Always getting grief

Hi all, some advice/tips on constant complaining...

It just seems as the match goes on both teams are in my back, to the point where if I give a foul and a free kick they then complain that they wanted to play advantage, just seems I can't win, and I lose credibility as the game goes on also.

I'm wondering if I'm not clamping down on it early enough or not all until it's too late?

Just things like any chance ref, in the back ref, you aren't giving us anything, should be a yellow card that ref, the list goes on and on...

pdhmobile said:

I'm wondering if I'm not clamping down on it early enough or not all until it's too late?

Click to expand...

I think this may help.

Verbal warning once then use your cards.

pdhmobile said:

Hi all, some advice/tips on constant complaining...

It just seems as the match goes on both teams are in my back, to the point where if I give a foul and a free kick they then complain that they wanted to play advantage, just seems I can't win, and I lose credibility as the game goes on also.

I'm wondering if I'm not clamping down on it early enough or not all until it's too late?

Just things like any chance ref, in the back ref, you aren't giving us anything, should be a yellow card that ref, the list goes on and on...

Click to expand...

You'll always get moans and groans, mate, so I think it's understanding where your threshold is, and when those moans begin to cross a line and then how you manage it with the stepped approach, public word with them, bring in the captain etc.

The other vastly more experienced and knowledgable refs will be able to give you better advice, but I've found that acknowledging what players are saying - even if it's just a thumbs up to show you've heard them, or a quick chat as you're passing by them - tends to take the sting out.

Personally I hate players shouting for cards, so I usually make it a point of principle to have a strong public word with them, that if they shout for a card again then they'll be getting one, usually does the trick.

This is low level dissent and can be managed - either a passing word or brief acknowledgement as Toby (above) says, or by a sterner approach and reminding the player(s) that there's only one referee on the pitch.

Not going down the route of victim blaming, but from my experience watching L7/grassroots refs is that a lot of issues are caused (or not prevented) by the man in black just not dealing with it early enough and so it spirals and gets away from them.

Be confident, be in charge, be calm... and you'll retain match control.

pdhmobile said:

Hi all, some advice/tips on constant complaining...

It just seems as the match goes on both teams are in my back, to the point where if I give a foul and a free kick they then complain that they wanted to play advantage, just seems I can't win, and I lose credibility as the game goes on also.

I'm wondering if I'm not clamping down on it early enough or not all until it's too late?

Just things like any chance ref, in the back ref, you aren't giving us anything, should be a yellow card that ref, the list goes on and on...

Click to expand...

Are you trying too hard? By that I mean things including looking for an advantage that isn’t there? Rightly trying the wait and see approach but waiting too long?

Try modifying your approach a little. Perhaps give fouls earlier, play less or no advantage unless it’s screaming obvious like a one on one. Don’t try and tweak everything all at once of course as thats a recipe for disaster. But small changes might make the difference.

And of course there’s whistle and move as a technique. There’s a rhyming version -something and go but that sounds a little too suggestive for here

But the point is make your decision and move physically. Then if anyone wants to follow you and hassle you, you have a stronger justification for action.

Archer said:

This is low level dissent and can be managed - either a passing word or brief acknowledgement as Toby (above) says, or by a sterner approach and reminding the player(s) that there's only one referee on the pitch.

Click to expand...

At the risk of being a pedant (but hopefully helpfully so!) dissent can't be managed as it's a cautionable offence. Lower level, mild disagreement absolutely can and should, as you say, be managed via the stepped approach. I just think it's a helpful mindset that any words or action that reach your tolerance level for dissent need to be sanctioned with a YC / Sin Bin

Lots of good advice already given. A few other suggestions:

1. Speak to your RDO and either get on the L7 to L6 pathway or ask for a mentor. Match Day Coaching/Mentor visits are invaluable on getting feedback and advice from someone who's watched you. Can really help with confidence too.
2. Try to AR and watch how other refs deal with it, or just go and watch other grassroots games and do the same. You'll pick up lots of useful tips just by observing.

It's lonely at grassroots doing it on your own without NARs, and the key is confidence, proactivity and using the tools at your disposal. Reality is that there will always be games that no matter how proactive, how much you used the stepped approach or how much you use Sin Bins, they just can't help themselves, but the better you get at dealing with it the less it happens and the less you care when it does.

The Gump said:

the better you get at dealing with it the less it happens and the less you care when it does.

Click to expand...

This is a perfect line.

The Gump said:

1. Speak to your RDO and either get on the L7 to L6 pathway or ask for a mentor. Match Day Coaching/Mentor visits are invaluable on getting feedback and advice from someone who's watched you. Can really help with confidence too.

Click to expand...

I’d really echo the mentor. An experienced ref watching will see things you don’t and can be very valuable, especially if you tell him what you want to improve on.

The Gump said:

Reality is that there will always be games that no matter how proactive, how much you used the stepped approach or how much you use Sin Bins, they just can't help themselves, but the better you get at dealing with it the less it happens and the less you care when it does.

Click to expand...

Spot on. I had a lot of dissent cautions when I was starting out and even when I first got to L4. Then as I got more experienced I learnt to manage it better, the main thing being getting on top of it with quiet words at the first sign of any moaning. That's the key thing, don't ignore the early moaning, rather engage with the players. If someone has a moan over a non-foul say something like "I didn't see a foul from my angle, thought he won it clearly", what players get really annoyed with is when the referee just ignores then and runs off. If it goes beyond a light moan something like "remember we have sin bins in this game, I don't want to have to be using them", you've given him something to think about then.