Having read several posts about giving up the whistle or reflecting on particularly challenging games, I wanted to share my experience from my first five games to offer a different perspective. While it’s essential to discuss the difficulties of refereeing and this forum is an amazing place to vent, seek support, and get advice, I believe it's also important to highlight the positive experiences. This way, trainees or prospective referees won't be discouraged by the negative experiences often shared here. This forum tends to lean towards the tough days, as we don't often share the great and uneventful matches, but we have the opportunity to provide a more rounded picture of what refereeing is really like.
I caveat this post with the fact that I am 30+ and have the luxury of 20 years playing experience on my side, so not as raw as a teenager entering the world of refereeing and have the benefit of "life experience" which may better equip me to manage confrontational situations or initially gain me a level of respect not offered to younger officials. The reason I wanted to get into refereeing was to give something back to the game, I am fortunate enough that I don't need the £20-40 a game, so am doing it purely from a self-development and enjoyment perspective. A perspective which may mean I approach refereeing/games differently to those who are refereeing mainly for the financial reward.
Initially, I struggled to find qualifying games. Completing the course at the end of April left little of the season remaining, and I felt somewhat ignored by referee secretaries and clubs when offering my services. This isn’t a criticism of the secretaries or clubs—just an observation. I had assumed the County FA would assist with this process, but I quickly realised it was my responsibility to find these games. I was eager to complete the qualifying games before the end of the season while I was still enthusiastic from the training. I also wanted to avoid carrying my trainee status into the next season to put myself in the best position to progress.
To start off I used Facebook groups to find games but struggled to find anything local. Eventually, I did manage to secure games by checking Full Time for matches that hadn't been assigned a referee and emailing the club directly. To my surprise, every team told me that they rarely get appointed a referee. Both home and away clubs were eager to get my contact details so they could request me for future matches.
Game 1 (and Game 2!) - Under 14's
I found this game on Facebook and chose it specifically because it was a double header, despite it being a 45-minute drive each way, I wanted to get as many games under my belt as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, the referee kit I ordered didn't arrive in time, so I ended up looking like a real amateur in non-pocket shorts and using a jacket to hold my cards. Similar to my commute, the away team had to travel an hour to the game and were severely understaffed, lacking a proper goalkeeper and fielding only 7 of their 9 players until another player arrived 20 minutes into the first game. This resulted in a somewhat one-sided match, with the home team having plenty of substitutes and winning both games easily.
With my training still fresh in my mind, I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly the game went IMO. There were no cautions, and no major mistakes. However, I did become more aware of my positioning (and lack of fitness).
Game 3 - U12's
I found this game after reaching out to local clubs via email, thankfully with my kit now in hand
. Despite expecting U12's to be easier compared to U14's, I was surprised by the level of physicality and determination on display.
In this game, I learned the importance of paying attention, as a goal was scored that I initially thought was okay, only for the linesman to signal offside. Instead of seeking clarification or selling it, I accepted their decision without question. After the game, the home manager approached me, and I confidently asserted it was a clear penalty, only to realise he was questioning the offside call and claimed the player was actually onside... to which I completely froze.
Something I may get grilled for as well was I was extremely lenient with foul throws, as I felt overly strict enforcement disrupted the flow of play in my previous games. Thus, I only penalised the most obvious offences.
Game 4 - U12's
It was encouraging to be invited back by the same team from game 3, suggesting perhaps I wasn't that bad after all! However, I found myself once again caught off guard by a goal flagged for offside, this time by the home team, again, I was too quick to disallow it. I also maintained a lenient approach towards foul throws, as in previous games and this was my first, and only, game with a caution (C3), I did feel that I missed another potential caution in this game, where a player went for the ball but also made contact with the opposition in a manner that could be considered reckless. However, my biggest reflection came about an hour after the game when I realised I failed to signal for indirect restarts
.
Game 5 - U12's
My final game came with just 24 hours' notice, spotted on Full Time when a nearby team hadn't been appointed a referee for a midweek match. Once again, I realised after the game I forgot to signal indirect restarts, which was frustrating. However, overall, it felt like a straightforward match with no major errors and more enforcement on foul throws.
I really enjoyed the challenge of the five games and have already identified where I need to tighten up
Firstly I'd like to share a post where I, as the referee, in 5 games, wasn't subjected to abuse, insults, or assault. While there were murmurs of low level dissent from the sidelines and players, I chose to pick my battles and avoid drawing unnecessary attention to myself. When necessary, I communicated firmly with players and managers, which I believe helped establish my authority without being overly officious.
Moreover, I hope that the experienced referees and those recently qualified can relate to my experiences and even share their own qualifying game experiences. This would provide a more balanced perspective to counter some of the unfortunate negative experiences.
For prospective and trainee referees, I hope to convey that while refereeing isn't without it's challenges, it's not all doom and gloom either. It's a journey that demands effort and resilience, but the rewards match the effort you put in.
I caveat this post with the fact that I am 30+ and have the luxury of 20 years playing experience on my side, so not as raw as a teenager entering the world of refereeing and have the benefit of "life experience" which may better equip me to manage confrontational situations or initially gain me a level of respect not offered to younger officials. The reason I wanted to get into refereeing was to give something back to the game, I am fortunate enough that I don't need the £20-40 a game, so am doing it purely from a self-development and enjoyment perspective. A perspective which may mean I approach refereeing/games differently to those who are refereeing mainly for the financial reward.
Initially, I struggled to find qualifying games. Completing the course at the end of April left little of the season remaining, and I felt somewhat ignored by referee secretaries and clubs when offering my services. This isn’t a criticism of the secretaries or clubs—just an observation. I had assumed the County FA would assist with this process, but I quickly realised it was my responsibility to find these games. I was eager to complete the qualifying games before the end of the season while I was still enthusiastic from the training. I also wanted to avoid carrying my trainee status into the next season to put myself in the best position to progress.
To start off I used Facebook groups to find games but struggled to find anything local. Eventually, I did manage to secure games by checking Full Time for matches that hadn't been assigned a referee and emailing the club directly. To my surprise, every team told me that they rarely get appointed a referee. Both home and away clubs were eager to get my contact details so they could request me for future matches.
Game 1 (and Game 2!) - Under 14's
I found this game on Facebook and chose it specifically because it was a double header, despite it being a 45-minute drive each way, I wanted to get as many games under my belt as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, the referee kit I ordered didn't arrive in time, so I ended up looking like a real amateur in non-pocket shorts and using a jacket to hold my cards. Similar to my commute, the away team had to travel an hour to the game and were severely understaffed, lacking a proper goalkeeper and fielding only 7 of their 9 players until another player arrived 20 minutes into the first game. This resulted in a somewhat one-sided match, with the home team having plenty of substitutes and winning both games easily.
With my training still fresh in my mind, I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly the game went IMO. There were no cautions, and no major mistakes. However, I did become more aware of my positioning (and lack of fitness).
Game 3 - U12's
I found this game after reaching out to local clubs via email, thankfully with my kit now in hand
. Despite expecting U12's to be easier compared to U14's, I was surprised by the level of physicality and determination on display.In this game, I learned the importance of paying attention, as a goal was scored that I initially thought was okay, only for the linesman to signal offside. Instead of seeking clarification or selling it, I accepted their decision without question. After the game, the home manager approached me, and I confidently asserted it was a clear penalty, only to realise he was questioning the offside call and claimed the player was actually onside... to which I completely froze.
Something I may get grilled for as well was I was extremely lenient with foul throws, as I felt overly strict enforcement disrupted the flow of play in my previous games. Thus, I only penalised the most obvious offences.
Game 4 - U12's
It was encouraging to be invited back by the same team from game 3, suggesting perhaps I wasn't that bad after all! However, I found myself once again caught off guard by a goal flagged for offside, this time by the home team, again, I was too quick to disallow it. I also maintained a lenient approach towards foul throws, as in previous games and this was my first, and only, game with a caution (C3), I did feel that I missed another potential caution in this game, where a player went for the ball but also made contact with the opposition in a manner that could be considered reckless. However, my biggest reflection came about an hour after the game when I realised I failed to signal for indirect restarts
.Game 5 - U12's
My final game came with just 24 hours' notice, spotted on Full Time when a nearby team hadn't been appointed a referee for a midweek match. Once again, I realised after the game I forgot to signal indirect restarts, which was frustrating. However, overall, it felt like a straightforward match with no major errors and more enforcement on foul throws.
I really enjoyed the challenge of the five games and have already identified where I need to tighten up
- Indirect restarts
- Paying greater attention during goalscoring situaitons to identify potential offsides
- Leniency of foul throws
- Ball watching
Firstly I'd like to share a post where I, as the referee, in 5 games, wasn't subjected to abuse, insults, or assault. While there were murmurs of low level dissent from the sidelines and players, I chose to pick my battles and avoid drawing unnecessary attention to myself. When necessary, I communicated firmly with players and managers, which I believe helped establish my authority without being overly officious.
Moreover, I hope that the experienced referees and those recently qualified can relate to my experiences and even share their own qualifying game experiences. This would provide a more balanced perspective to counter some of the unfortunate negative experiences.
For prospective and trainee referees, I hope to convey that while refereeing isn't without it's challenges, it's not all doom and gloom either. It's a journey that demands effort and resilience, but the rewards match the effort you put in.
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