OFFINABUS after FT

Refereed a closely fought U18 game between two mediocre sides with no unpleasantness.... at final whistle a player from losing side that hadn't otherwise drawn my attention suddenly started effing and blinding about me, the lino, the pitch etc.. Upon being told to watch his language he told me in no uncertain terms to F off....

I instinctively reached for my red card to send him off but decided instead given the game had otherwise been uneventful, to inform his manager about the behaviour and he said he "would deal with it" (he subsequently confirmed that he had).

However with hindsight I feel that he was let off too lightly and I should have taken a zero tolerance approach to obvious OFFINABUS. Can anyone reassure me (or otherwise) that I handled it ok with a view to any similar incidents going forward? Thanks.

IMO this really is a matter for you to decide. It depends on a lot of circumstances around the game, the incident and personalities. The way you described it, without hindsight I'd go for red. With hindsight it kind of worked ok if the manager dealt with it, but still not a good look for those who saw the behavior and didn't see any punishment.

The important thing is not to second guess yourself on the filed or talk yourself out of a decision you know is right. First instincts are usually the right ones, back yourself and follow through. Reflect on it it later (as you are doing now) and use the experience to manage a similar situation more decisively in the future.

Red card offence. Not heat of the moment, directed at you, public, ignored request to stop using unacceptable language.
The manager may or may not have taken action, but it is likely that the player will be playing next weekend.
As @one has said, first instincts are usually right. Next week's referee will thank you.
Well done for reflecting and sharing.

Thanks both....I did regret not going with my first instinct hence my post.

BreakingBrad said:

Thanks both....I did regret not going with my first instinct hence my post.

Click to expand...

Usually first instinct is the most accurate, though there are occasions when have to take some seconds to consider.

It will come with experience.

I can think of a couple of times I've given a red card for OFFINABUS after the final whistle, once to an adult mens captain at step 5/6 who very loudly through a group of players used language towards me, and only a couple of weekends ago when a goalkeeper came over to have a pop at me, I told him to go away, games finished etc, then about a minute later he came back to tell me how he felt about my performance. Out came the red, he'd had his warning. Don't be afraid to sanction if necessary, it may just stop the player doing it to a 16 year old who is allowed to referee open age and doesn't need to be dealing with that sort of thing and may put them off refereeing.

I sent a 14 year old girl off, after the final whistle, for a lot less.
Nightmare of a game with both coaches and all the players (following a bad example from their coaches) bitching about every single call no matter what it was. So tedious. At the end of the game one of the little madams comes up to me and says "we lost because of you, its all your fault". I sent her off for that, because I was sick of the abuse I was getting all game (both coaches were on a yellow) when nothing really controversial happened. No disputed goals, no penalties, no reds, nothing significant. If I had done nothing, or given her a yellow, she would have walked away scott free and even though in hindsight it was harsh, I regret nothing. She can have a one game ban. She needs to learn not to find someone to blame for her own disappointment and poor performance, not walk away comfortable in her belief it was because of me and she gave me the telling off I deserved.
The (strict) guidance that I have in my league (in California) is anything that can be perceived as "attacking the referee" and their objectivity can be OFFINABUS. In the context of the game and the behavior of the players and coaches during it, I chose to perceive it as that. I'm not taking that kind of constant berating. My son who was AR said he couldn't believe the amount of abuse I was getting in what was a pretty straightforward game; ast half time he said "those coaches are a right pair of dicks"!

For extra lols, her coach decided to follow me into the field marshall tent (this was a tournament) and tell me how i was not a very good referee, so he got a red too.