Friendlies - more hassle than they're worth?

[deusex]

If I hear one more player say "it's only a friendly ref" I'm going to snap and kill them (maybe).
The past 3 years, I have averaged a red card EVERY other game with friendlies!!
They are almost always 2 YCs for dissent. Players just seem to think saying "You don't know what you're f*cking doing" is okay because it's only a friendly!!! And the first YC doesn't even teach them!!
Am I being over officious? Should I let people speak to me like **** because it's only a friendly?
I don't know what they expect to happen when they say "You must be ****ing blind".
How do you "manage" that?

 

[OIREF!]

Like it or not, there is an expectation from players and teams that we will be less officious in friendlies. I speak to the teams beforehand and explain that I'm prepared to let a few things go provided that their attitude and behaviour merits such an approach. I make it clear that I'll used cards and reports if it is necessary. Usually this works although I have had a couple of stinking friendlies through the years.

 

[LC]

I tell the captains before the game that I can try to manage the game as best I can without using cards. Meaning late challenged might escape bookings etc.

However I will also tell them that three things will not be tolerated. Dissent, foul and abusive language and violent conduct. These will be dealt with like any normal match. If the captain is sensible then as soon as anyone opens their mouth they will shut them up before you need to book them. Otherwise bookings will come out like normal whether they like it or not.

 

[forest96]

I hate friendlies with a passion, in fact for the last few years I have refused to do them. As the OP said, I have a higher average red card count in friendlies than in the league/cup, by a country mile. Players/coaches/spectators always say "it's just a friendly ref" but their behaviour rarely matches that sentiment!

 

[SM]

I don't think your over officious @deusex - they are too dumb to get on with the game without mouthing off, then they accept what they get.

The joy of preseason games eh?

That said, I do cherry pick my preseason games - I won't do certain teams because it's not worth the hassle. I also have a rule with teams who I do preseason games for; i get treated appropriately or there will not be any further games done for them in future. Never come to that mind, teams are usually grateful around my area just to have a ref willing to help out.

 

[deusex]

I'm relieved it's not just me that finds them a headache.
I remember getting to February without a red card in 08/09.
This year's first was August 2nd!!