I thought I would do a roundup of my first five games.
I attended my course at the FDC, Norfolk FA on the 29th June. Given it was close-season it certainly felt like ages to get the 'first 5' done and dusted. What I wish I'd realised was learning a little more, as now I am into a full season I don't have control to "put the brakes on".
My first game - Corton Colville Crown vs Hopton Hawthorne Utd (02/08/25)
I think I will always remember this, you know when you have a dream the night before that it will be a good experience? Yeah this was the opposite. Very quickly struck me how off my fitness was & how fast a pace of a game is, and how difficult dealing with issues were/are. This game had a high foot that I completely missed, a small crowd of people so dealing with that and club assistants. There were two major flashpoints in the game, towards the end a "was the ball in/out" - flag down and I thought it was in play and blew my whistle for a penalty when the defending team picked the ball up. Dealing with verbal dissent for the first time is certainly a humbling experience, placing someone in the sin bin a really difficult decision when personally I have never had to talk to or deal with someone like that. Unfortunately as they were going off to the sin bin they opted to call me a c*** so I called them back and issued a red card.
I think I came off the pitch and there was another ref watching who gave me some feedback and honestly I felt like I was completely out of my depth. I felt like going home, putting my kit on eBay and sacking it all off. If this was my first game, what would a season be like? I struggled really hard with whether I had made the correct decisions.
Second game: - Corton Crown vs Flying Dutchman (09/08/25)
This game I did at AR, both as an experience to use the flag but also to watch a very senior referee perform in the middle. In all honesty I should have done this before I started officiating. Watching him control dissent, explain to players what he would and would not accept, knowing when to give cards and "shrugging" away any suggestion that was a penalty or freekick. How he handled himself with players, kept up with play and ensured he always had sight of the AR for any offside decisions. I would solely recommend this to anyone newly qualified.
Third game: - Dereham U12 vs Costessey U12 (17/08/25)
Again, a different ball game entirely for me doing youth games with what are essentially 11 year old children. Zero issues, used what I'd learned from the two games I'd done, no issues from parents and at only 30 minute halves it was steady on the legs. Was a fairly one sided game, this finished 8-1!
Fourth game:- Kessingland vs Shrubs Reserves (23/08/25)
This one felt again like my first, a difficult affair I was contacted late by the clubs as no other ref wanted to pick this up. Other refs in my league had said that these teams can be a bit "tricky". I laid ground rules early on, and was consistent across the board, of course I still made mistakes. I was clearly in another world when I stepped a freekick out in metres, one foot in front of the other and NOT yards
, dealt with the first injury and issued multiple cards at the end of the game for a bit of handbags.
Fifth game:- Oulton vs Waveney Vets (24/08/25)
My first Vets fixture, played on a lovely brand new 4G surface. A completely one sided affair this finished 6-1 I think! Again, fair amount of dissent to deal with, including multiple sin bins. Both managers were also referees so felt very much like I was being watched. Positioning much better, making consistent fair decisions. A player who was also in the first match came up to me at the end and said i was a completely different referee in comparison to my first game. This has stuck with me since, knowing that one bad game is not enough of a reason to quit!
Since these five games I've now done a further 8 games, over three different leagues. I've had some really difficult ones in there, including the league I am doing on Saturdays and a youth fixture I did this weekend just gone. I still very much doubt myself and fixate over decisions when really, there is no need! I am thankfully supported by two fantastic FAs in Norfolk & Suffolk and frequently am mentored by the appointments officer for the league. Secondly joining the local RA has only helped me develop further, I certainly would not have thought about applying for a promotion without the advice and support of other referees that I have gotten to know.
I am grateful that from these first 5 games that I've improved, and of course everyone still makes mistakes. My top pieces of advice would be not to be too reliant on your cards, lord knows I was first in my pocket for anything. What could be general frustration does not necessarily count as "dissent" but if you lay down that you won't be spoken to like that, the players only them have themselves to blame. And ultimately, 99% of players have no idea what the LOTG are. Countless times I have now told players that I am in charge, and that is the decision. It saves me time getting into unnecessary commentary about decisions I've made. Even if I've made the wrong decision, there isn't a referee who will change their mind after making a decision.
I attended my course at the FDC, Norfolk FA on the 29th June. Given it was close-season it certainly felt like ages to get the 'first 5' done and dusted. What I wish I'd realised was learning a little more, as now I am into a full season I don't have control to "put the brakes on".
My first game - Corton Colville Crown vs Hopton Hawthorne Utd (02/08/25)
I think I will always remember this, you know when you have a dream the night before that it will be a good experience? Yeah this was the opposite. Very quickly struck me how off my fitness was & how fast a pace of a game is, and how difficult dealing with issues were/are. This game had a high foot that I completely missed, a small crowd of people so dealing with that and club assistants. There were two major flashpoints in the game, towards the end a "was the ball in/out" - flag down and I thought it was in play and blew my whistle for a penalty when the defending team picked the ball up. Dealing with verbal dissent for the first time is certainly a humbling experience, placing someone in the sin bin a really difficult decision when personally I have never had to talk to or deal with someone like that. Unfortunately as they were going off to the sin bin they opted to call me a c*** so I called them back and issued a red card.
I think I came off the pitch and there was another ref watching who gave me some feedback and honestly I felt like I was completely out of my depth. I felt like going home, putting my kit on eBay and sacking it all off. If this was my first game, what would a season be like? I struggled really hard with whether I had made the correct decisions.
Second game: - Corton Crown vs Flying Dutchman (09/08/25)
This game I did at AR, both as an experience to use the flag but also to watch a very senior referee perform in the middle. In all honesty I should have done this before I started officiating. Watching him control dissent, explain to players what he would and would not accept, knowing when to give cards and "shrugging" away any suggestion that was a penalty or freekick. How he handled himself with players, kept up with play and ensured he always had sight of the AR for any offside decisions. I would solely recommend this to anyone newly qualified.
Third game: - Dereham U12 vs Costessey U12 (17/08/25)
Again, a different ball game entirely for me doing youth games with what are essentially 11 year old children. Zero issues, used what I'd learned from the two games I'd done, no issues from parents and at only 30 minute halves it was steady on the legs. Was a fairly one sided game, this finished 8-1!
Fourth game:- Kessingland vs Shrubs Reserves (23/08/25)
This one felt again like my first, a difficult affair I was contacted late by the clubs as no other ref wanted to pick this up. Other refs in my league had said that these teams can be a bit "tricky". I laid ground rules early on, and was consistent across the board, of course I still made mistakes. I was clearly in another world when I stepped a freekick out in metres, one foot in front of the other and NOT yards
, dealt with the first injury and issued multiple cards at the end of the game for a bit of handbags.Fifth game:- Oulton vs Waveney Vets (24/08/25)
My first Vets fixture, played on a lovely brand new 4G surface. A completely one sided affair this finished 6-1 I think! Again, fair amount of dissent to deal with, including multiple sin bins. Both managers were also referees so felt very much like I was being watched. Positioning much better, making consistent fair decisions. A player who was also in the first match came up to me at the end and said i was a completely different referee in comparison to my first game. This has stuck with me since, knowing that one bad game is not enough of a reason to quit!
Since these five games I've now done a further 8 games, over three different leagues. I've had some really difficult ones in there, including the league I am doing on Saturdays and a youth fixture I did this weekend just gone. I still very much doubt myself and fixate over decisions when really, there is no need! I am thankfully supported by two fantastic FAs in Norfolk & Suffolk and frequently am mentored by the appointments officer for the league. Secondly joining the local RA has only helped me develop further, I certainly would not have thought about applying for a promotion without the advice and support of other referees that I have gotten to know.
I am grateful that from these first 5 games that I've improved, and of course everyone still makes mistakes. My top pieces of advice would be not to be too reliant on your cards, lord knows I was first in my pocket for anything. What could be general frustration does not necessarily count as "dissent" but if you lay down that you won't be spoken to like that, the players only them have themselves to blame. And ultimately, 99% of players have no idea what the LOTG are. Countless times I have now told players that I am in charge, and that is the decision. It saves me time getting into unnecessary commentary about decisions I've made. Even if I've made the wrong decision, there isn't a referee who will change their mind after making a decision.
