Hello Jack, sad to hear that, because it is hassle whatever the underlying cause and I know from your posts here you try hard and are passionate.
My first thought is: your refsec or equivalent has probably (key word
) been around the block and knows what to expect from losing teams, difficult teams, difficult managers etc. They've seen all kinds of crazy complaints so they are measured in how they respond. They don't bin refs carelessly.
My next thought is something about the difference between who we are as people, characters and the job we do. And maybe that's connected to whether you are a manager-of-games type or more of a administer the law type. Personally I find the emotional and social side a challenge that I have to work on. The social part usually comes out OK and that helps me deal with emotional coaches at least.
So, what are the complaints really about do you think?
Reading between the lines - I'll get to the point - are you rubbing some people up the wrong way?
I know it shouldn't be a factor but it is. We have to get respect - but we can't get it just from the cards or whistle. We have to go to games, pre-match, match and post-match, and earn respect. Part of that is how we handle difficult customers. We have to find a balance.
Of course, flip side, if this just coaches b**ching because they are bad losers and getting revenge, and you are taking the rap, then it's just not on.
Whichever way your refsec owes you a good explanation and you should be open - and try to be constructive.