Advice for a 15 year old referring an u18’s game

[dylanbailey4444]

I know now that I’m not suppose to be referring u18’s at this age- the game is this evening and I’m prepared to do it. I was just wondering anyone with any tips generally, or especially on handling the foul language. I don’t get offended by any of it but was just wondering as the oldest I’ve referred is u16’s so far (I know I shouldn’t have, again!) and that wasn’t so bad. No bad language towards me. But of course in u18’s the language can be a bit more ripe and I was just wondering how I should handle it. I usually handle it by giving the player a sin bin. Any advice generally or even about the language?
Thank you!

 

[JamesL]

There isn't really an exact science here mate. Some of it boils down to your own tolerance levels but some you have your hands tied.

If you hear bad language then you have options.

1) in some cases it can just be ignored. Example: frustration at themselves. Low level swearing. Maybe a quiet word ont he move
2) you can give them an almighty. B*llocking with the captain present. Example: your language is unacceptable. It's send off offence to use offensive insulting and abusive language and you were very close to that. Consider this a warning.
3) send off
4)im going to chuck in a caution (yellow card/booking) here too as it might not be offinabus language but it may be unsporting behavior such as aggressive attitude (which included some expletives).

Anything linked to race, religion, sexuality, gender identity etc. Needs to be dealt with appropriately and reported.

Personally, I don't get too worked up over swearing because I have a potty mouth myself.

Anything that starts with "you are a....." or directly at a person is where it becomes a problem.

And as on the other thread you can only use the sin bin for dissent. Dissent is disagreement or public protest at your decision as the match official. So if matey calls another player a see you next Tuesday sin bins are not an option. It must be dissent either by word or action at you, not any other player/person.

 

[JamesL]

And also, I would seriously consider whether you do the game or not.
The club that have appointed you could end up with a fine for appointing you if it is found out you aren't the required age which whilst you think is unlikely, if things do go south on one of these games and any investigations happen one of the things the FA will want to know is who was reffing the game and you could be called as a witness.

Not to mention the safeguarding issues it potentially presents too.

 

[socal lurker]

@dylanbailey4444 Unless you have a lot of experience reffing ages close to this, I would strongly recommend you decline the opportunity; and even if you've done a bunch of 16's, I'd still recommend you pass. I speak from experience (albeit from long ago--but I still remember it vividly). My dad accepted a game for me that was older than I was (I think it was a 16U game when I was 14). Fortunatley for me the teams (and especially the coaches) were well behaved, as I quickly realized I was out of my league--not just in things like foul language or man-management, but in recognizing what a foul really was at that level. It's a big transition as you get to the older ages. There is lots of time for you to progress. Being badly over your head is really not fun.

 

[dylanbailey4444]

There isn't really an exact science here mate. Some of it boils down to your own tolerance levels but some you have your hands tied.

If you hear bad language then you have options.

1) in some cases it can just be ignored. Example: frustration at themselves. Low level swearing. Maybe a quiet word ont he move
2) you can give them an almighty. B*llocking with the captain present. Example: your language is unacceptable. It's send off offence to use offensive insulting and abusive language and you were very close to that. Consider this a warning.
3) send off
4)im going to chuck in a caution (yellow card/booking) here too as it might not be offinabus language but it may be unsporting behavior such as aggressive attitude (which included some expletives).

Anything linked to race, religion, sexuality, gender identity etc. Needs to be dealt with appropriately and reported.

Personally, I don't get too worked up over swearing because I have a potty mouth myself.

Anything that starts with "you are a....." or directly at a person is where it becomes a problem.

And as on the other thread you can only use the sin bin for dissent. Dissent is disagreement or public protest at your decision as the match official. So if matey calls another player a see you next Tuesday sin bins are not an option. It must be dissent either by word or action at you, not any other player/person.

Thank you! The game went quite well and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Pretty much what I was expecting with the foul language and what have you!

 

[dylanbailey4444]

@dylanbailey4444 Unless you have a lot of experience reffing ages close to this, I would strongly recommend you decline the opportunity; and even if you've done a bunch of 16's, I'd still recommend you pass. I speak from experience (albeit from long ago--but I still remember it vividly). My dad accepted a game for me that was older than I was (I think it was a 16U game when I was 14). Fortunatley for me the teams (and especially the coaches) were well behaved, as I quickly realized I was out of my league--not just in things like foul language or man-management, but in recognizing what a foul really was at that level. It's a big transition as you get to the older ages. There is lots of time for you to progress. Being badly over your head is really not fun.

I’ve only just seen this, I’ve done the game now. It went well and I really enjoyed it. Thank you!

 

[Redster]

Hey mate,

Good job on sticking at it and taking on the opportunity. That being said, I agree with the others on the risks.

I have a number of junior referees who are appointed to senior matches, however on those matches they will be supported by senior, highly qualified ARs. There can be a difference between gaining experience and opening yourself up for abuse.

That being said, it sounds like you are already in the habit of reflecting on your performances and do not take things too personally. Welcome to the club!

 

[one]

Hi @dylanbailey4444
Good job and well done. Further support for the views above from me. One or two games going well is not an indication of how they would usually go. Most of us (maybe all of us) get a game every now and then that get out of hand even though those games are meant to be within our capability. Thankfully those are infrequent and we somehow mange to get over them.

At 15 doing games of older or open age groups, games getting out of hand will be frequent and getting over them much more difficult, set aside the "child protection" factor. "Quick progression" and financial gain is just not worth the risk.

Years ago when I used to appoint for my association I had a call from a 16 year old 1st year member. On the ground he had just finished playing, the next game was O35 game and they had asked him to referee it. He asked me if he can do it. The teams told him they are well behaved and he said his mum is there to watch over him. I asked him not to do it representing our association. If he does he will not get paid for it (we charge clubs directly and pay our members). He wanted to do it as a personal favour without wearing our uniform which I strongly recommended against.
A couple of hours later I had a call from his mum thanking me for not letting his son referee the game. They stayed and watched the game refereed by another unofficial, with two all in brawls and a few send offs.

 

[Kes]

To be completely honest, I find the idea that any U18's football team or coach having an unqualified 15 year old "officiating" their matches quite shocking. ...

 

[one]

There is no game without a ref. They don't play the game so we can referee it. We referee so they can play the game. So if there is a shortage of referees and someone is willing to help, they should be appreciated and helped on how they can without breaching guidelines.

 

[Kes]

There is no game without a ref. They don't play the game so we can referee it. We referee so they can play the game. So if there is a shortage of referees and someone is willing to help, they should be appreciated and helped on how they can without breaching guidelines.

The "advice" fell on deaf ears.

All guidelines were breached.

Not a slur on the youth, but from an objective point of view it shouldn't be happening, nor should it have.

 

[one]

The "advice" fell on deaf ears.

All guidelines were breached.

Not a slur on the youth, but from an objective point of view it shouldn't be happening, nor should it have.

So the solution is to get personal?

 

[Kes]

So the solution is to get personal?

I can't see where he really got "personal" mate. (He hasn't said the word "you" or typed the member's name)

From where I'm stood, he's simply stating his own opinion and a few facts.

Again, kudos to the youth for stepping up to it (in spite of advice to the contrary) but for me, it's a failing on the part of the adults - none of whom involved seem to be taking due responsibility.

 

[one]

I can't see where he really got "personal" mate. (He hasn't said the word "you" or typed the member's name)

From where I'm stood, he's simply stating his own opinion and a few facts.

Again, kudos to the youth for stepping up to it (in spite of advice to the contrary) but for me, it's a failing on the part of the adults - none of whom involved seem to be taking due responsibility.

Let's say I am refereeing a game. A couple of decisions in a row a players disputes my call. Nothing serious, a quite warning. My next decision, in my earshot, he tells his team mate he'd rather a spectator rather than a sh** cu** referee his games. Nothing directly about me or to me. How would you expect me to handle this?

"Someone proclaiming to be a referee" is not offensive, but confrontational and personal all the same to me.

 

[Kes]

Let's say I am refereeing a game. A couple of decisions in a row a players disputes my call. Nothing serious, a quite warning. My next decision, in my earshot, he tells his team mate he'd rather a spectator rather than a sh** cu** referee his games. Nothing directly about me or to me. How would you expect me to handle this?

"Someone proclaiming to be a referee" is not offensive, but confrontational and personal all the same to me.

Poor analogy there to be honest.

We're sliding off-piste here anyway so I'll leave it there my Aussie chum.

 

[lincs22]

@dylanbailey4444 - As I have said on the other thread, you should not be doing any match older than U14's regardless of whether they don't have a referee. While you haven't completed the course yet, you will be registered with a CFA. So could be charged with a breach of regulations personally.

Both clubs are also in breach of letting you referee - so they could be charged for the breach of regulations and possible breaching safeguarding requirements. Additionally, if anything serious happened on the game, where would that place you legally. The FA insurance won't cover you, the clubs own insurance for their players may be invalid.

I know, that this may be hard to hear - but doing such a favour to help out my cause greater problems. You sometime have to say NO.

 

[RustyRef]

@dylanbailey4444 - As I have said on the other thread, you should not be doing any match older than U14's regardless of whether they don't have a referee. While you haven't completed the course yet, you will be registered with a CFA. So could be charged with a breach of regulations personally.

Both clubs are also in breach of letting you referee - so they could be charged for the breach of regulations and possible breaching safeguarding requirements. Additionally, if anything serious happened on the game, where would that place you legally. The FA insurance won't cover you, the clubs own insurance for their players may be invalid.

I know, that this may be hard to hear - but doing such a favour to help out my cause greater problems. You sometime have to say NO.

Completely agree, if this this came to light with the CFA you could be looking at being charged yourself, and both clubs would be charged as well. OK, you might argue that no one would find out, but what if there is a really bad tackle, VC, or even worse an assault. It isn't just a breach of football regulations, you are also possibly looking at a child protection breach. Whilst I know you are trying to be helpful, it really isn't worth the risk.