I always turn up in my kit, ready to go - but wearing my Nike/FA tracksuit, so I can do my pitch inspection in the warmth.
I try never to use the changing rooms, as I hate bumping into players beforehand, or giving them the opportunity to hobnob with me (I know what they're secretly doing!)
So after I strip the tracksuit, im ready to go.
When im done, I change my boots, get in the car and look forward to a nice bath at home
I dont shave, but I have to keep 'tidy' for work, so it'll be between clean shaven and five olcock stubble.
I always gel my hair more than normal - as my particular 'do' means if its not styled, it just looks like a white-person-afro.
But because I run around - and tend to have 2 games a day, I need it to stay in place.
Also, I never smile or make jokes on the pitch. I dont want them to think im human or capable of being their friend.