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I am keeping my pants on! Do you really think my Mrs would allow me on this forum starker? :D

Was why I said 'if'.

Does the same apply if a GK takes a goal kick, the wind catches it and it blows back and the GK plays it again? There's a whole raft of rules which many refs, let alone players realise whilst in play they have happened. I remember as a 7 in my very first assessment I cautioned a player for...

Difficult to call this one. There doesn't appear to be any complaints about it but what I would say is that if feigning at free kicks is not allowed surely it must also be a caution for unsporting behaviour?

Right you are. I could have sworn that was the wording. But may I also suggest that as recommended in the guidance section that actions of this nature generally lead to mass confrontations so in that case I would still argue a kick of any nature is violent conduct.

The law clearly states that 'striking or attempting to strike' is an offence punishable by dismissal. No matter how petty looking any kick out MUST be punished by dismissal. Failure to do so allows others to think they can get away with kicking players.

I always try to be sure it 100% deliberate. I remember a few years back not giving a penalty cos the player 'fell backwards' onto the ball handling in the process. Players were claiming 'hand to ball' but as I said at the time he hasn't got eyes in the back of his head so he can't see where he's...

Thanks for the support eh! I might as well bugger off into the sunset! For the record I never actually said I would not dismiss merely attempted(admittedly badly) would there be a case for not dismissing. As I said I was wrong to raise this. Yes refereeing is simple. Yes I stick to the laws...

I apologise. The consensus here is I'm a terrible referee and for that I also apologise. I merely attempted to raise a hypothetical situation and just dug myself deeper. The only feasible scenario I could see this happening is if there was banter happening all game long between goalscorer...

Given there are 22+ players, spectators and in all likelihood members of the public using the facilities the chances of it being 'offensive to someone' is very high. In my local area there is a ' faith' league and referees are instructed to dismiss for ALL foul language. This may not be deemed...

All foul language can be deemed to be 'offensive'. The wording was changed to include ALL types of racist, homophobic and sexist language.

The reason I raise my point was because invariably there is always 'banter' between players. I dismissed a player several seasons ago for calling a opposing player a w*&#*r and the player it was called was asking me not to dismiss. It turned out they worked together and were taking the mickey...

It is a clear red card and goal not given in the eyes of the good book. BUT how would this affect your match control? I can imagine all hell breaking loose if I was to do this on a parks pitch!

Thankfully you seem alright but I feel you were behind from the very first major incident. I'm in complete agreement with Padfoot and feel you got a few things wrong. Players body language and behaviour are also good barometers of any incident if you miss it. The way you describe the pushing...

Looking at the description of the incident it sounds very much like a red, unless the defender is on top of the attacker after he goes round the GK such that he would tackle the attacker straight after he rounded the GK. What you must consider when judging whether it's a DOGSO is a number of...

It's a classic can of worms situation, similar in morality to giving a pen for a shove in the area. Seems reasonably legal but the player is putting himself and the keeper in danger by being there so for me correct caution for playing in a dangerous manner. I'm sure others will disagree but as I...

As a rule YOU should not be approaching anyone. I always ask the manager to send their CAR to me at the same time and brief them at the same time. By approaching individually you open yourself to criticism from either as they could query what you have told the other and also it leaves you having...

A clear case of me getting old happened today! Blue 11 cynically tugs back yellow 8 but before I can blow yellow 10 is on to it and I play advantage he slips it through to his 9 who rifles it home. I then give myself a mental note of well done, go back to restart feeling pleased with myself...

Any language that's deemed 'abusive' then the player MUST be dismissed. Venom or aggression does not come into it. I've sent two players off for abusive language not aimed at me in differing situations. One was a guy 5 yards away from a CAR who said he was a cheating ***** and the other was a...

Firstly hope your Ok and carrying on. I echo some of the sentiments above, particularly RefSheff who talks of '10 minute refereeing '. In any game you feel the temperature rising. Ok you may get the occasional two idiots who flare up out of nowhere but mostly the incidents you describe are a...