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I had three cards for the whole of last season all yellow and all in the last game, this season I'm up to double figures which is really sad given that through choice I only do youth football, I am pretty tolerate of the boys, which maybe because I work in a educational setting but, will not put...

I have had this and I know it's not an excuse but I'm six foot four and not the littlest bloke on most pitches, the manager threw the money at me as soon as the final whistle had been blown, and said words to the effect of "what winds me up is having to pay for ****e like you" I walked off...

I normally just say, it's a pity my sister "Mary Poppins" is not avaliable today because she is the one who is practically perfect in every way, whereas I'm just human. They normally just stand there and look at me like I'm mad