for red - lesson learnt on that one.

Just want to makes sure we are on the same page in terms of what the lesson learnt is. For me the biggest lesson to learn out of this is that for some incidents you need thinking time to decide. Don't take the card out straight away. A good way to buy thinking time is, once everything is calm, to walk to your AR for a short chat. If you don't have AR, use the time you spend to calm the situation for thinking. If players are on the ground spend a bit more time to check they are ok. Get a captains for talk (buying thinking time is the point here). Do what you can to delay the decision for the sanction to think a bit more. Then call the offender over and take the right card out.

The player still protested over a yellow and was clear;y very angry - he later kept complaining about decisions and all so could have sin-binned him but after speaking to him he cut it out. When we were both walking back ready for a goal kick, he was about 5-10m away and did not take his eyes off me once. I think he was trying to intimidate me as he knew that I had seen what he was doing and continued. He then shouted, "You okay?" in a confrontational way rather than a genuine concern.

It's good that you attempted to 'manage him'. However even though you say he 'cut it out' this tells me your talk to him didn't have the desired impact. In reality he didn't cut it out, he simply switched to a more clever way of protest. In time you will learn interpersonal skills on how to maximise the chance of a complete 'cutting it out'. Simply put you don't need to change his mind on what the right decision was. That the two of you can still be in disagreement but it is in everyone's (mostly his) best interest to put it behind you and get on with it.

Another technique is to give the decision, give the card , get the details and get away quick in a way that doesn't give them a chance to react towards you. E.g. go in a different direct. Speed up... etc.

Timing of when to 'manage' a player, when to card, when to sin bin, when enough is enough, knowing if your leniency is making any impact etc is another skill that comes with experience. In the mean time keep all these in mind and use your instinct. If your instinct tells you talking to him is pointless and bin him, go with it.

Looking back I probably should have cautioned him for adopting an aggressive attitude but in all fairness, he was a big guy and I am only a small 17 year old. I felt too scared to stop play and call him over about his attitude since it was aggressive towards me.

I feel like because he spent most the game trying to intimidate me and as a result I was too scared to give the decision, I let the red team down as i was not in control,

This is the hardest one. You should be able to makes decisions without fear or favour. I can tell you to be brave, have courage etc but extent of these type of attributes are either part of a person natural personality or build up over time. If you are put in a position that you are (or not) making decisions for fear of safety I would question the appointment to the game. Many a time younger forum members come here asking if they should do OA games. Most advise is, its a different kettle of fish. Get more experience under your belt first.
So my advise here is you need more time to be able to deal with these situations. If you find yourself in a similar situation, then talk to your appointments officer to get lower grade games. Another way is to have mentors present. That gives you the confidence that you have someone there to help you if safety issues arise when you make the right decisions.

what should I have done differently in order to prevent this

Deal with it early. The longer it goes the harder it is to deal with it. At first protest to a decision quick talk. Second time, a firm blocking, next one is a sin bin. Obviously you can go straight to sinbin or even red if the first once warrants it.

at what point is it that i am okay to abandon the match?

We have had topics on this in the past. My view (and not everyone agrees with it) is that as soon as you realise you are knowingly making wrong decision because of fear, it's time to abandon. Unfortunately you would be blamed for letting it get to that point.