A&H

After Rough Game

JBeil

Active Member
Level 5 Referee
I've had an absolutely dreadful game Sunday afternoon, no football being played by one team - they simply tried to foul their opponents at every opportunity and they were awful to try and work with. With that in mind, what do you do to help clear your mind afterwards and get you excited for the next weekend?
 
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Just know that next week won't be as bad!

I've always liked the phrase Shut up, Move on (SUMO). Sunday has gone and next week is another opportunity to go out and enjoy yourself
 
As the member above says, move on. The players involved won't be worrying about it now. Their minds will be on who they're planning to kick and abuse next week. You can only work with what's in front of you on the day mate. Put it behind you. :cool:
 
I've had an absolutely dreadful game Sunday afternoon, no football being played by one team - they simply tried to foul their opponents at every opportunity and they were awful to try and work with. With that in mind, what do you do to help clear your mind afterwards and get you excited for the next weekend?
I'd hope to get them again next week.... I was always the one to complete the Panini sticker album at any cost!!! They want to play silly buggers then I'm here to oblige the FA collection pot!!!
 
I've had an absolutely dreadful game Sunday afternoon, no football being played by one team - they simply tried to foul their opponents at every opportunity and they were awful to try and work with. With that in mind, what do you do to help clear your mind afterwards and get you excited for the next weekend?
Talk to your appointments secretary and let him know you want an easier game for next week. And don't feel bad asking for it.

As an appointment officer of my RA I used to get those requests every now and then and I was more than happy to comply. Also as a general practice, if a game has multiple send off's, abandonment etc which reports go to the RA secretary, the appointment officer is informed and the referee is put on easier games the following week.
 
Self reflect on the match - or share more detail here for feedback. One team may have been intent on kicking merry hell out of the opposition, but how did you handle it? Did you apply the stepped approach with individual players? Did you involve the captain - perhaps warning that the next player to commit a foul on his team will be booked, regardless of what they had (had not) done before? How many yellows did you issue, any reds? Sunday afternoon - was this OA or youth? Did you slow play down at all, blowing for every minor offence - the barest of infractions - until they got the message?

Looking back on your game like this doesn't mean you're beating yourself up - its to make next week's game easier to manage. Learn where you could change your style, your approach to certain scenarios, and then try them out.
 
I've had an absolutely dreadful game Sunday afternoon, no football being played by one team - they simply tried to foul their opponents at every opportunity and they were awful to try and work with. With that in mind, what do you do to help clear your mind afterwards and get you excited for the next weekend?
Try to learn from it. My hardest game was a massive test but I’ve learnt more from that than any of my recent fixtures put together (they’ve all been extremely easy and uneventful). In fact I’m hoping I get more difficult situations again. Also, speak to someone who has lots of experience to help you know what to do next time
 
My ethos was to let them fear you rather than you fearing them... They all knew I had a **** side, it was up to them whether that side was brought out. Always liked the banter and fiesty games more than the choir boys games... Used to love to hear the team talks explaining my reputation to the teams! They can't say that they weren't warned!!!
 
I don't mean to sound unsupportive here, but did you deal with it on the day? Did they pick up cautions for reckless challenges, dissent, etc? Sometimes it can seem like the easiest thing to let them get away with it, but they will just do it week and week again if that happens, and you won't feel too good after the game.

The reason I ask is this used to drive me round the bend as a RefsSec. I'd get comments in match reports with phrases like "worst behaved team ever", then I'd look further down the form and see there wasn't a single caution in the game. Not saying that was the case here, but it definitely happens.

I'm generally quite laid back when it comes to cards, but on occasions where teams have pressed the button I've responded accordingly. If that means they get 10 cautions then so be it, and I think I still hold the most records in county cup finals with 9 yellows and a red to one team. They didn't want to play, wouldn't listen to reason so I used the only thing available to me, the things in my pocket. I only mention this as, for all it wasn't the most enjoyable of cup finals, I certainly felt better after it than I would have done had I let them get away with it.
 
I don't mean to sound unsupportive here, but did you deal with it on the day? Did they pick up cautions for reckless challenges, dissent, etc? Sometimes it can seem like the easiest thing to let them get away with it, but they will just do it week and week again if that happens, and you won't feel too good after the game.

The reason I ask is this used to drive me round the bend as a RefsSec. I'd get comments in match reports with phrases like "worst behaved team ever", then I'd look further down the form and see there wasn't a single caution in the game. Not saying that was the case here, but it definitely happens.

I'm generally quite laid back when it comes to cards, but on occasions where teams have pressed the button I've responded accordingly. If that means they get 10 cautions then so be it, and I think I still hold the most records in county cup finals with 9 yellows and a red to one team. They didn't want to play, wouldn't listen to reason so I used the only thing available to me, the things in my pocket. I only mention this as, for all it wasn't the most enjoyable of cup finals, I certainly felt better after it than I would have done had I let them get away with it.

Sounds very much like a Cheshire County Cup final I played in in 2003! We had 6 booked and a red and we won the game! More cards than we'd received in the entire season in one day and I think 5 were in the space of the last 5 minutes!

As for the OP. I don't think about it at all until I get in the bath and run through it on my own later in the afternoon. I find that doing all my thinking about the game in the same place helps me to compartmentalize and the forget it straight after. 80 games in now and I rarely give any incidents a second thought. You soon become immune to things and accepting that you've made mistakes and that's ok, just think of how you'd deal with it next time and then make sure you do it. Works for me anyway
 
That's pretty crazy that a team would get to a cup final and decide to ruin it for themselves like that...
Finals change people. Some of the craziest things I have seen in football have happened in finals... take zidane for example..
Dont know if you follow rugby, maybe last season, grand final, player of after 10 mins for punching another player.
Players get wound up on final day and sometimes the emotion of it all comes out the wrong way.
 
That's pretty crazy that a team would get to a cup final and decide to ruin it for themselves like that...

I don't think anyone had been able to lay a glove on them on the way to the final, but there they came up against one of the top Sunday teams in the country. Didn't go their way so they reacted in the wrong way. Incidentally both teams then moved into Saturday football, the offending team initially did well but seem to have disappeared, whereas the winning team are doing very well and I suspect will be in supply league footballer sooner rather than later.
 
I was the go-to ref for such games so they became the norm for me. My card count was initially quite high, but fell substantially as we all understood what was going to happen should they play up. I had my habitual offenders but it became funny later as they get actually tried to behave, sadly 90 minutes is a long time for most to do what they did wrong!
 
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In retrospect I should have handed yellows out for a number of incidents, but hindsight is 20/20, and if I get a game like that in the future I know to stop trying to keep players on the pitch and focus on keeping the players safe. At least four cards could have gone out for dissent, before we even start thinking about the way they were knocking lumps!

I've decided that I'm going to ask for them again soon - if no senior referees are available, better me than some sixteen year old, and I'll be wise to their crap again!

One positive though, I've had a lovely message from the game I did that morning. I was told it was probably going to be the hardest one I'd done yet, but they rated me as the best they'd had this season, and said I controlled the game well! Well, if I can manage some hungover sunday amateurs on a thawed-out pitch, I'm not going to let myself get intimidated or deflated by a pack of fourteen year old boys and a prat in a tracksuit who thinks he knows better than me how to do my job! Thanks for all the support and feedback, I'm raring to get back onto the pitch now!
 
I h ad a cup final 2 years ago under 14s the winning team had 5 yellows by the end, in that league only 7 yellows were issued that season and 6 of them them were from me. I was quite new but didn't do many games at that age group it might have been only 2 games in retrospect. At youth use your cards as you would in OA
 
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