Dealing with verbal abuse

[L9212]

Hello all,

Just a quick one from yesterday. I done a Supply league line and was senior due to the other linesman being 17 and having only done a couple of lines before. I’ve had about 15 games or so under my belt so always pretty confident.

Yesterday was one of the worst I’d had in terms of verbal abuse, from both the bench and also the players. A few had been warned on a couple of occasions. It was literally one of those games where there could have been 10+ reds for foul and abusive language.

Had a good game, no mistakes, clear offsides and a couple of free kicks given down in my 3rd. Observer was a 2A referee and said I was brilliant and would no doubt be a solid 73 performance. One thing I want to know is how do you cope with blanking out the abuse from the side? Does it come in time with experience?

I’ve always said in my own head that I only really care about what the observer has to say, but the level of abuse yesterday was starting to get under my skin abit and I could feel the self doubt starting to creep in slightly. One of the funniest moments was ball went out of play, I buzz and flag up for a throw. Manager goes wild and shouts ‘nobody even appealed for that lino!’, it took a good few minutes to actually explain that even though there was no appeals, the ball was still out and we can’t in fact just play on

 

[santa sangria]

If you are senior AR and the bench is shouting abusive comments - or there is a lot of low level dissent - then it’s your job to give the referee the information.

E.g.
You spoke about it before the game and the ref will pause the game if you need to give a verbal warning.

You call the ref over to card for dissent or offinabus.

You tell the ref on comms and between you take action.

The ref hears and takes action.


Whet you don’t want to do is tell the ref after the game about how the bench was abusive all game!

 

[Big Cat]

Hello all,

Just a quick one from yesterday. I done a Supply league line and was senior due to the other linesman being 17 and having only done a couple of lines before. I’ve had about 15 games or so under my belt so always pretty confident.

Yesterday was one of the worst I’d had in terms of verbal abuse, from both the bench and also the players. A few had been warned on a couple of occasions. It was literally one of those games where there could have been 10+ reds for foul and abusive language.

Had a good game, no mistakes, clear offsides and a couple of free kicks given down in my 3rd. Observer was a 2A referee and said I was brilliant and would no doubt be a solid 73 performance. One thing I want to know is how do you cope with blanking out the abuse from the side? Does it come in time with experience?

I’ve always said in my own head that I only really care about what the observer has to say,n but the level of abuse yesterday was starting to get under my skin abit and I could feel the self doubt starting to creep in slightly. One of the funniest moments was ball went out of play, I buzz and flag up for a throw. Manager goes wild and shouts ‘nobody even appealed for that lino!’, it took a good few minutes to actually explain that even though there was no appeals, the ball was still out and we can’t in fact just play on

Notwithstanding the challenges of bench side, the relationship with spectators is curious. Not least cos I've spent most of my adult life as a giver rather than a taker. So to be on the receiving side is intriguing. I just try to have a healthy relationship with the stick we get, both in terms of seeing the comedic side of it, but also one of relishing the opportunity to get hardened to it. Its certainly charactter building!

 

[PinnerPaul]

Following on from BigCat, the comedic element is always there from the 'crowd'

Isthmian U18s this week. After a goal is scored, bit of argy bargy between GS and GK - escalated into full scale 'handbags' - no punches thrown but 2 easy yellows for AAA - Ref asked me for GS number as he had lost him in the melee (A few others got involved) - all good.

Man in the crowd says "So that's a yellow for trying to get the ball back then?" - Erm , no, its a yellow for squaring up to the GK.

Obviously he thought it was my fault as 5 mins later innocous, but obvious push in the back, so FK for his team. Bit of handbags after that as well, ref was 3 yards from the foul and 1 yard from the afters, so had a word, but my new mate says "Didn't see that lino? Selective vision eh?"

No idea what he was on about? Ref dealt with it perfectly and although I was only about 10 - 15 yards away no need to get involved obviously.

Even after doing it for many years I do, stiil find it hard not to get into conversations with the crowd and/or bences when I know I shouldn't.

 

[Big Cat]

Following on from BigCat, the comedic element is always there from the 'crowd'

Isthmian U18s this week. After a goal is scored, bit of argy bargy between GS and GK - escalated into full scale 'handbags' - no punches thrown but 2 easy yellows for AAA - Ref asked me for GS number as he had lost him in the melee (A few others got involved) - all good.

Man in the crowd says "So that's a yellow for trying to get the ball back then?" - Erm , no, its a yellow for squaring up to the GK.

Obviously he thought it was my fault as 5 mins later innocous, but obvious push in the back, so FK for his team. Bit of handbags after that as well, ref was 3 yards from the foul and 1 yard from the afters, so had a word, but my new mate says "Didn't see that lino? Selective vision eh?"

No idea what he was on about? Ref dealt with it perfectly and although I was only about 10 - 15 yards away no need to get involved obviously.

Even after doing it for many years I do, stiil find it hard not to get into conversations with the crowd and/or bences when I know I shouldn't.

It's actually easier when there's hundreds behind you rather than just a handful
I do talk to (and joke with) spectators cautiously on occasion
Once they start questioning something or having a go in any way, they disappear and any communication is cut off entirely

 

[ChasObserverRefDeveloper]

Following on from BigCat, the comedic element is always there from the 'crowd'

Isthmian U18s this week. After a goal is scored, bit of argy bargy between GS and GK - escalated into full scale 'handbags' - no punches thrown but 2 easy yellows for AAA - Ref asked me for GS number as he had lost him in the melee (A few others got involved) - all good.

Man in the crowd says "So that's a yellow for trying to get the ball back then?" - Erm , no, its a yellow for squaring up to the GK.

Obviously he thought it was my fault as 5 mins later innocous, but obvious push in the back, so FK for his team. Bit of handbags after that as well, ref was 3 yards from the foul and 1 yard from the afters, so had a word, but my new mate says "Didn't see that lino? Selective vision eh?"

No idea what he was on about? Ref dealt with it perfectly and although I was only about 10 - 15 yards away no need to get involved obviously.

Even after doing it for many years I do, stiil find it hard not to get into conversations with the crowd and/or bences when I know I shouldn't.

I always managed to avoid any discussions with spectators (even re "How long left, lino?") but it's not always easy.
As an Observer I remind AR's regularly that it's bad practice.
My favourite, which I have aired on here previously, was a game on the second of January a number of years ago.
I flagged an obvious offside offence, at which point play was stopped for an injury to be treated.
Two regulars behind me.
Regular 1: "This is the worst linesman we've had all year"
After a short pause, Regular 2: "It's only January the second"
Regular 1: "Yeah, but we won't get another one this bad!"

 

[JamesL]

Man in the crowd says "So that's a yellow for trying to get the ball back then?" - Erm , no, its a yellow for squaring up to the GK.

GS - we reffing netball now?

On the subject of this one. This really annoys me because it's not their ball to get back as the restart is for the other team!!!

Think BC makes a good point, far easier to ignore 200 speccys than 2. I am always very very careful about engaging with spectators, and try not to 9f at all.

 

[Big Cat]

I always managed to avoid any discussions with spectators (even re "How long left, lino?") but it's not always easy.
As an Observer I remind AR's regularly that it's bad practice.
My favourite, which I have aired on here previously, was a game on the second of January a number of years ago.
I flagged an obvious offside offence, at which point play was stopped for an injury to be treated.
Two regulars behind me.
Regular 1: "This is the worst linesman we've had all year"
After a short pause, Regular 2: "It's only January the second"
Regular 1: "Yeah, but we won't get another one this bad!"

During a stoppage, if a spectator asks how long is left and there's no bad blood between AR and spectators, I see it as plain rude to ignore the simple Q

I don't see anything to be gained by blanking someone in such circumstances. That said, all circumstances are unique so it just depends on such nuance

 

[santa sangria]

I always managed to avoid any discussions with spectators (even re "How long left, lino?") but it's not always easy.
As an Observer I remind AR's regularly that it's bad practice.
My favourite, which I have aired on here previously, was a game on the second of January a number of years ago.
I flagged an obvious offside offence, at which point play was stopped for an injury to be treated.
Two regulars behind me.
Regular 1: "This is the worst linesman we've had all year"
After a short pause, Regular 2: "It's only January the second"
Regular 1: "Yeah, but we won't get another one this bad!"

Agreed. Even eye contact or a smile at speccies is asking for trouble.

 

[RustyRef]

During a stoppage, if a spectator asks how long is left and there's no bad blood between AR and spectators, I see it as plain rude to ignore the simple Q

I don't see anything to be gained by blanking someone in such circumstances. That said, all circumstances are unique so it just depends on such nuance

It's probably just about OK at your level as not that likely to be a big crowd. At the next level observers will pull you up on it, assuming they hear it, ARs can't have any interaction with the crowd on a National League game.

 

[PinnerPaul]

It's probably just about OK at your level as not that likely to be a big crowd. At the next level observers will pull you up on it, assuming they hear it, ARs can't have any interaction with the crowd on a National League game.

Not surprised to hear that. There is one AR on the Championship, who has an 'unusual' style, and I can't recall his name, but this season he turned to the crowd and said something or made a gesture and the crowd responded with "We love you lino, we do" - can't imagine the observer would have been too impressed!

 

[RustyRef]

Not surprised to hear that. There is one AR on the Championship, who has an 'unusual' style, and I can't recall his name, but this season he turned to the crowd and said something or made a gesture and the crowd responded with "We love you lino, we do" - can't imagine the observer would have been too impressed!

There will always be some mavericks. Interacting with the crowd isn't necessarily going to cost them marks, but it is definitely frowned upon.