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4th game & best game yet..

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Hi guys

Just thought I’d share my latest instalment of Sunday morning psychological torture :)

Ref’d my fourth game on Sunday & it was a joy still a lot to work on but came away pretty pleased with my performance, now I know my pre match ritual now I’m walking and talking actually knowing what I’m doing pre match things are a million times better, I won’t go into the match itself to much but no real talking points or controversy, an attacking throw in turned into his own net by the keeper being the only flash point, I gave the goal it was clear as day, the defence went ape sh*t saying the keeper was already over the line & in the goal I was having none of it and stood by my decision, after the game two of them came over and said I got it right they were trying there luck so I was pleased with that.

So yeah compared to the week before it was a dream, obviously still loads to work on but it was a lot easier to ref this game & my best performance by far when chatting after the game some of the fellas couldn’t believe it was only my fourth match incharge.

So anyway just a few points I’d like to raise:

What to say to players in different situations, so basically there is no script on what to say to players through out the game weather it be a badish foul that your warning a player about or a bit of discent etc, off the pitch I’m quick witted and I’ve got decent banter, come to talking to players I’m struggling to get a clear message accross, it’s kinda hard when they’re animated or in denial & your trying to justify your decision & stand firm, I always come off the pitch thinking damn I should have said that or I should have said this.

Second point is being picky or to put it differently Being exact, making people take the free kick again, rolling ball, making players leave the field when injured, just generally Implementing the rules and not letting all the little things go, prime example Sunday awarded free kick they take it quickly from about five yards further forward to where I blew and Called it back, I got groans & thought to myself am I being to strict with that, it was on half way line.

Shaking hands with captains do you do it before toss or after ends have been chosen or both, also chat with captains in centre circle before kick off do you say anything? at present I don’t I just do ends & say good luck.

And my biggest thing is still doubting myself when i give a decision that doesn’t go down well with the aggrieved, every bloody time I look at there reaction and there team mates reaction and I feel like I’ve got it wrong, you just can’t teach someone a new ref how to deal with player reactions, I watched two games tonight and it was interesting to watch refs at the top level even still looking uncomfortable when having to withstand player rants and theatrical appeals, it’s a position that in everyday life you don’t find yourself in, but in the middle with the whistle you have be so diplomatic and strong it’s such a balancing act.

Anyway gonna be much more for me to ask as I go along, but sunday was the confidence booster I needed im looking forward to this Sunday & might even give saturdays a go if I can deal with the cold, by god I’m looking forward to the summer the freezing mornings are a joke they really are.

So I think I’m on the right track, just wish I didn’t have this niggling feeling that my next clanger or ground open up and swallow me whole moment is only around the corner :wall:
 
The Referee Store
I'll throw in my experiences, if they help...

What to say to players in different situations, so basically there is no script on what to say to players through out the game weather it be a badish foul that your warning a player about or a bit of discent etc, off the pitch I’m quick witted and I’ve got decent banter, come to talking to players I’m struggling to get a clear message accross, it’s kinda hard when they’re animated or in denial & your trying to justify your decision & stand firm, I always come off the pitch thinking damn I should have said that or I should have said this.

Do you need to say anything though? I let the whistle and the cards talk for me, and I don't really do give-and-take banter - I can't do that, it isn't my strength. With dissent though, I don't tolerate it, bring the caution out. I don't mind if someone questions something (nicely :p ) , or asks for clarification, but any screaming etc, into the book.

The time for me to have a word with someone is usually either;

A. When there is visible over-reaction to something that they're wrong in law on, and I need to clamp down on quickly, but not with a booking. Say, a defender whinging about not giving an offside when it's gone out for a goal kick. I'll pull the guy aside and give him a bollocking and explanation of how it works, that way the rest of the team knows I won't tolerate it, and he knows where I draw the line.

B. When there's a player that is clearly out of sync with the match when it comes to tackles - The over-eager puppy in midfield (or defence) that runs around after the ball. Or the player that starts off on fire and does something silly. Neither of these instances warrant a booking, but if I let them go without a talking-to, then the potential is there for the match to escalate the wrong way. I only do this if the player is on a very fine line though, and if he repeats the offence, caution comes out.

Otherwise, I don't really see the need to chat to players. Where I do talk to them it is brief and simple and polite. No real need to be witty with them or join in with the banter, that's not what I'm there for really. (Not to say you can't do that, if it suits you, go for it, but you don't need to join in with it if you're not comfortable with it right now for example.)


Second point is being picky or to put it differently Being exact, making people take the free kick again, rolling ball, making players leave the field when injured, just generally Implementing the rules and not letting all the little things go, prime example Sunday awarded free kick they take it quickly from about five yards further forward to where I blew and Called it back, I got groans & thought to myself am I being to strict with that, it was on half way line.

No, that's spot on. Do that. One day you will have an assessor and if you don't do that they'll hammer you for it. Plus, one day you let that 'rolling' ball freekick go and they score from it, now you have the opposition team wanting your head on a pike. :p

Shaking hands with captains do you do it before toss or after ends have been chosen or both, also chat with captains in centre circle before kick off do you say anything? at present I don’t I just do ends & say good luck.

I meet them in the circle, shake hands, give the coin to the Home team, let the Away team call, explain the toss results beforehand, the two confirm everything, sometimes they shake hands again, sometimes they don't, -shout at the cheeky captain running away with your coin so you get it back-, and then we're off.

Pre-match talk? I don't do it myself, just 'How are you?', coin toss procedure, good luck and that's it.

And my biggest thing is still doubting myself when i give a decision that doesn’t go down well with the aggrieved, every bloody time I look at there reaction and there team mates reaction and I feel like I’ve got it wrong, you just can’t teach someone a new ref how to deal with player reactions, I watched two games tonight and it was interesting to watch refs at the top level even still looking uncomfortable when having to withstand player rants and theatrical appeals, it’s a position that in everyday life you don’t find yourself in, but in the middle with the whistle you have be so diplomatic and strong it’s such a balancing act.

That will come with time. Be firm, make your decision and don't flinch is all I can say really. I think every referee has their own unique way of dealing with these issues, especially player management. I'm sure some people will look at my methods and think I'm completely insane, or that I don't do enough etc. But it works for me, and it works for the assessors and players, and that's fine. The key I think, is being able to identify when you do something that maybe doesn't quite work so well with your own style of refereeing.

As you watch other referees and gain more advice, you might incorporate how they play into your own style of refereeing, but it is always your own style, your own way of doing things that matters the most. You can't be what you're not attuned to. I can't be a strict disciplinarian type referee, as that's not who I am. The joy of refereeing is looking back and seeing how you've developed over the seasons, what works and what doesn't. (Of course, the main thing is to have fun! :p )

So I think I’m on the right track, just wish I didn’t have this niggling feeling that my next clanger or ground open up and swallow me whole moment is only around the corner :wall:

And when it does, you'll learn from it and become stronger. I think anyway, don't go around fearing the mistake. Fear not learning from the mistake, fear denying the mistake. That's what I've seen a lot of grassroots referees do, they shut things down and that can be harmful for their development.

Hope that provides food for thought. Keep on reffing! :D
 
Hi guys

Just thought I’d share my latest instalment of Sunday morning psychological torture :)

Ref’d my fourth game on Sunday & it was a joy still a lot to work on but came away pretty pleased with my performance, now I know my pre match ritual now I’m walking and talking actually knowing what I’m doing pre match things are a million times better, I won’t go into the match itself to much but no real talking points or controversy, an attacking throw in turned into his own net by the keeper being the only flash point, I gave the goal it was clear as day, the defence went ape sh*t saying the keeper was already over the line & in the goal I was having none of it and stood by my decision, after the game two of them came over and said I got it right they were trying there luck so I was pleased with that.

So yeah compared to the week before it was a dream, obviously still loads to work on but it was a lot easier to ref this game & my best performance by far when chatting after the game some of the fellas couldn’t believe it was only my fourth match incharge.

So anyway just a few points I’d like to raise:

What to say to players in different situations, so basically there is no script on what to say to players through out the game weather it be a badish foul that your warning a player about or a bit of discent etc, off the pitch I’m quick witted and I’ve got decent banter, come to talking to players I’m struggling to get a clear message accross, it’s kinda hard when they’re animated or in denial & your trying to justify your decision & stand firm, I always come off the pitch thinking damn I should have said that or I should have said this.

Second point is being picky or to put it differently Being exact, making people take the free kick again, rolling ball, making players leave the field when injured, just generally Implementing the rules and not letting all the little things go, prime example Sunday awarded free kick they take it quickly from about five yards further forward to where I blew and Called it back, I got groans & thought to myself am I being to strict with that, it was on half way line.

Shaking hands with captains do you do it before toss or after ends have been chosen or both, also chat with captains in centre circle before kick off do you say anything? at present I don’t I just do ends & say good luck.

And my biggest thing is still doubting myself when i give a decision that doesn’t go down well with the aggrieved, every bloody time I look at there reaction and there team mates reaction and I feel like I’ve got it wrong, you just can’t teach someone a new ref how to deal with player reactions, I watched two games tonight and it was interesting to watch refs at the top level even still looking uncomfortable when having to withstand player rants and theatrical appeals, it’s a position that in everyday life you don’t find yourself in, but in the middle with the whistle you have be so diplomatic and strong it’s such a balancing act.

Anyway gonna be much more for me to ask as I go along, but sunday was the confidence booster I needed im looking forward to this Sunday & might even give saturdays a go if I can deal with the cold, by god I’m looking forward to the summer the freezing mornings are a joke they really are.

So I think I’m on the right track, just wish I didn’t have this niggling feeling that my next clanger or ground open up and swallow me whole moment is only around the corner :wall:

HI @Men in Black - Yes, these are all questions not covered in the course, so you have to learn for yourself. Taking them in order:
1. Speaking with players - Most players realise that with the free-kick where they have transgressed. If somebody is too gobby, but not dissent level - just bring them out and tell (not ask) to stop as next time it could be a caution. Nothing more than simple exchange. For the "Duracell bunny" player, when he is over eager - just stop play pull him out and slow him down. You don't need to say anything, but it could be "Come on, you keep going like this and it won't be a chat!"

2. Do it right from the start. The moans from players for this is better and doing it wrong and the issues it causes afterwards (see @RobOda comment).

3. Say a little or as much as you want. I was a little more than @RobOda - in that I introduced my name and ask there, but not much more!

4. Self-doubt - NO, you are always right on the FOP. Act that way. The only time to apolgise during play is where you could have allowed an advantage but blew for the free-kick early.

Glad it is going well.
 
When I say i don’t know what to say I’ll give you an example..

Sunday just gone as I said little in the way of controversy but 15mins to go a sub came on played centre back, lino and me both give corner it looked out to me & also the Lino who was on the same team as centre back also points for corner, the centre back goes crazy he’s 6ft 3, built and lost his sh*t, f’n ball was off him last f’n no way screaming his head off, did it bother me not one bit did I consider booking him not one bit BUT I blew and called him over he towered over me & im calling him over because of the lack of respect & there is no way even this late on I’m letting the pitch think I’ll take that.

He comes over to me & low and behold I don’t actually know what to say & probaly the reason is because I’m not entirely sure why I’ve called him over, he didn’t bother me with his rant & he didn’t swear directly at me, so I sort of said I don’t need that & that was about it, in hindsight I’m still not overly sure what I’d say I would probably go along the lines of change your attitude very quickly or your in the book & anymore after that you’ll leave the field.

Also badish tackle near corner flag fella slid got the ball but follow through bit high and caught the player, again gave free kick went for a word with offender and what comes out my mouth ...I could have booked you for that..

Again I didn’t know what to say to him, I’m not booking him so what do I say, it really is sumfin on my mind when on the pitch anytime I’m speaking with a player warning etc I don’t know what to say to them, if the cards not coming out then what am i saying, it may sound silly to you on here but it’s sumfin I’ve found a few times since I started, get me in the car driving home and I’ve get Hollywood scripts in my head I could have read out, get me out on the pitch and I’m lost for words.
 
When I say i don’t know what to say I’ll give you an example..

Sunday just gone as I said little in the way of controversy but 15mins to go a sub came on played centre back, lino and me both give corner it looked out to me & also the Lino who was on the same team as centre back also points for corner, the centre back goes crazy he’s 6ft 3, built and lost his sh*t, f’n ball was off him last f’n no way screaming his head off, did it bother me not one bit did I consider booking him not one bit BUT I blew and called him over he towered over me & im calling him over because of the lack of respect & there is no way even this late on I’m letting the pitch think I’ll take that.

He comes over to me & low and behold I don’t actually know what to say & probaly the reason is because I’m not entirely sure why I’ve called him over, he didn’t bother me with his rant & he didn’t swear directly at me, so I sort of said I don’t need that & that was about it, in hindsight I’m still not overly sure what I’d say I would probably go along the lines of change your attitude very quickly or your in the book & anymore after that you’ll leave the field.

Also badish tackle near corner flag fella slid got the ball but follow through bit high and caught the player, again gave free kick went for a word with offender and what comes out my mouth ...I could have booked you for that..

Again I didn’t know what to say to him, I’m not booking him so what do I say, it really is sumfin on my mind when on the pitch anytime I’m speaking with a player warning etc I don’t know what to say to them, if the cards not coming out then what am i saying, it may sound silly to you on here but it’s sumfin I’ve found a few times since I started, get me in the car driving home and I’ve get Hollywood scripts in my head I could have read out, get me out on the pitch and I’m lost for words.

Don't worry about it mate, we are not all as articulate as we would like to think. Especially in the heat of the moment, with time and practice you'll learn to slow things down in your head even when the whole world world seems to be falling apart.

The examples you've given tell me you are saying the right thing at the time. Not everytime you pull a player over it has be a Hollywood kinda script bollocking. And with time you learn that you'll use these brief chats and direct warnings to take the sting out of the game and keep on top of things.

The great thing is that you are continually asking no matter how silly/trivial it seems. That's the only way you grow and develop
 
Don't worry about it mate, we are not all as articulate as we would like to think. Especially in the heat of the moment, with time and practice you'll learn to slow things down in your head even when the whole world world seems to be falling apart.

The examples you've given tell me you are saying the right thing at the time. Not everytime you pull a player over it has be a Hollywood kinda script bollocking. And with time you learn that you'll use these brief chats and direct warnings to take the sting out of the game and keep on top of things.

The great thing is that you are continually asking no matter how silly/trivial it seems. That's the only way you grow and develop

Yes, agree. I can remember one of my early games where a player did a borderline cautionable foul where I decided to warm him, only what came out of my mouth was "I can only let you have one more of those", whereas I didn't intent to use the word more. The other error was I said this right by the touchline where the opposition manager was and he reacted, and I should have taken him away from there before talking to him.

You will only learn through experience.
 
I had a junior game fight in one of my very first games pre qualification. It was 50 yards from the ball and the CH and CF were knocking seven bells out of each other. I had a whistle, that was it, it was a parental hobby thing. I split them and hadn’t a clue what to do. I passed them to the coaches to calm down and they took them apart for 5 minutes till they calmed down. Not being an actual referee at the time I brought them back together to shake hands, one put his hand out and the other one who was now free from his coach launched another fist fight on his opponent. I dismissed him as I had no choice and had to submit reports galore as it was a league game and someone reported it as an assault.

Pretty messy on my part at the time but I’d had zero experience and was just a parent referee really.

Things like this are great to look back on and appreciate where you went wrong so you can help the newbies going forward.
 
I had a junior game fight in one of my very first games pre qualification. It was 50 yards from the ball and the CH and CF were knocking seven bells out of each other. I had a whistle, that was it, it was a parental hobby thing. I split them and hadn’t a clue what to do. I passed them to the coaches to calm down and they took them apart for 5 minutes till they calmed down. Not being an actual referee at the time I brought them back together to shake hands, one put his hand out and the other one who was now free from his coach launched another fist fight on his opponent. I dismissed him as I had no choice and had to submit reports galore as it was a league game and someone reported it as an assault.

Pretty messy on my part at the time but I’d had zero experience and was just a parent referee really.

Things like this are great to look back on and appreciate where you went wrong so you can help the newbies going forward.

Yep I’m having plenty of head in hands moments & one day I’ll enjoy looking back on these days, problem is I’ve got an eternity to go yet before I can look back and smile :facepalm:
 
You have only done a few games, it is a confidence thing and finding your own style. Maybe do some senior youth games 14-18s year olds. You still get dissent but as an adult you are naturally in charge learn how to deal with it and then use your experience when you do OA. We all have oh pooh moments, we all make ricks, and I always come off from a game thinking maybe I should of done this or dealt with that differently.
 
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