Article in Telegraph about referees and RESPECT

[Justylove]

OK here we go. Switch to another channel if not interested.

Start rant

Apart from the cases where abuse happens even after the 'tools' available to referees are used correctly, there will always be referees who have not learnt how to use the tools properly yet. Not everyone was borne a good referee but everyone is welcome to become a referee and learn along the way. There are some new referees here who are going through the experience now. But for the experienced ones, take yourself back to your first season and the very first game that was a 'I don't want to be here' game. How would you have felt if after your game a mentor or a senior referee came to you and said "if you had used your cards properly then....". Even experienced referees feel entrapped sometimes and end up having a bad day. Referee abuse is not acceptable no ifs no buts. New referee, experience referee, card happy referee, those who bottle it...
When talking about referee abuse don't even mentioned what "if you had done... ". If you want to talk about it in a game and player management context at a different time then that is a different story. Referees being abused need support not someone telling them if you had done this and that you wouldn't have been abused.

I have used this extreme example in the past. Its like telling if women wore more conservative clothes there would be less rape. You cant interpret it any other way but to call it victim blaming. My view anyway.

Rant over.

I remember my second ever game which was one of those "I don't want to be here" games. I've often reflected on that game and would love to have another go at it, knowing what I know now, as the outcome would have been very different in terms of how I handled it then.
Using the tools available to you comes from

1) Knowing the laws of the game and what tool to use (i.e. stepped approach, cards etc.)
2) Having confidence to use those tools even when its not a "popular" decision to make - for me this comes down to experience, making mistakes and learning from them.

I look at my cards for dissent for example and analyse whether there was anything that I did that contributed to the player getting the card. In some cases, its a clear "no" the player fully deserves it, however there have been times where i've made some poor decisions that contribute to the frustration of the player, leading to me then cautioning for dissent.

Some of the situations that arise come out of the blue. I remember a cup game a few years ago. 15 minutes to go, played in a good spirit, home side winning 7-0 and not much happening everyone playing out the rest of the game. Away club assistant gives throw in against the home team near halfway, to which one of the home players screams "you F'ing cheating C***" and runs across and punches him. Cue mass con, 2 reds 4 yellows from that one issue. No way I could have anticipated that.

I also have had situations, especially when I was far less experienced where i've not cautioned for a foul tackle, then a player has come in and taken their own retribution, leading to players walking for VC. In those situations, had I dealt with them effectively in the first instance, i'd not have caused myself a problem 2-3 minutes later.

I believe its ok to get things wrong, make mistakes and screw up, as long as you recognise afterwards you've made an error and learn from it. I get that there are not enough mentors to go to games and watch referees, but one area that I think would be valuable is having referees complete self evaluation forms, getting them thinking about their decisions and considering what they could have done better. Without having that self analysis, the danger is that referees are going out and making the same mistakes over and over again.

 

[Padfoot]

I had a player put his head on mine 3 weeks ago after giving my 3rd red card of the game against his team. 7 yellows this weekend in 2 matches and removed the coach. I have the skills required to control games and people who are out of line just because of my football experience and life experience. There will always be the odd idiot who will be way out of line regardless of the referee. PL referees have been pushed over in the past and they're the best in the country!

Hopefully he was the 4th?

And did you consider abandoning?

 

[Ben448844]

He was the final red and no. No cards after this incident and non in the previous 60 mins. Just a crazy 15 minute spell where the opposition turned a very close game into a 3-0 lead and frustration took over. Nothing I could do to stop the dissent, that was obvious, so I dealt with it with cards after warnings were ignored. I'm afraid all rationality and thought had gone, some players just wanted a fight or someone to blame and they'd lost it, along with the remnants of last night's booze (and everything else) which was clearly evident whenever I went anywhere near them to dish out the cards.

I'm afraid trying to reason with players who are that angry or intent on getting themselves sent off is pointless. I played with many players who would see red mist. Nothing the ref could do when certain players lose it and nor should they.