A&H

First Game -- Not pretty

R

Rahul Parkar

New Member
So,

I had my first game Sunday, and let me be the first to say, jumping into seniors was probably a really really really bad idea. I almost felt like a deer in headlights with the nerves, and the players didn't make that better.

The experience was quite an experience I'll say.

I had an incident in the game upon which I wanted some opinions, a player went to push me as he chose to walk away instead of listening to what I would have to say and in the process had some choice language for me, would you have sent him off?

One of the things I felt didn't go well was me trying to somehow determine what a foul was... Commonly two players would go for a header and there would be unintentional contact between the two as they both went for the ball... My lack of action got a lot of stick from the players.

Does anybody have any tips, or ideas for confidence boosters as the experience wasn't particularly great for my confidence.

Rahul
 
The Referee Store
Sorry to hear that you've had such a negative experience. I'll share some tips from my (also limited) experience of senior football...

The 'push' - not sure if he has pushed you here, if he actually pushed you, then I would have abandoned the game there and then and reported to the league. Do not accept treatment like that. We do not go out to be physically abused and we have to take a stand on these issues. The choice language - there are many other threads on this forum for this, but personally if he has called you a cheat/c**t then I would be looking to red card. Please read the other OFFINABUS threads before making you own decision on this.

Unintentional contact at headers - are both players challenging for the ball fairly? If so, more than likely not a foul. Is one player clearly pushing/leaning/tripping/whatever the other in order to gain an unfair advantage? If so, foul.

Stick from players - part of the job mate, but if you act confident and make it clear that you are not going to accept it, then it will lessen it. Try bringing the offending player in to you with a word with his/her captain the first time it happens excessively, tell him/her that you won't accept it and that the next time there will be a caution for dissent. Make it clear to all of the other players on the pitch what you are saying and that should help to stop it. If it continues, then don't be afraid to caution for dissent. If players don't learn from a caution then sadly they never will.

Confidence - players are making a judgment of you from the moment you arrive (even the moment you speak to them on the phone to confirm the fixture). Walk tall, speak confidently and use confident body language - chest out, shoulders back. Be friendly and polite but remember that you are the boss and this is your game to referee. Nice and strong shout for 'CAPTAINS PLEASE!!!' at the start, accompanied by a firm and loud blast on the whistle. Rehearse your chat with the captains in your head, if you are nervous and stumble your words then they will pick up on that. If something goes wrong in the game, don't worry - at grass roots level the players are making WAY more mistakes than you are.

Best advice i've ever heard, after a game, just park it and forget about it, it's done, if you can learn from it then do so, if not, doesn't matter, it's only a game.
 
The saying the 1st one is always the worst is very true imo. My 1st oa didn't go great and to be honest several others since haven't. With every game you do though you will gain confidence. I echo the comments above really on the main issues.

If you did get pushed that is a defo report to the fa. No one deserves to be treated like that no matter how bad a day you are having.

Learn from it move on. Roll on the next one!
 
Get back on your horse. The first is probably the worst but every season there will be a few horrible ones for all sort of reasons. What that does mean is the majority of your matches will be fine. Don't be too hard on yourself, do not be too sensitive and be confident and assertive. Sell your decisions even when you are not 100% convinced. Should it be a GK or a Corner - well no one ever scores from a GK so err on the side of safety. Made a mistake that results in a corner/free kick, then there will always be an infringement by the attacking side you can blow for, award fk and move away quickly.
 
Can you get another ref to come and watch you - a mentor, someone from your course, someone from your local RA? It really helps to have another, educated and supportive view on a match - someone to discuss the actual incidents that you have dealt with.

It can be really difficult at first to decide what is a foul and what is just acceptable physical contact, particularly at headers when both teams appeal as a matter of course - a second opinion will help you to decide where you draw the line and then you can stick to it. It is the doubt that destroys you and so having someone to say "you were 100% correct here but there you were perhaps a bit harsh" can be a huge help to counteract the players as one team will almost always tell you how wrong you have got every decision.

I also find it helpful to watch other refs at a similar or slightly higher level - you pick up good ideas from more experienced and competent refs and every so often you see someone who makes you feel better just because you know that you can't be as bad as them;).

Stick at it - it does get easier!
 
Jacko said:
The county surely have a duty of care.

You wouldn't let someone who's never driven a car before drive on their own. It should be the same for refereeing.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately it is regular that new refs are let loose with nothing. I wasn't mentored once. And know many others who weren't
 
HertsFinest said:
Unfortunately it is regular that new refs are let loose with nothing. I wasn't mentored once. And know many others who weren't
Click to expand...
I've never been mentored in 12 and a bit years - never applied for promotion
Only feedback I get is as an AR.
Plenty of "unofficial" feedback received down the years of course!;)
 
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