A&H

Heated game

freddier

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Just want people's opinions on this today. Bit of context - U13's game, top of the league (have won every game) vs a not bad top half team. Game finished 1-1.

The better team had a coach who wasn't afraid to share his opinions, but nothing crazy. After a penalty shout for the other team, they went up the other end with a bit of shoulder to shoulder. This just happened to be the weakest player on the pitch, so I didn't give a foul, but came back to it later because he was still down. He started crying, and that's when it kicked off. Their coach said I was having a "f***ing shocker", while their linesman was also adding to it, telling me what I should do. Even if I've made the wrong decision, I still feel like there's no need for the coach to come storming onto the pitch. At the end of the day, it's grassroots, and I'm just a teen reffing.
 
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Subject to there being a responsible adult to be there for the team (possibly the CAR) and assuming the coach is not the qualified first aider, send him off and away from tbe immediate area.
If no other adult available or he is the QFA show the red card and tell him he can only stay because of that, but any further misconduct on his part will result in an abandonment.
 
Unfortunately I didn't act on the red card, it's still my first season so I haven't given many cards. There was only 1 minute to play, and I played 3 extra because of the incident. The home team (the nicer ones) were very supportive post match.
 
Unfortunately I didn't act on the red card, it's still my first season so I haven't given many cards. There was only 1 minute to play, and I played 3 extra because of the incident. The home team (the nicer ones) were very supportive post match.
Don’t worry about that, it’s easy to think what you should have done post game and in the heat of the moment I imagine you found it quite intimidating. You’re a young ref who shouldn’t have to put up with that. I’d definitely report to your league and the CFA and let them know how it made you feel and what went on.
 
Yes. Agree with everyone else here. It’s always easier to see with greater clarity what you perhaps could / should have done after the game has finished. Don’t worry, I am in my 4th year and still get free character assessments from coaches, especially when their highly fancied teams are not performing as expected. Don’t let it get you down and know that you will be better for the experience and are likely to act with more confidence next time something similar happens. I am sorry you were treated so poorly on this occasion. Just remember you are the one with the courage to take on the middle referee position and almost certainly more capable than any player, coach, spectator offering their free opinion from the cheap seats.
 
Just want people's opinions on this today. Bit of context - U13's game, top of the league (have won every game) vs a not bad top half team. Game finished 1-1.

The better team had a coach who wasn't afraid to share his opinions, but nothing crazy. After a penalty shout for the other team, they went up the other end with a bit of shoulder to shoulder. This just happened to be the weakest player on the pitch, so I didn't give a foul, but came back to it later because he was still down. He started crying, and that's when it kicked off. Their coach said I was having a "f***ing shocker", while their linesman was also adding to it, telling me what I should do. Even if I've made the wrong decision, I still feel like there's no need for the coach to come storming onto the pitch. At the end of the day, it's grassroots, and I'm just a teen reffing.
Have a chat on the phone (or face to face) with your RDO. If he's worth his salt then he should follow this up with your CFA's Designated Safeguarding Officer, as this coach has verbally abused a referee who is a child, and for good measure has done it in front of 12 year old players. They may (quite reasonably) have doubts about whether this odious individual is suitable for being involved in youth football.

Aside from that, from a purely refereeing point of view, something to bear in mind for the future - a team official entering the field of play to confront a match official is a sending off offence, even without the insulting/abusive language. Next time, take a deep breath, stand up tall, hit the whistle loud and send the a**hole packing 😉
 
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