Local referee around these parts had the ability to remember and recall all players and coaches first names within about ten or fifteen minutes of play.........teams loved it, always got high marks.
“Ref he’s a health and safety risk to me!”
- Thread starter Scottybee
- Start date
This is one of the fundamentals in the book, 'How to make friends and influence people'
I can't remember any of the other tenets of the book, which might explain why my only friends hang out on Refchat
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I learned all the Players names instantly...... 'Player, come here', 'player go away.....
No. They don't.....This is one of the fundamentals in the book, 'How to make friends and influence people'
I can't remember any of the other tenets of the book, which might explain why my only friends hang out on Refchat
Ciley Myrus
RefChat Addict
Its actually rude to know someone's name in this manner and not use it.....I would be a bit offended if my boss came up to me and said "hey worker I need a word"
as Social says, we are all in the game as human beings, not robots (yet).
as Social says, we are all in the game as human beings, not robots (yet).
“Perceived bias” it’s exactly that for me.
I ref for the same club every week so I get to know the home squads/coaches by name. If when reffing the players and coaches are using my name it could look to the oppo like it’s a bit of a cosy relationship and so poss affects credibility in their mind when things are not going there way.
I ref for the same club every week so I get to know the home squads/coaches by name. If when reffing the players and coaches are using my name it could look to the oppo like it’s a bit of a cosy relationship and so poss affects credibility in their mind when things are not going there way.
Ciley Myrus
RefChat Addict
The simple reply is "I have reffed them before" ?
Or if its "they know your name", the reply is, "my name is xxxxx, you can use it too "
Have some character in your officiating, you are not a robot ! Feel for the game and all that !
Ciley Myrus
RefChat Addict
Each to own, I think its the same. Person who is meant to be on control of what's going on (boss) needs to speak to someone he/she is meant to be in control of and they know your name. Its surely, xxxx can I get a word please. That is how adults communicate.
Here is something to ponder, as you progress, its common place for a skipper to come introduce himself before the game, "hi, am xxx" he will say....hopefully your reply will be something along the lines of "hi xxxx, am xxxxx"
managers do it too.
given the barriers are now down, why revert to treating them , or yourself, as a number.
as ever each to own, whatever works for you works. Take a look the next time Mr Dean is on your tv... its Mike this and Mike that, from start to finish....
Often tell coaches and captains what my name is and ask them to use it and not ref as everyone else calls me ref and I just ignore it 
Also take coaches and captains names and use them as often as possible. Helps game management, every time.
Also take coaches and captains names and use them as often as possible. Helps game management, every time.
ladbroke8745
RefChat Addict
I make it a point to tell each coach/manager my name. If they choose to use it or not is up to them. I do my hardest to remember theirs and talk to them where possible. Just like captains. I will talk to them by first name and not just saying captain. I've learnt that they respect me more this way. Again they're told my name at coin toss.
Troublesome players I tend to learn through the game their name , especially if not got a team sheet like in youth football, and will use it to warn them that I already have their name and not afraid to write it down. They've mostly gone in my favour and calmed down.
By having their names you are treating them as a person than a product on the pitch.
That's my opinion anyway.
EDIT
Just noticed Brian wrote it before my reply here. Didn't read it all before replying but he wrote it better, and shorter.
I never ever used their real names even if I knew it...... Captain was captain,,,,,, Never used real first names ( never on the shirts), I don't think it sounds that good and can be misconstrued....
ladbroke8745
RefChat Addict
See, I had an u15 game on Sunday last week where the captain was treading a fine line to getting a caution.
I called him to one side by saying "captain, a word please, over here" and pointed to a mutual spot away from the players and calmlymsaid to him "Harry (name changed for protection purposes), your game is getting to close for comfort for me and I need you to calm it down a bit otherwise your name goes in my book". In this situation it helped calm him down as he already knew I had his name and the bollocking he received was the last time I spoke with him about his own game.
When I called him in when telling off a team mate, I've spoken with the player and then turned to "Harry" and said "remember what I said to you at the beginning, keep your mates away from me by getting to them first. If I do need to speak to them I will get a card out".
He promptly listened and managed his players for me.
His manager at the end of the game came to me and told me I was great with the players and treated like people rather than lower class sum like some refs have. He appreciated I spoke with them and used their names as it felt they belonged.
In this case, it massively helped my game.
I called him to one side by saying "captain, a word please, over here" and pointed to a mutual spot away from the players and calmlymsaid to him "Harry (name changed for protection purposes), your game is getting to close for comfort for me and I need you to calm it down a bit otherwise your name goes in my book". In this situation it helped calm him down as he already knew I had his name and the bollocking he received was the last time I spoke with him about his own game.
When I called him in when telling off a team mate, I've spoken with the player and then turned to "Harry" and said "remember what I said to you at the beginning, keep your mates away from me by getting to them first. If I do need to speak to them I will get a card out".
He promptly listened and managed his players for me.
His manager at the end of the game came to me and told me I was great with the players and treated like people rather than lower class sum like some refs have. He appreciated I spoke with them and used their names as it felt they belonged.
In this case, it massively helped my game.
CapnBloodbeard
RefChat Addict
I didn't use real names but that's because I'm so terrible with faces that I'd keep forgetting people or getting their name wrong - so I figured that using names would make me look like more of an idiot!
Similarly, I appreciated it when those who I refereed regularly still made a clear point of calling me ref.
The other issue is, there are team I might ref 5 or 6 times in a season. If I'm calling all those players by name, and they're playing against a team I might see once or twice a season and don't know anybody, then IMO I'm no longer appearing impartial - it looks like I have a closer relationship with one team.
IT's like when you turn up to the field and see the ref being all chummy with one of the teams. Just something to avoid.
Spot on..... Dave!!!
Just doing my job ma'am
Often tell coaches and captains what my name is and ask them to use it and not ref as everyone else calls me ref and I just ignore it
Also take coaches and captains names and use them as often as possible. Helps game management, every time.
The names Bwian,,,,,,
@Brian Hamilton
Kes
I'll Decide ...
Kes
I'll Decide ...
I never seem to remember coaches names. 
To the players I'm "ref". Simple as. I'm happy with that.
Refereeing pretty much the same 40 - 50 teams each season for the last eight years does mean that you get to know players names. Why wouldn't you? You'll remember them by virtue of their stature/character and personality/influence on your game/misdemeanours etc in much the same way that they might remember you as a referee for similar reasons. As a result, when I address these players, it's always by their christian name or nickname.
The only time I might not do so might be if I'm addressing them publicly in a disciplinary sense such as calling them in to issue a caution or clear verbal warning, in which case it'll normally be "by the numbers". Even then, it depends on the tone of the match at the time.
To the players I'm "ref". Simple as. I'm happy with that.
Refereeing pretty much the same 40 - 50 teams each season for the last eight years does mean that you get to know players names. Why wouldn't you? You'll remember them by virtue of their stature/character and personality/influence on your game/misdemeanours etc in much the same way that they might remember you as a referee for similar reasons. As a result, when I address these players, it's always by their christian name or nickname.
The only time I might not do so might be if I'm addressing them publicly in a disciplinary sense such as calling them in to issue a caution or clear verbal warning, in which case it'll normally be "by the numbers". Even then, it depends on the tone of the match at the time.
And when we start using sin bins next season I'm looking forward to cautioning a "Roderick" for dissent so I can shout "Welease Wodewick" in true MPFC fashion