The Ref Stop

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The Ref Stop
I would advise largely ignoring the coaches. If they're appealing for every decision, as sometimes happen, basically pretend that you can't hear them - unless they're abusive of course.

Little tips I've picked up on in the last 2 years:
- tell them it's no jewellery when you do the equipment check and be 100% on that (you will get lots of excuses)
- depending on your tolerance level, generally ignore low level dissent
- always show a yellow card if there is clear, higher level dissent (e.g. "Ref, you're having a terrible game")
- communicate well ("That's not a foul" "Play on"), but don't have long individual chats with players - they're teenagers and not good at listening
- there's often one difficult player on a team - keep an eye on them
- use your fitness to keep up with play - that way, when they contest a decision, they will realise you're 5 yards away
- when you blow for half-time, stay a long way from the touchline so angry coaches have a long way to go if they want to speak to you
- remember that you're the only one not emotionally involved in the match
- never engage with parents
 
5th match yesterday.
Filed them all online and now just wait for the half day session to become level 7.

Things I have learned.
Well yesterday’s match. U11. Good kids. Respected every decision. I had a coin this time.

Late tackle went in. Should have pulled out a YC but a stern talk to warn that no more or it’s a booking.

Last 5 mins of the game the player who was tackled grabbed the late players shirt and yanked him back as he passed him on the ball. High shirt pull. Dragging him backwards to the floor.

As I didn’t give the yellow for the tackle. I also didn’t give the yellow for the shirt pull.

I learn there that I made a rod for my own back. I made it difficult to caution due to being too lenient.

So the five games. 5 yellows I should have shown. No reds. 1 kicking the ball away due to frustration after an offside. Sin bin and caution.

No cards shown. I’m too soft. Need to be decisive. Maybe this is my ex playing showing when reffing. I need to ref and not have any other mindset.

Hardest game was U14 prem match. But learned a lot from that 70mins.

Ball hasn’t touched me in them 5 games.
I’ve made wrong decisions. Lino parents may as well not be there most of the time.

Wish I started earlier than 48.
Looking forward to the journey.

The LOTG are getting read very often.

I’m typing this for future reference.
 
I think the big difference is you're dealing with kids football.

As an adult it is so easier to manage kids with our voice and presence. So you can easily lean towards not giving a booking.

When you start open age adults, or older age groups. You'll realise they are a different beast all together. They play in a way that requires cards. Kids usually just make mistakes.

Kicking the ball away is nailed on though. Get him next time ;)
 
What he said …and after half a dozen adult matches you might reframe the “ignore the low level dissent” concept.

You’re going to have a team that seem all chatty, nicey. Then after 30 mins you realise it’s the 4th time on the run that one of them has whinged again about a foul not given, or your movement through the centre circle, or the amount of throw ins to the other team. Then one of them will say something a bit nastier “you’re giving them everything today.” And you are now 5-6 players in to low level dissent. You don’t know your tolerance level and the players think they can say anything. And it’ll kick off.

Hence the idea of recognising low level dissent - early - and acting on it;) Might be a warning on the run. Might be public rebuke. Quick word with the captain. Some act.
 
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