Got refused my first handshake

[OldNavyRef]

Quiet game, honestly nothing happened. A few complaints about pushing in the back, a lot of complaining about handballs.

Ended 4 - 1 with Blue team winning. Gave three bookings to the blue team.

At full time I offered a handshake to a red team player 'Nah, I am alright ref'.

So frustrating. I was genuinely just wondering why.

Got them again in a cup game, so deliberately done everything in my power to forget his face and number hahaa

 

[santa sangria]

Badge. Of. Honour.

I got a double handshake yesterday.
These things even themselves out over the season (at least that’s what we thought before VA… )

 

[Viridis1886]

I had exactly this scenario earlier in the season, right down to the cup game.

 

[SammyT5]

Yesterday instead of a handshake a player told me to “come back when I had my refereeing license”. Straight in the book for him.

 

[DazN]

Do you guys offer the handshake or do you wait for coaches to offer?

 

[RefereeX]

Do you guys offer the handshake or do you wait for coaches to offer?

This. Don't go round shaking hands. Stand still and let them people who wish to shake your hand come to you. It'll lead to alot less situations like this, although it will still happen when people feel the need to come over and tell you that they aren't shaking your hand. At least it means though, that if they do so with a clear act of dissent or offensive language etc, it's alot easier to sanction it as they've travelled to you to do so.

 

[DazN]

Yeah I tend to stand in the centre, write the final score etc on my match card and then write some imaginary scribblings to give them long enough to either approach or ignore me.

 

[SammyT5]

Yes, I stand in the centre circle and look busy with my watch. Allow anyone who wants to shake my hand to do so, but still get comments sometimes instead of a handshake, as demonstrated above. I do however make a point of shaking the managers’ hands regardless after that.

 

[RustyRef]

Don't worry about it. Just stand still at the place you ended the game for around 30 seconds, with your ARs if neutral, fiddle with your watch if you feel awkward. If they come shake their hands, if they don't then certainly don't go trying to engineer handshakes, just walk off.

 

[OldNavyRef]

I tend to just get myself in the middle of everyone at the end and throwing handshakes around left right and centre (obviously read the room/temperature). 99.9% success rate. As anyone who joins the handshake chaos just tends to hand them out.

Plus it defuses the random player who wants to whine at you as he watches his team all give you a handshake.

But I am obviously just a solo referee at grassroots.

When I've been on the line in the higher games I just run to the referee in the middle and wait to be approached.

 

[Kes]

I actually don't really care. After blowing the final whistle I'm looking for my (normally) Club ARs to get my flags back and wondering how soon I can get back home and down the pub with Mrs Kes.

Most times, the players are all shaking hands with each other and generally include myself in that but I certainly don't go looking or waiting for it to happen.

 

[santa sangria]

This is a ceremony that varies by location. Where I am the ref (and ARs) always go to the centre circle. Some divisions it’s random handshakes, some nothing, some queue, some do a line up, clap and then shakes, and at our high level youth matches the players queue for shakes and the coaches approach en masse as a second wave.

Just don’t be offended if anyone doesn’t join, especially if they lost. Don’t get sucked in by backhanded compliments from coaches.

To be honest, one of the greatest feelings in this is when a difficult player, whinger, loser or similar thanks you after the match. For me, the post match is important.

 

[Ross]