The Ref Stop

Advice please - extraordinary report, email to league or no action?

The Gump

The Gump

Active Member
Level 7 Referee
Evening all - hope you got through your weekends unscathed! Advice appreciated please.

Game yesterday - my son's U13s team. As usual, in pre-match briefing to coaches I'm open that my son's playing for the opposition. Fiesty, competitive game that ends 5-5, oppo parents below average and two of their three coaches were as well, but nothing massively out of the ordinary or of particular concern outside of I wouldn't want my son playing for them.

YC'd one of their players first half for a petulant but forceful kick at one of my son's teams players. YC due to a) glanced boot (would have been RC with full contact) with no impact on our player b) accepting a degree of age related petulance and c) if I'm being honest, a bit of "what the game expects" at this age. YC another of their players later in second half for classic from behind reckless tackle when temperatures were rising and they were losing. Third YC for one of our players for SPA in last minute. Three of oppos goals all in added time.

Anyway, to the point - my CAR (great mate, neighbour) reports to me post-match that throughout second half two of their coaches, then their subs, were constantly calling me a cheat. I never heard it.

My question is - given the CAR report, should I report this via an ER, simply email the league to make them aware or do nothing?

I'm personally not bothered - had a good game, decisions were correct (we had VEO - maybe should have RC'd that petullant kick) and it's all white noise to me in any event. However, what I'm mindful of given the pre-match and half-time team talk I overheard ("We're away, and got nothing from the ref last week and won't/haven't this week") and their behaviour in second half, that with a less mature and confident referee they could be a very horrible and damaging experience for a young ref. I therefore want to report something to someone, and would just appreciate some advice. I'm leaning ER (if I'd had neutral AR's overhearing it disciplinary action would have followed after all) but don't want to do something I shouldn't.

Many thanks in advance.
 
The Ref Stop
Personally I wouldn’t bother doing anything unless I heard it myself. I understand one of your CARs was a friend, but you have to be careful taking advice from CARs. In your specific case, would you have listened to same advice from a CAR you had never met before?

Up my way, we’re lucky if CAR’s do ins and outs. So having them involved in things like this is pretty much out of the question.
 
Runner Ref said:
Personally I wouldn’t bother doing anything unless I heard it myself. I understand one of your CARs was a friend, but you have to be careful taking advice from CARs. In your specific case, would you have listened to same advice from a CAR you had never met before?

Up my way, we’re lucky if CAR’s do ins and outs. So having them involved in things like this is pretty much out of the question.
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Thanks RR. He only "reported" it post-match on way back home in car. I'm not looking to make trouble, I just know our youth Sat league has loads of young, just starting out refs and feel I should give a heads-up to the league to keep an eye out on this lot, but if wiser, more experienced refs like yourself think I shouldn't, that's exactly why I asked the question (and you're right about it being any other CAR I didn't know).
 
The Gump said:
Thanks RR. He only "reported" it post-match on way back home in car. I'm not looking to make trouble, I just know our youth Sat league has loads of young, just starting out refs and feel I should give a heads-up to the league to keep an eye out on this lot, but if wiser, more experienced refs like yourself think I shouldn't, that's exactly why I asked the question (and you're right about it being any other CAR I didn't know).
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It depends on the setup and relationship you have with the league. I used to be an RLO for my local youth league, so any incidents like this that maybe didn’t quite qualify for CFA input would come to me. I’d log it and if we noticed a certain club were serial offenders, myself or another member of the committee would shadow their games to see if it’s a common occurrence. The beauty we had was we had our own facility, so 90% of our games were played on 1 hub. This is obviously harder to manage if your games are spread out over multiple grounds.
 
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What amazes me is that these coaches will have their subs close by and hear everything they say about "cheating". As much as it pains me to see young kids not play football, they'd be better off not doing so with some of the people that coach them. For all the courses they go on, they count for nothing if their personality and examples of sportsmanship fall far short of what kids need to thrive and grow in the game.
 
RonnieM said:
What amazes me is that these coaches will have their subs close by and hear everything they say about "cheating". As much as it pains me to see young kids not play football, they'd be better off not doing so with some of the people that coach them. For all the courses they go on, they count for nothing if their personality and examples of sportsmanship fall far short of what kids need to thrive and grow in the game.
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And that's exactly what happened according to my CAR/mate. They were all at it but not loud enough for me to hear.

Credit to their young skipper - for an U13 he was mature beyond his years - unfailingly polite, never rose to the coaches or parents behaviour, spoke to his players to calm them down, and was the first to shake my hand at full time. He's too good for them that's for sure!
 
Runner Ref said:
It depends on the setup and relationship you have with the league. I used to be an RLO for my local youth league, so any incidents like this that maybe didn’t quite qualify for CFA input would come to me. I’d log it and if we noticed a certain club were serial offenders, myself or another member of the committee would shadow their games to see if it’s a common occurrence. The beauty we had was we had our own facility, so 90% of our games were played on 1 hub. This is obviously harder to manage if your games are spread out over multiple grounds.
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I might just pop in an informal call to give them a heads-up they can take a note of. I just know if this team has things not going their way and a young ref, it's almost certainly going to be an awful experience for the kid.
 
Definitely worth having a chat with appts secretary and someone from the league, informally, and raising concerns… they can tell you if you should escalate etc.

Team sounds a handful which all comes down to the awful management of Angry Dad Coach #1
 
FirsFox40 said:
Definitely worth having a chat with appts secretary and someone from the league, informally, and raising concerns… they can tell you if you should escalate etc.

Team sounds a handful which all comes down to the awful management of Angry Dad Coach #1
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Drives me mad. Happens rarely round our way (Hants/Wilts) which makes it more noticeable when it does. Guess bad coaches only retain bad parents.
 
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