A&H

Apologising

Will Triffitt

Will Triffitt

Well-Known Member
Level 7 Referee
Saw this article on the BBC over lunch today:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/38105411
It made me wonder, have you ever apologised for not giving a decision? What about for having a bad game? I know that I have once apologised to a coach for having a very bad game. Is it right to apologise via email after a game? If so, how would you say sorry? And finally, would you ever expect an apology from a coach or player?

Not trying to make anyone feel guilty here, just wondering...?!
 
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If I've made a genuine mistake then I might apologise personally after the game subject to the prevailing atmosphere.
For example, in one of my early matches a centre half took out the opposition striker which should have been an obvious caution. In the ensuing commotion I lost sight of the offending player - he did have a couple of team mates roughly similar in appearance. As a result I never issued the caution. I explained and apologised to the striker's team at the end of the match and it was well received.
As a coach I've had a referee apologise to me and took it for the genuine apology it was.
I wouldn't apologise if it was just a doubt or question over a particular decision. Also wouldn't be keen on apologising by e-mail, text, social media etc - much better to do it face to face.
 
OIREF! said:
If I've made a genuine mistake then I might apologise personally after the game subject to the prevailing atmosphere.
For example, in one of my early matches a centre half took out the opposition striker which should have been an obvious caution. In the ensuing commotion I lost sight of the offending player - he did have a couple of team mates roughly similar in appearance. As a result I never issued the caution. I explained and apologised to the striker's team at the end of the match and it was well received.
As a coach I've had a referee apologise to me and took it for the genuine apology it was.
I wouldn't apologise if it was just a doubt or question over a particular decision. Also wouldn't be keen on apologising by e-mail, text, social media etc - much better to do it face to face.
Click to expand...

I think at Roger East's level when a mistake can quite quickly be highlighted its very different, you would wonder whether he would have emailed and/or received a similar response had they lost the game 1-0.
 
It worked for Howard Webb, according to his autobiography.

Martin O'Neill went form calling him all the names under the sun, to putting his arm round him when Howard admitted he had got a big decision wrong!

A (sort of) apology I use, if I've got something obvioulsy wrong, is "Sorry about that, I didn't see it" , or "Sorry, that's what it looked like from my angle"

Obviously, if you get something wrong IN LAW, then probably best to own up, but of course, depends on temperature of match, managers, players, spectators...
 
I did last season.... player running towards his own goal, ball takes a bounce and hangs in the air. The player first looks at the ball and then makes several looks at the goalkeeper, who is walking out to meet the ball. Defender then looks at the keeper and shouts (I didn't hear the shout), takes a swing at the ball and makes contact underneath. The keeper is right next to the defender at this time and catches the ball. I blew for the "passback". Got a rollicking off the keeper and defender. I never admitted then that I made a mistake, but as soon as I blew, I knew I had. I'd been watching the player who really did look like he was trying to play the ball at the keeper. It just happened so fast...

I had a bit of mouth from the keeper a little while after... I called him to me and said to him that I'd made a mistake and that he should get off my back. He apologised for getting on my back and acknowledged the fact I'd made a mistake and was willing to hold my hands up...

I think it is better to hold your hands up and say "sorry gents, I made a mistake" rather than to be quiet and deny a mistake... Because then, these guys and spectators just think you're a rubbish refereee with rubbish judgement. I think it made that game a bit easier if I'm honest.
 
If I know in hindsight I'm wrong, I will always apologise, why not, we're only human after all.
I recently apologised to both teams, coaching staff and spectators for being a numpty after having a senior moment and stopping play because the ball didn't leave the centre circle on a kick off.........
 
Being prepared to admit mistakes is a key part of match control. The players and coaches know when you have dropped one so to not acknowledge it would demonstrate arrogance and disrespect.

But I never try and make up for it, trying to even things up will only ever lead to bigger problems
 
I've only ever made one error in law (to my knowledge), I've made hundreds of errors in judgement but thats how i saw it at the time.... so tough!!!
 
There's nothing wrong with apologising in my eyes. We're all human and we all make mistakes, in my experience players and coaches will generally accept an apology; failing to acknowledge it when you know you've dropped a clanger just comes across as arrogant.
 
Gave two pens today, first one player was clearly fouled and ball broke to his mate (massive calls for a pen) but I played on and he converted the goal. As we walked back one attacker jokingly said 'that was a defo pen ref'! I said 'yes, I apologise, shall we go back for it or shall we let them take the kick off'! wink wink....
 
A few years ago I awarded a penalty because I saw the goalkeeper clearly push a player with both hands, said player falling over. After the penalty had been taken (and scored) I realised it was a defender he'd pushed because he wanted him out of the way.

That keeper got a very sincere apology from the referee. He was extremely understanding about it.

Sometimes you can tell from an appeal that the appealing players genuinely think you've missed something. And of course you can't see everything. So I quite often say I didn't see it, if I missed a foul, I apologise. Usually players will accept that.
 
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