A&H

Thoughts of walking away

The Referee Store
DanRicketts said:
I'll register for next season but football will only happen when I'm not doing rugby. At the beginning of the season I was all fired up, secretary of the local RA and got us a new venue at the local non league club ground and joined a new league which I'd heard good things about. By Christmas I'd resigned from the RA and hadn't actually joined as I could see no benefits and was working my butt off to organise every meeting and not seeing other committee members even coming or sending apologies. The league had messed me about sending me to places that no other ref was being asked to on a weekly basis and seeing the same teams twice in a month (on a league with over 100 Saturday fixtures). By January i had closed every weekend and only opened for times i saw games i fancied. Plus the behaviour of players, coaches and spectators was dubious at best.

So I'll do football when i need to but I'm not going to commit to a league. Rugby is thriving and holds referees in high regard as the players know it's a hard game to referee and show respect, addressing me as "sir " even when they could swing for someone. I'm not looking back.
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What sort of mileage are you putting in on the field @DanRicketts? My eldest son coaches a school team and my youngest son has expressed an interest in trying (sorry) out rugby. Now if dad was a referee as well (played for 10 years about 30 years ago)
 
I moved from Berkshire to Lancashire in 2009, didn't register here in Lancashire FA till 2013.
Same s*** here as in Berkshire from players, 230 miles makes no difference.
I have learnt a few lessons in my referee career( 11 years) and one of them which keeps me going today is " Familiarity breeds contempt"
The more friendly you are towards players the more they take the p***, because they think they can get away with it.
Even now up here in Lancashire i take no sh** from anyone, the first time a referee a team they get to know my style, the second and subsequent times i referee them they know what i'm like and i've even overheard in the changing rooms some(please note "some") managers telling the players " We've had this ref before and you know what he's like so no swearing or arguing etc etc at him" so i know what i am doing is benefiting my style of refereeing, i admit i do on occasion have some banter but short and sweet but definitely not during the actual game.
I know some of you others might do things different and it works for you, but this is me and this is my style of reffing.
So in my early days i did have on occasion though Oh! f*** this for a laugh, but then i think i'm not going to let these morons stop me doing something i love to do. So i go out there every game as strong willed as ever, do what i love to do to the best of my ability and enjoy myself.
So no i will not walk away from something i love to do just because of a few people who think they can play football...... rant over........
 
I do occasionally ... for all sorts of reasons really. never actually do though! I think its one of those things, like your job, where youll have days when you come home and decide 'enough enough im leaving this job and looking for a better one' and then the next day, you have a great day and think about things a little more

something up @SM ?
 
Just feeling a bit flat with it all. Not sure why, been reffing well enough, feeling happy with my performances. Waiting to hear about my promotion application (although fear this is banjaxed for this year, but c'est la vie :) ) just feeing bleh about it all.

Just not feeling the love for it currently.
 
Do less games, enjoy it more. That worked for me when I gave up Sundays a few years ago.

I still get the occasional feeling of not enjoying it or feeling like I should get my Saturdays back, but I alleviate this by just taking a weekend off every now and then, plus I travelled a bit with work so missed a few games that way, and that kept me hungry. No referee ever gets positive feedback every weekend, so when you get a few weeks in a row where you are being criticised, it inevitably gets to you. Taking a short break is always the answer for me.
 
The strange thing there; feedback over the last month has been overwhelmingly positive. Even the losing teams are happy (well with me).

Perhaps that is the issue, need more negativity feedback!! :D

May just be the games I have been doing. Done a lot recently and familiarity breeds contempt at times. That might be what is bugging me. Hopefully the summers rest will get me all charged up again.
 
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Never seriously considered knocking it on the head yet, no. Although in fairness, I only qualified in 2012. :D

@SM I'm one of those sad gits who isn't growing old very gracefully. Being a football referee is one of the ways (outside of coaching) in which I can still involve myself actively in a sport I love but am now too old to do without hurting myself. ;) :D It allows me to still experience that regular weekend committment to sport that I had as a younger man whilst also allowing me to cling desperately to whatever vestige of my youth I might still have in there somewhere!! :p
I've often sat in the changing room this season with the wind and rain howling outside, the noise/music/laughter from the teams' changing rooms all around me, the smell of grass, soil, Deep Heat ( :D ) assailing my nostrils, the sound of studs on concrete and the distant "thump" of a football being kicked around outside somewhere ........ and thought, "Could I give this up just yet?". Fact is, on some days the answer is yes, but thankfully, I know I'd regret it. :)
 
end of season blues @SM ... I get it too! you start to fill your weekend with emptiness and probably garden centres (or in my case, mates forcing you out drinking with no 'real' excuse to say no!) but alas, that 6 week countdown will start, the training will up itself, you'll start getting fitter and into shape ready! and by the time that first fixture comes through you'll be chomping at the bit to get out there and dish your first card of the season!
 
Had some negative feedback his evening. Quote a bit of it. Careful what you wish for eh?
 
SM said:
Had some negative feedback his evening. Quote a bit of it. Careful what you wish for eh?
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And did it make you feel any better?

I suspect I'm in the same place as you at the moment mate, I've done a lot of games this season, and a lot in a very short space of time recently.

Kind of left feeling like I'm giving quantity over quality at the moment and that's not what I'm about. Plus it feels teams and refs secs etc are happy for the quantity over quality, for the sake of ploughing through the games.

And that kinda takes the edge off it for me.

A break over close season and you'll be fine mate.
 
SM said:
does anyone else get thoughts of just walking away from refereeing?

Just curious.
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Thoughts and action.
I walked away from Futsal because in the space of less than 2 years of Futsal I had had more assualts and serious, over-the-top cases of abuse against myself than 15 years of outdoor. While I enjoy the game it just wasn't worth it.

Walking away from outdoor.....the time was a big part of it (I work full time and study full time), but even aside from that, I started finding that it was harder to let the abuse and stupidity was over me and I'd be dwelling on it more - and my on-field performance had dropped as well, so I just didn't need that stress on a weekend. I may go back in the future, I do miss it but enjoying my freedom on weekends
 
SM said:
Just feeling a bit flat with it all. Not sure why, been reffing well enough, feeling happy with my performances. Waiting to hear about my promotion application (although fear this is banjaxed for this year, but c'est la vie :) ) just feeing bleh about it all.

Just not feeling the love for it currently.
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What you need to do is a few tournaments,when you see the joy on U8/U9/U10 players faces when they play football its worth it, when you get(i have) a couple say to you "Are you a real referee?" and i reply yes, and they say to each other "wow look, a real referee" yeah its worth it. These players look up to you as a "real" referee something i think they will cherish. i've even been asked to present U9 tournament medals to a team of players and the look of enjoyment and pride on their faces... it's worth it. So SM go give it a try, ... then i hope you will realise refereeing is thankful and appreciated at least by the up and coming players.
 
When I first qualified I thought "why am I doing this?" from time to time, usually after a difficult game.

As I've got more games under my belt, those types of games bother me less and judging by the fixtures I've been given this season, I've tended to be given more than my fair share of games with teams that have a bit of a reputation , whether that is just coincidence, or whether I've been noticed as someone who can control these types of games, I don't know, but I do enjoy the challenge of them.

I have done one league this past season that has far more whining and dissent than all of the others put together and I've decided not to do it next year, I've got plenty of other games I can do instead .
 
Yeah, I definitely considered it early on, but the more experienced I've become, the less I've had these thoughts.

Of course, that's a different matter to end-of-season and end-of-promotion-season blues. I really had to cram the matches in at the end to get my 7-6, so I took a break after that. And then I've been struggling with an ankle injury towards the end of the season (which annoyingly affected my mobility for my first 6-5 assessment), so I'm looking forward to getting that rested over the summer.

I'm looking to rush the promotion ranks year-on-year at the moment, so things might change when I eventually get denied progression and have to reassess why I do it. But for now and recently, definitely not considering giving up.
 
mikedn said:
What you need to do is a few tournaments,when you see the joy on U8/U9/U10 players faces when they play football its worth it, when you get(i have) a couple say to you "Are you a real referee?" and i reply yes, and they say to each other "wow look, a real referee" yeah its worth it. These players look up to you as a "real" referee something i think they will cherish. i've even been asked to present U9 tournament medals to a team of players and the look of enjoyment and pride on their faces... it's worth it. So SM go give it a try, ... then i hope you will realise refereeing is thankful and appreciated at least by the up and coming players.
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With respect mate, primary school football isn't the problem. Nor is it the answer..... ;) :rolleyes: :D
 
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