The Ref Stop

Manager bawling out their own player

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lawriejones

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Hi! Please can I ask for your advice about a match I was reffing?

A manager is getting increasingly vocal during a match, but only giving criticism to his own (U15 girls) players. What started off as an irritation for the squad becomes more uncomfortable for them, with one being pushed to the verge of tears. At a break in play I asked the manager to calm it down and he did rein it in a bit. My question is, if he had not and a stepped approach had failed to get him back on track, what caution would it be for if it continues to escalate?

What if the manager had been engaging with an opposing player? Is anything different?
 
The Ref Stop
lawriejones said:
Hi! Please can I ask for your advice about a match I was reffing?

A manager is getting increasingly vocal during a match, but only giving criticism to his own (U15 girls) players. What started off as an irritation for the squad becomes more uncomfortable for them, with one being pushed to the verge of tears. At a break in play I asked the manager to calm it down and he did rein it in a bit. My question is, if he had not and a stepped approach had failed to get him back on track, what caution would it be for if it continues to escalate?

What if the manager had been engaging with an opposing player? Is anything different?
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Pick and choose your fights. You won't be short of options. Very likely you don't need to go there with this one. You can't right all the world's wrongs, only the ones you're paid to make your business. Even if it was opposition players, it depends on what's being said and how it's said
 
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lawriejones said:
Hi! Please can I ask for your advice about a match I was reffing?

A manager is getting increasingly vocal during a match, but only giving criticism to his own (U15 girls) players. What started off as an irritation for the squad becomes more uncomfortable for them, with one being pushed to the verge of tears. At a break in play I asked the manager to calm it down and he did rein it in a bit. My question is, if he had not and a stepped approach had failed to get him back on track, what caution would it be for if it continues to escalate?

What if the manager had been engaging with an opposing player? Is anything different?
Click to expand...
In view of the age of the players you are within your rights to remind the manager about his Safeguarding responsibilities, and the fact that you are also responsible for the wellbeing of players.
If he continues you have the option to caution the manager, which should make him think twice. If that doesn't work then you can caution a second time, which removes him from the game.
As it is a youth game, he can only be sent away if there is a responsible adult with the relevant Safeguarding certificate in place.
If the manager is the Qualified First Aider, he can stay in that role as long as he shuts up.
If he is really daft enough to get near the dismissal stage, use the score in the game as part of the discussion.
"Your team are 3-0 up. If I abandon the game . . . be a shame to undo the team's hard work"
"Your team are losing 1-0. If I abandon the game, guess who gets the points when you appear at the County FA hearing?"
Most importantly act early to set him up for a card if needed. It is usually the case that others in the clique will have a calming word.
 
lawriejones said:
Hi! Please can I ask for your advice about a match I was reffing?

A manager is getting increasingly vocal during a match, but only giving criticism to his own (U15 girls) players. What started off as an irritation for the squad becomes more uncomfortable for them, with one being pushed to the verge of tears. At a break in play I asked the manager to calm it down and he did rein it in a bit. My question is, if he had not and a stepped approach had failed to get him back on track, what caution would it be for if it continues to escalate?

What if the manager had been engaging with an opposing player? Is anything different?
Click to expand...
The Club will have a Club Welfare Officer, as the team is U18. After the match, they should be your first point of contact is you have concerns about the attitude of the manager. Your CFA will be able to provide their contact details, if not listed in the league handbook/on the website.
 
ChasObserverRefDeveloper said:
In view of the age of the players you are within your rights to remind the manager about his Safeguarding responsibilities, and the fact that you are also responsible for the wellbeing of players.
If he continues you have the option to caution the manager, which should make him think twice. If that doesn't work then you can caution a second time, which removes him from the game.
As it is a youth game, he can only be sent away if there is a responsible adult with the relevant Safeguarding certificate in place.
If the manager is the Qualified First Aider, he can stay in that role as long as he shuts up.
If he is really daft enough to get near the dismissal stage, use the score in the game as part of the discussion.
"Your team are 3-0 up. If I abandon the game . . . be a shame to undo the team's hard work"
"Your team are losing 1-0. If I abandon the game, guess who gets the points when you appear at the County FA hearing?"
Most importantly act early to set him up for a card if needed. It is usually the case that others in the clique will have a calming word.
Click to expand...
Thanks very much for this. What would the caution be for if he refused to calm down? Is it unsporting behaviour?
 
I’m with @Big Cat on this. As abhorrent as the behaviour is, unless the criticism/abuse is aimed at the referee or, at this age, the opposition, I struggle to see why a referee would get involved during the game.

Absolutely report it to the league and club afterwards, but if parents are standing idly by it’s not our job to parent for them.
 
The Gump said:
I’m with @Big Cat on this. As abhorrent as the behaviour is, unless the criticism/abuse is aimed at the referee or, at this age, the opposition, I struggle to see why a referee would get involved during the game.

Absolutely report it to the league and club afterwards, but if parents are standing idly by it’s not our job to parent for them.
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Yup, hard to say without being there (YHTBT is the acronym), but pick & choose ur fights and don't right all of the world's wrongs
Only so much can fit on one's plate
 
Perhaps it is the teacher in me coming to the fore, but - with the massive caveat that yhtbt - I’m disagreeing with @Big Cat and @The Gump on this (sorry gents!) these are U15s, I do think you need to get involved at the time (and absolutely must do so after the game and report through the appropriate safeguarding channels.)

U15s might like to think they are tough and hard, but they are still kids, and need our help and protection. I would be calmly, but firmly, telling (not asking) the coach that his language was not appropriate in this setting. If he persisted, I would be telling him that if I heard anymore I would consider abandoning the game.

Although abandoning the game would create a lot of short term drama, I suspect that you probably wouldn’t need to do so (and it seems that @lawriejones prompt intervention at half time resolved the problem) but if you do abandon 90% of people present - players, parents, other coaches - would be supportive of your actions (although many may be silent in their support). This sort of behaviour is wrong, but too often persists as no-one actually calls it out.
 
RefJef said:
with the massive caveat that yhtbt
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Yes, keep in mind I've done all the Safeguarding courses necessary
Maybe you're right that I dismissed the OP too lightly. I have a very strong sense of right and wrong, butI've not come across a Youth Coach/Manager overstepping the mark. Rest assured that whilst I might be somewhat more tolerant than others, It's very likely I'd react more decisively than most if my threshold was breached. I'd just want to confidently satisfy myself that something is my business before making it my business. Quite honestly, I wouldn't then be messing about
 
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