A&H

Tips on building confidence

Jack M

Active Member
Level 6 Referee
Hi guys,

I reffed a mix of adult and youth football last season but dropped the adults due to low confidence. I love refereeing and want to progress so I was wondering if anyone on here had any advice to build more confidence?
 
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I certainly go through peaks and troughs of high and low confidence. In my experience the only remedy is reffing more games and waiting for the confidence to come back. Unfortunately I can't offer you something more tangible!
 
Ok, we all have self doubts, but remember you know more than the 22 plus idiots in front of you. Make your decisions, be vocal about them and brook no nonsense, you always have weapons at your disposal including the nuclear option.
Will you get ever thing right, course not! But so what, it's your decision that counts, even if you're wrong you're right.......
Remember to talk, I always found that hard to do, but you know what, the more I did, the better the match went.
Yes take the time to review each game and work out what was good, what was bad and work on those aspects.
Most of all, go out to the middle, every game with the intent to enjoy yourself.
 
Set your stall out early, firm but fair. If they are behaving then you can slightly relax, let a few things go that in a tempestuous game that you wouldn't, smile, talk to the players, answer questions as best you can as long as they aren't incessant.. Enjoy yourself because one tackle could make a walk in the park game, the game from hell! If that happens, then thats time to earn your fee, always get the main protagonists, the fouler, the retaliator, and the one that runs from 30 yards to make things worse. Slow that game down, blow for everything, don't let that one niggly foul lead to WW3...

Don't be afraid of upsetting someone either, they started it, make sure you finish it!!! and smile!!!
 
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Its fantastic now looking back on my short refereeing career (12 years) at the private messages that I've subsequently received since from sources that I would have never ever have guessed that my no nonsense approach to idiots was appreciated. Players, normally the quieter ones that felt they were being bullied too saw me as their saviour (their words). Managers too, the ones that actually do appreciate the word respect and the fact that you were usually on your own and you were doing your best under serious stress at times. Yes, a few have had a jovial dig at decisions, thats par for the course, opinions, right or wrong, you give what you see. You WILL make mistakes, so do the big boys in the SG. Look smart, sound confident, learn the LOTG, chest out, enjoy it.....
 
Everyone has confidence issues at some point, whether referees, players or just life in general.

The only way to get over it is to referee games. Perhaps see if you can ask your league, or RA (if you’re a member) whether they have a referee who could come and watch you.

A neutral observer who knows the laws of the game will be a better judge of whether you had a good match or not than some whinging full back whose been on the wrong end of a 10-0 scoreline.

I’ve had observations where I’ve finished the game thinking I’ve had an absolute shocker, only for the observer to point out that I didn’t do anywhere near as badly as I felt I had, and to get a decent mark as well.
 
Hi guys,

I reffed a mix of adult and youth football last season but dropped the adults due to low confidence. I love refereeing and want to progress so I was wondering if anyone on here had any advice to build more confidence?
Do games as an assistant
 
a lot of the guys have given you good tips, remember if you make a mistake during the game forget about it till after the game, then think could have i have stopped that happening, how long have you been reffing the more experience the easier it will get, remember you have nice coloured cards for a reason, keep at it and remember there are plenty of experienced refs on here happy to give you tips
 
For me - number one on my list is to know the laws of the game. Players will try and make you self-doubt. Having clarity in your own mind around the LotG gives you the confidence to make those decisions and ignore the protestations of the players.
 
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