That one player

[one]

How many of you have had that one smart arse player whom you referee frequently, several times a season. After every game you think I really should have cautioned him for his smart arse comments. I'll get him next time. But come next game you start him with a clean slate and round and round we go.

I feel defeated every time. Had to get this out of me.

 

[IslandReferee]

I totally get that and from my observations these little turds are getting younger and younger. Had one two weeks ago, posted a spirit of the game and I too should have cautioned him after the game and then I see him again this weekend. He didn't play much cause it was their A team, wonder why!

 

[Kes]

Don't beat yourself up about it.

If he wasn't guilty of clear dissent (which by the sounds of it he wasn't - else you'd have cautioned him?) then you're simply doing what's expected of you. It can be difficult not to make some things personal where constant "banter" is involved, but if they don't cross the line for you then there's nowt you can do.

 

[Ben448844]

How many of you have had that one smart arse player whom you referee frequently, several times a season. After every game you think I really should have cautioned him for his smart arse comments. I'll get him next time. But come next game you start him with a clean slate and round and round we go.

I feel defeated every time. Had to get this out of me.

The Saturday morning league in South Yorkshire doesn't assign refs,it's up to the home team to sort. Most use the same ref as often as possible just so they can guarenentee a ref. The team I do 2/3s of the time are a really good bunch, apart from one who doesn't mean to be an idiot,he just gets carried away. Guarenteed card every week. You know the type, loses the ball and then sprints towards the tackler huffing and puffing with limbs everywhere clearly going to chop him down in revenge and get a card which no one can argue about because it just looks so deliberate. Usually whinges at being carded despite the rest of the team telling him to just shut up. Nice guy as soon as the game finishes, just loses it during flash points.
Repeat 2 weeks later and continue to repeat until May,where we break for 3 months before starting again in September

 

[Sheffields Finest]

I had my usual suspects, same sh1t different games, Leopards never change their spots!! If I ever missed something I usually got my revenge with less tolerance next time!!

 

[one]

If he wasn't guilty of clear dissent (which by the sounds of it he wasn't - else you'd have cautioned him?)

Spot on. On this one, the game was being played in good spirit, no cards all game. After this one player's second tackle close to reckless (but not quite there) I decided to give him a public warning (first one was an advantage and an on the run shout of careful with those tackles). He says "if the tackle is a card card me. you are talking to me because you know it wasn't a card. Don't waste my time talking to me". He just didn't want to lose face in front of his friends but he was clean as a whistle after that. A very intelligent player. He knew a caution was coming had he put a foot wrong after that. So my warning did the intended job but it was the smart arse comment that got me. As you say, I didn't want to make it personal or a debate on the pitch.

I am thinking I am going skip the warnings and go straight to cards next game (same as what I thought after his last game) but I know come game day, I give everyone a clean slate.

 

[JH]

How many of you have had that one smart arse player whom you referee frequently, several times a season. After every game you think I really should have cautioned him for his smart arse comments. I'll get him next time. But come next game you start him with a clean slate and round and round we go.

I feel defeated every time. Had to get this out of me.

This is where the stepped approach really comes in handy, allows you to set them up for an easy dissent caution for those little annoying comments, even if they are not worthy of a caution in isolation.
Dissent doesn't have to be explicit or loud, those little comments can be just as annoying throughout the course of the game. Stick to quiet word, public rebuke and then caution.

 

[JH]

Spot on. On this one, the game was being played in good spirit, no cards all game. After this one player's second tackle close to reckless (but not quite there) I decided to give him a public warning (first one was an advantage and an on the run shout of careful with those tackles). He says "if the tackle is a card card me. you are talking to me because you know it wasn't a card. Don't waste my time talking to me".

I would be VERY tempted to sell the tackle as reckless after that comment, assuming you had not already said it wasn't.

 

[one]

This is where the stepped approach really comes in handy, allows you to set them up for an easy dissent caution for those little annoying comments, even if they are not worthy of a caution in isolation.
Dissent doesn't have to be explicit or loud, those little comments can be just as annoying throughout the course of the game. Stick to quiet word, public rebuke and then caution.

Haha. See my post #7. This guy is very intelligent and knows my refereeing style and his limits. I know how he behaves also and despite his display of 'defiant' of my warning, he actually listens to it. I have carded him in the past though.

I would be VERY tempted to sell the tackle as reckless after that comment, assuming you had not already said it wasn't.

I wouldn't argue with you if you give in to that temptation but for me it means I have allowed him to get under my skin and make it personal. The comment was said in a calm way and doesn't qualify as dissent on my radar within that context.

It's a no win moment. The way I look at it, he wins the battle but I win the war. I would really like to win the battle too though

 

[QuaverRef]

There's a particular player in my leagues who, without fail, I've booked every time for dissent. Most recently he came out the line 'every f'ing time you give me a booking' to which his captain turned and said 'and yet you still haven't shut your mouth'

 

[Ciley Myrus]

There's a particular player in my leagues who, without fail, I've booked every time for dissent. Most recently he came out the line 'every f'ing time you give me a booking' to which his captain turned and said 'and yet you still haven't shut your mouth'

Suppose if delivered in the approriate manner, what about a half jokey at the start either to captain, or with player nearby, something like " oh hi, shall I just show you the card now rather than later?

Yes it is not always going to work and depends on your and their personality etc

 

[QuaverRef]

Suppose if delivered in the approriate manner, what about a half jokey at the start either to captain, or with player nearby, something like " oh hi, shall I just show you the card now rather than later?

Yes it is not always going to work and depends on your and their personality etc

He'd laugh it off. He's a nice guy, I always have a chat with him before and after the game but he's just one of those players who when they get onto a football pitch can't control their temper

 

[GraemeS]

I wouldn't argue with you if you give in to that temptation but for me it means I have allowed him to get under my skin and make it personal. The comment was said in a calm way and doesn't qualify as dissent on my radar within that context.

It's a no win moment. The way I look at it, he wins the battle but I win the war. I would really like to win the battle too though

Oh I absolutely would have pulled the card out after that response. You're trying to warn him that you don't want to see that kind of tackle any more - if the verbal warning isn't going to stop him then you're almost obliged to make the point with a card for the safety of the opponents!

 

[CapnBloodbeard]

Spot on. On this one, the game was being played in good spirit, no cards all game. After this one player's second tackle close to reckless (but not quite there) I decided to give him a public warning (first one was an advantage and an on the run shout of careful with those tackles). He says "if the tackle is a card card me. you are talking to me because you know it wasn't a card. Don't waste my time talking to me". He just didn't want to lose face in front of his friends but he was clean as a whistle after that. A very intelligent player. He knew a caution was coming had he put a foot wrong after that. So my warning did the intended job but it was the smart arse comment that got me. As you say, I didn't want to make it personal or a debate on the pitch.

I am thinking I am going skip the warnings and go straight to cards next game (same as what I thought after his last game) but I know come game day, I give everyone a clean slate.

Can't talk to idiots like that. I probably would have booked him in response to that comment - fine, have it your way!

Also means that if he's sitting on a yellow already...well, he doesn't get a warning after that then, does he?
Either that or you can tear him a new one in response.

 

[Sheffields Finest]

There’s a lad that I’ve befriended since we both retired, he’s 6-4 and built like a England forward.
I gave him his only ever yellow, he was with a team of idiots but stood out like a colossal. I was surprised he didn’t get booked every week!

 

[IslandReferee]

One player here who has finally moved onto college and off the rock was getting sent off at least twice a year and not always by me. A real piece of work and we all gave up with the verbal warnings. On his last game of HS having just finished my two shifts, I spoke to the young man and wished him good luck and best wishes. I've been reading back posts here and some really good stuff. I still believe that when people really think about what we do week in and week out they will realize we are fair people.

Now onto his sister! Who we will have 3 more years to deal with. I cautioned her for jumping the line on a free kick outside the 18. Attacker missed the net on the 1st only to send it to the back on the next. I sent her a clear message to not mess around with me and the one eye I can still see out works great!