The Ref Stop

First Game yesterday

Jim Barnett

New Member
So i took charge of my first game yesterday - I don't think it went particularly great.

I turned up and the pitch we were meant to be playing on was being used by another team so we were allocated an astro truth pitch. Introduced myself to the teams and there was a bit of light hearted banter floating around.
The chairman of my league sent someone down to come and meet met me which was appreciated however his voice was so loud that one of the teams would have heard him say this was my first game (indeed after half time a player from one of the teams said something along the lines of "this is your first game? we all have to start somewhere so whether this guy told one their team I don't know)

Game kicks off - no major incidents really to start off with other than not looking at my linesman enough and going against their decisions for throw ins. Home team score and around 35 minute away team has a corner where one of their players is being held and I feel was eventually thrown to the ground so I award a penalty! The home team are then saying there pushing in every game and even their players didn't appeal it. So im now starting to doubt my decision - penalty is saved.

2nd half kicks off and again I get a some direction of throw ins wrong which is getting the players annoyed. The captain of the home teams then makes a tackle from behind which whilst winning the ball I felt was excessive force. The captain then starts walking away and I hear him calling me a ****ing something but I put this down to his annoyance that id given two fouls in quick succession for what he thought were fair tackles. A player from the away team then says hes swearing at you ref you want to book him. At this point I blow my whistle and go over to speak with the captain. I said I understood he wasn't happy with my calls but he cannot be swearing at me (I did use a swear word in my chat which I apologised for) and if he keeps it up he will be booked which he accepted and gave me a pat on the arm.

around 25 minutes into the second half the away team have an attack which breaks down at which point home team break and as I turn im aware of a player on the ground - his team I saying its a head injury ref you need to blow but I allow play to continue (the home team are saying well you had the ball and didn't put it out) ball goes out for a GK and at this point when I go over player gets up and hobbles off the pitch.

We get to the 85th minute and game is 1-1. Home team have a corner and as players are lining up im aware that the AR who is away teams coach is very close to the flag and the taker and I ask him to step back. Corner is taken and the player taking then says he was tripped as he took it - as play breaks the manager for home team is screaming at me saying I need to sort this out.

Home team then play a ball over the top - first player isn't flagged for offside and his shot is saved by GK but ball breaks for second player who was offside at first phase who scores. At this point the AR has his flag up but I have already awarded a goal and the away team are telling me to go and speak with the AR. I advise from my position I could not see any offside and I am allowed to overrule the AR. We have about 90 seconds to go and the game is at boliling point with a few high challenges. At this point I call time as I was worried that the game was about to kick off. home team players shake my hand but none of the away team do - an away player keeps going back to the offside call and keeps questioning it

As im walking over to my bag an member of the away teams staff then says he has two minutes to go on his watch and I advise I have 45 on mine. I give myself 5 minutes away from everybody at which point the player who was hassling me after the game comes over and apologises to me (he hadn't actually spoken out of turn or swore at me) but I said I appreciate the gesture and I could understand his frustration

I have to be honest as I drove away I felt like crying - I can still hear the shouts and calls at me. I just felt like the wrong directions for throw ins and what not are basic things and if I cant even get those right whats the point and im already wondering if this is for me and do I have a skin thick enough
 
The Ref Stop
I have been reffing for three years had a game which was horrid on Saturday but on reflection I learnt a lot and although I hated every minute of it from this game I will become better at what I do. You are always going to get a decision wrong, or ref it wrong too lenient then too strict you have to do what is right. Maybe you should do some senior youth games U14s-U18s the game is the same but the players tend to be a bit less vocal. Get some confidence doing these games and then move up to OA again. A player swears at you cards out. I was slow getting my cards out on Saturday and my match control went and so I wasn't great. We all have games like this don't give up you will be fine. The fact that you have come on here to share your experience shows that you want to ref and become a better ref. Even though I was rubbish I had a player come up and apologise afterwards and say its nothing personel we just want to win. I think that sums up grass roots footie.
 
sounds like a classic first game Jim
all those issues you describe above are learning points... sounds like a reasonably feisty game for what, i think you said was a top v bottom clash.
Someone said before the weekend that you shouldnt assume that these games are going to be easy, as anything can happen.
Firstly, it sounds like the man with the booming voice has sold you a little down the river, inadvertently, and the players have in all probability latched onto that and played up moreso than they would normally.
take note of the comments that follow from the forum as regards how you have proceeded, and take them into next week.
Practice makes perfect and you will learn how to deal with things.
And think about the stuff you got right too.. i bet that outnumbered the things you got wrong.
 
We have all been there, I can relate to loads of what you said not just in my first game either! In my course thing that stuck with me is that it isn't the good games that will define you it's how you respond to the bad ones. Choose your battles wisely when you are getting used to it all, go with your linesman 99 per cent of the time for petty stuff like throw ins on half way line etc. Try and be proactive, for the corner incident leading to penalty for example in future at corners shout hands down before it comes in then if someone clearly pulls someone down they can't say they weren't warned if you give a pen. Also agree about doing younger ages to gain experience and confidence
 
Sounds like a tough game for anyone, let alone a first game. I think we all tend to focus on our mistakes, especially early on in our refereeing careers. I was you just a year and a half ago! Have another go next week and you'll have another game to reflect on, and then another and before long you've got some good experience up your sleeve and much more confidence.
The hardest part is out of the way. Well done!
 
I assume your "linos" were supplied by the teams - so they were Club Assistant Referees, or CARs. When overriding a CAR on a throw-in, consider whether they are favouring their own team or not. If they are giving the throw against their own team, the likelihood is they have seen something you haven't - so go with them. If you are confident in your decision though, then certainly override, but call out to them why - e.g. "ball clipped blue's boot on the way out", with a short nod of the head. Was it one or both CARs that you kept overriding on the throws, and were they benefiting their own team each time? If so, consider whether they need to be replaced. Also, how did you brief them pre-match? Were they just given the flags or did you talk to them about how you operate, and if you override don't take it personally, just that you had a different view etc?
 
Thanks all for you kind messages - I do feel like I don't think I can take any positives out of the game if im honest.
In terms of the throw ins these were more mistakes from me - I was giving the throw ins on the areas of the touch line where the CAR's weren't stood and it was only after I awarded a throw in did someone say look at the lino so there wasn't really much favouritism as such - just wrong calls from me which I did say to the players these were my errors but I don't think it really placated them
 
In terms of youth football that was what I was thinking but when I contacted the chairman of my league an adult game was what I was allocated - I don't actually know if the chairman of the league oversees the youth football as well. But I feel like I need not so high a pressure game to get my bearings as such - the games played at the practical days of the course were no preparation at all for what yesterday was actually like - id never played sunday league only ever played for my school so wasn't used to the atmosphere
 
As the others have said, well done on a cracking first game.
There's a massive positive in there: to call that offside is a really big decision, well done.
In a few months, you'll have a really boring game and you'll wish it was as action packed as that one!

And if you think a player is unfairly held and then thrown to the ground at a corner - while the ball is in play - then it's a penalty. Good decision.

Players will always test you. Try not be reactive, or at least not to appear reactive. If you can warn about holding in the box... or double peep to have a word with a player before the opposition asks for it... it's the kind of thing that helps you keep match control... moreover it is great for your confidence.

Losing teams not wanting to shake hands is par for the course, sadly.

You are frustrated about niggly throw in decisions. That's perfectly normal. I just blew 4 pages of discussion on here just because I got a throw in wrong! Take your time. Call what you see. If you have to guess, or second guess a CAR, have a look at the reactions of the players. If 22 players are going one way, usually going with them is the right decision on throw ins ;)
 
In terms of youth football that was what I was thinking but when I contacted the chairman of my league an adult game was what I was allocated - I don't actually know if the chairman of the league oversees the youth football as well. But I feel like I need not so high a pressure game to get my bearings as such - the games played at the practical days of the course were no preparation at all for what yesterday was actually like - id never played sunday league only ever played for my school so wasn't used to the atmosphere
Do some more games, more confidence will come. Working as an AR is really good for getting used to the game feeling - with the bonus of getting to see how better refs work and asking their advice.
 
Speak to your RDO and say I would like to ref some senior youth, he will put you in touch with the right people, if Essex is anything like Suffolk you won't have any issues getting senior youth games, or if you are close to the suffolk border give Ian Atkins a ring at Suffolk FA he is always looking for refs who will do youth.
 
Speak to your RDO and say I would like to ref some senior youth, he will put you in touch with the right people, if Essex is anything like Suffolk you won't have any issues getting senior youth games, or if you are close to the suffolk border give Ian Atkins a ring at Suffolk FA he is always looking for refs who will do youth.

This may be a dumb question but was does RDO mean? And sadly im in Harlow which borders Hertfordshire so Suffolk would be a bit of a stretch
 
Also should I include the tripping allegation within my match report? Don't really want to burn any bridges anymore with the away team who no doubt are giving me a rubbish rating
 
This may be a dumb question but was does RDO mean? And sadly im in Harlow which borders Hertfordshire so Suffolk would be a bit of a stretch

RDO stands for Referee Development Officer - each FA will have (at least) one, you can find them on the FA's website and they will usually have had some sort of involvement in your course.

As far as the game goes, I echo everyone else's comments - practice makes perfect! I remember my first few games - I made a ton of mistakes, but the important thing is that you learn from them, and also recognise the positives too - the offside and penalty decision are very difficult to do, so huge credit for that! I also think santa sangria's advice of being an AR for a few games could help to - see how other refs deal with problems; what works and what doesn't, see what you like. There's always room for improvement!
 
This may be a dumb question but was does RDO mean? And sadly im in Harlow which borders Hertfordshire so Suffolk would be a bit of a stretch
RDO is your referee development officer, who's in charge of making sure referees develop and are supported throughout their careers. For Essex it's James Lisher, who you can email at james.lisher@essexfa.com . Unfortunately, I've never done youth football since moving to Essex, so I can't specifically advise you on good youth leagues round here, but he's a very helpful guy and will be well placed to let you know where you can gain that kind of experience if that's a route you'd like to go down.

Alternately, if you're keen to give adult football another go, I'd absolutely encourage that. You've done the right thing by coming here for support, and hopefully you got some useful comments from your informal mentor as well. I know it's tough, but do take the positives as well - you were brave enough to give a (sounds like correct) penalty decision in your first match, which not everyone does, and choosing to speak to the captain to warn about a possible swearing incident is smart management where some people would just let it slide. I'm sure in the cold light of day, you'll look back on an easy first 35 minutes as a positive, and probably be able to pick out other good things as well. Build on them!
 
Hey, let's inject some realism @Jim Barnett and relax a little - it was your first game!
Once you make a decision on a penalty, stick with it, blow your whistle, point to the spot, explain who did what (briefly and without further discussion), take disciplinary action id required and move on. That's a lot to take in for a first game so don't worry about something that experience will develop. As a tip, why not be proactive on these situations? Talk to players, not individually but as a whole. Warn them you're watching and tell them to keep it 'clean', both sides. Stress the both sides.
On the tackle in the 2nd half, I'll be blunt - if you consider it 'excessive force' what should you have done? It could be that some of the later issues stem from this rather than anything else you did. And certainly, accepting Offensive, Insulting or Abusive language (OFFINABUS) won't help you. But, as I say, many an referee with more games under their belt will struggle with this.
Look at it this way, the next game won't be your first!
And BTW, as much as you think otherwise, always play 45 minutes. If the game is heated, blow your whistle for every foul no matter how little, and take your time, slow the game down by, let the steam drift away.
I bet even masters of the art like Howard Webb, had first game experiences they'd like to forget but it key is to remember and feed off it positively in the future.
 
As the others have said, well done on a cracking first game.
There's a massive positive in there: to call that offside is a really big decision, well done.
In a few months, you'll have a really boring game and you'll wish it was as action packed as that one!

And if you think a player is unfairly held and then thrown to the ground at a corner - while the ball is in play - then it's a penalty. Good decision.

Players will always test you. Try not be reactive, or at least not to appear reactive. If you can warn about holding in the box... or double peep to have a word with a player before the opposition asks for it... it's the kind of thing that helps you keep match control... moreover it is great for your confidence.

Losing teams not wanting to shake hands is par for the course, sadly.

You are frustrated about niggly throw in decisions. That's perfectly normal. I just blew 4 pages of discussion on here just because I got a throw in wrong! Take your time. Call what you see. If you have to guess, or second guess a CAR, have a look at the reactions of the players. If 22 players are going one way, usually going with them is the right decision on throw ins ;)

Excellent last point there re throw ins. Its sometimes pays to wait just a second or two for the unsure decisions. Often I've thought a ball out of play was for one team, and the other team will pick up the ball and no one says a word - little 'tricks' like that you will pick up as you go along. 'Chairman of the League' is likely to be just that - Chairman of that one O/A league. Go on the Essex FA website, click on 'Leagues' and you are bound to find youth leagues on there. Another option is to find leagues/competitions where you can be an AR - you will learn an awful lot from 'higher' referees that way as well. Do stick at it, my 2nd game, I was told I was going to be reported for playing a youth game on an unsafe pitch - he didn't but was probably right! - I'm up to over 450 games now - don't lose heart just yet!
 
Thanks again everybody for your kind messages and messages of support - its given me a lot to think over in a good way!

Should I include the incident with the trip at the corner within my match report?
 
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