The Ref Stop

Lack of Respect

B

blackref

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Close to 20 years reffing. Almost entirely youth matches. No longer available anyday anywhere anytime so I pick up games from.the many unallocated.

I wont bore you with details why i have a life and other commitments but I pick and choose matches that I can do. Im not stupid I know leagues prefer e.g. u17 div 1 game covered than an u12 div 5 etc and club dont wanna pay riddiculous mileage if Im travelling crazy distances.

What Im increasingly finding is a total lack of respect and expectancy Im available at the snap of a finger. Im not.

I openly.communicate I refuse certain clubs location etc some for practical reasons others because Im fed up being abused attacked etc. Im sick of having to involve the police in reffing a kids game if football! Some of the lack of respect from.coaches and abuse violence threats etc is at an all time high. When your family get this too its gone way too far. Of course you can defend yourself but equally as a Ref I think you need to be restrained lets say and diplomatic and professional.

Im.interested to know of other refs experience picking up games that 'suit' them. Do you experience resistance here or understanding and appreciationfrom county and leagues etc. Lets be honest most leagues have more games uncovered than covered.

I come in peace. I appreciate respectful replies. Thank you.
 
The Ref Stop
blackref said:
Im.interested to know of other refs experience picking up games that 'suit' them. Do you experience resistance here or understanding and appreciationfrom county and leagues etc. Lets be honest most leagues have more games uncovered than covered.
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So at grassroots ref secs have always understood when I've said that I have distance limits, I must say that personal reasons like time with family go down much better than cost.

I've only refused to ref two teams ever, both times that's been accepted too on the grounds that making me do that game when I don't want to is a recipe for trouble
 
I think it goes 2 ways. If you can have an understanding with a league that struggles on coverage that if there aren't enough games to go around then you won't have one, then there's no harm in you saying I'll wait until you've appointed what you can cover and I'll cover one from what's left.
If you're looking to be involved every week then you have to give and take, but it sounds like that's not the case anyway.
 
I tend to keep Sundays free, but the trio of appointment secretaries round here know that if I can be arsed find some free time, I’ll get in touch and see what they’ve got… and I’ll cherry pick from uncovered games. Been open with them from the start and set the terms, and they’re generally appreciative when I drop ‘em a line.

Similarly, a lot of clubs have my number just through years of building up contacts and I’ve always said “if you get stuck, text me, worst I can say is I’m already busy”.

Never had a problem that way. It’s not me being difficult or patronising to those league(s), just my reasonable terms towards something I’m under no obligation to commit to.

Can’t see any problem with openly saying to an appointments secretary, “I can go here, here or here, and I don’t want to ever ref Club X”.
 
AS I WAS TYPING THAT a club I had in pre-season and is a mate of a mate of a mate text to ask if I’m free Sunday morning 😂

(cba)
 
Referees are in demand in most areas of the country, you can, in the main, pick and choose what you want

Best way is getting contacted directly by clubs whenever they aren't allocated a ref.

it would be dIfficult for ref secs if they have to check a list of conditions before appointing a referee.
 
Who, where and when you referee, particularly at grassroots, is your prerogative. You have your reasons for your choices and no one can really tell you much different. You are one up from a volunteer at this level so freedom and choice is yours.

But as other have pointed out, you can only choose from the scraps of what is left, and if there's nothing left you accept you dont have a game.

Whilst it's difficult for ref secs to know each referees personal preferences it's worth a conversation to say this is your approach to refereeing, how can you make their's and your life easier to avoid any conflict or feelings of lack of respect
 
Thanks for all the replies and there certainly is an advantage of supply/demand for refs to have more freedom of choice to meet personal circumstances.
 
When I was RefsSec I wouldn't let referees pick their games, I appointed to all of them. I would take into account which regions each referee had indicated they could cover (clubs were spread over 100 miles North to South and 50 files East to West, so asking this was very necessary), and equally if they had experienced an issue with one or more clubs I would keep them away from them for a period of time, the length of time depending on the seriousness of the incidents.

But I wouldn't give the same referee to a home club week after week, that wouldn't be fair on other referees or the clubs. Which meant that if a referee gave me a small geographical area, and therefore a small number of clubs, they probably wouldn't get used every week even if they were available. We had close to 100% referee coverage so could afford to take that stance.
 
Gone from bad to worse I will be taking action regarding discrimination. Hard to believe. Its hard enough being a ref without the hassle from within.
 
FirsFox40 said:
I tend to keep Sundays free, but the trio of appointment secretaries round here know that if I can be arsed find some free time, I’ll get in touch and see what they’ve got… and I’ll cherry pick from uncovered games. Been open with them from the start and set the terms, and they’re generally appreciative when I drop ‘em a line.

Similarly, a lot of clubs have my number just through years of building up contacts and I’ve always said “if you get stuck, text me, worst I can say is I’m already busy”.

Never had a problem that way. It’s not me being difficult or patronising to those league(s), just my reasonable terms towards something I’m under no obligation to commit to.

Can’t see any problem with openly saying to an appointments secretary, “I can go here, here or here, and I don’t want to ever ref Club X”.
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Wish I had that grateful response.

Do you find if you contact clubs or vice-versa that leagues get the hump? Could easily collect names and numbers there are so many games not covered.
 
blackref said:
Wish I had that grateful response.

Do you find if you contact clubs or vice-versa that leagues get the hump? Could easily collect names and numbers there are so many games not covered.
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Remember that if you arrange your appointment directly with a club (if League rules allow that) you need to advise the Appointments Secretary to ensure that you have support, possibly insurance, if applicable, if anything goes wrong.
 
blackref said:
Wish I had that grateful response.

Do you find if you contact clubs or vice-versa that leagues get the hump? Could easily collect names and numbers there are so many games not covered.
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I never initiate the contact, it’s always left as “I’m not usually available Sundays, but if you get stuck, text me on a Friday” if they seem to keen to have me back… and then I can either say yes/no, but I’ll always tell them to tell the league (and I’ll follow it up with an email too).

One league ref sec did the hump once, but I did mention that i never ref on that league, am never usually available at that time, and all that happened was a mate ask if i could help them out (like a dad would have to). Seemed happy enough after. Match obviously went fine but it covered me just in case.
 
Trouble is I know league would get hump yet I could be a parent that just happens to have some black football kit boots whistle handy and kinda knows whats im doing. I know some clubs would jump at the opportunity and even ask if doing an earlier ko can you the game after and vice-versa. Unfortunately ive been forced down the route of discrimination: so might be outta action for a bit, until its resolved. Im a qualified coach so I might even return there and football loses a grass roots ref. Will still ref a fair bit though because the club wont get a ref appointed every week and once a club knows you're a qualified ref, you know their other age group team willalways want you if they havnt a ref appointed. Daft thing is all the time my registration exists and of course coaching im still doing all the courses in safeguarding etc I can still enter whole game. What I dont get to do (surely a small gain) is no official match return. Of course if an officially appointed ref turns up 11th hour I would have to step aside but then im involved coaching!
 
ChasObserverRefDeveloper said:
Remember that if you arrange your appointment directly with a club (if League rules allow that) you need to advise the Appointments Secretary to ensure that you have support, possibly insurance, if applicable, if anything goes wrong.
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I definately woodnt have league support. I already know that. Insurance I guess not as I'd just be a 'Dad/older brother/friend' helping out. Turning up in kit taking it seriously usually gets clubs players etc on board at the start, but of course no guarantees for full duration of match.

Does league allow? Surely all grassroots do as if no officially appointed ref (more games uncovered than covered) someone has to ref the match 'as if' and assumes authority 'as if' an official ref.
 
I think there are some areas of the country in which clubs actually appoint the referees themselves. From an old member on here, I’m sure there’s a few leagues in the Sheffield are that do this.

There’s others on here who will have better understanding of rules and regulations around this, but if you’re doing it as a stand-in due to no other referee, then you’re technically okay. But the fixture secretary could quite easily appoint a referees themselves to the club every week. Especially if they have a problem with you doing that.

The bit I’m struggling to understand, so pardon my ignorance; but what exactly is your issue with how things are? Which discrimination have you faced?
 
blackref said:
Other refs pick up unallocated matches im refused
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Do you know the reasons as to why they get the games? Have you spoken to the appointments officer?

Being an appointments officer is a thankless and almost impossible role. They will generally try to look after people based on their requirements, but this isn’t always possible- you can only please some of the people some of the time, not all of the people all of the time; a bit like refereeing itself.

I’d be very surprised if it was in some way discrimination.

At the end of the day, no one can force you to referee a particular game/club/league. But on the flip side you can’t force yourself into a particular fixture.
 
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